Is it Love? Part One

Sighing as he stared pensively down at the college acceptance letter in front of him, Linc wondered if this would be the only way to make a clean break. His heart hadn't been his for a very long time, and perhaps it would never be his again, but leaving here might be his only chance to get it back. "Yo! Linc!" He winced at the sound of his best friend's voice, hurriedly covering up the letter and looking up to give his best friend of fifteen years a forced smile.

"Hey, Ol." Oliver James. His best friend, and the boy he'd been in love with for years, slid onto the bench in front of him. There was a happy excited look on his face and Linc was sure that Oliver was going to tell him he'd gotten a date for the upcoming dance.

"Guess what?"

Hiding his wince, Linc began to doodle with his pen. "Hmm?"

"I got a date with Jennifer Green for the Prom!" Oliver was so beautiful to him that it stole his breath away. He'd shot up several inches in the previous year to just over six feet, towering well over his mere five foot nine. He swallowed hard at the way the dark blonde hair clung in wisps to the high, smooth cheekbones, and hung partially into the gorgeously aquamarine eyes. It had always fasincated him how Ollie's eyes seemed to change colors with his mood. From aquamarine when he was happy and excited to a greyish blue when he was sad or depressed.

"That's great, Ol." Linc replied listlessly, oblivious to the pained look in Oliver's eyes as his own were trained on a spot behind the boy's head. Sometimes it was painful to look at him. To compare the beautiful, breathtaking picture that was his best friend to himself. His own slender body was no match against Oliver's muscular stature. He'd always been slightly on the feminine side but it was only more pronounced since Oliver had filled out over the last year and a half. His mousy brown hair hung just past his shoulders, straight as a pin and just a shiny. It had never looked right when it was cut short so he'd started growing it out, and it looked sort of okay with his large amber eyes. His mother was constantly threatening to cut it off while he was asleep, but he stubbornly refused to cut it.

"So, are you going to ask anyone to go?" Oliver asked, leaning forward to peer into Linc's eyes.

"No. I'm not going." Linc said, starting to gather up his books. His heart thudded eratically against his ribcage at how close Oliver's face was to his own. He'd taken to avoiding being so close to him recently as it only reinforced the ache in his heart.

"Linc?" Oliver asked quietly.

Linc looked up in surprise at the serious tone in his friend's voice. "What's up, Ollie?"

"Is something wrong?" The aquamarine had faded away to a stormy blue.

A frown marred Linc's forehead and tilted his lips down at the corners. "No. Why?"

"Because you've been kind of odd the last few months. Like something's been bothering you. But you won't talk to me about it."

Linc couldn't believe how intuitive his friend was, but he supposed that Oliver knew him better than anyone, and that might explain how he'd picked up on it. He gave Oliver a bright, happy smile, forced, but as wide as possible. "Of course not! Don't be stupid, Ollie. You know I always talk to you when I'm having a problem. Come on. The bell's about to ring and we'll be late. Mr. Larone would love to ream us both out for being late." He stuffed all of his papers into his backpack, not noticing that the letter he'd been studying had slipped out and fell to the ground.

Oliver watched as his best friend of fifteen years headed towards the school. He reached down and picked up the paper only stare at it in shock. "Lincoln!" He shouted angrily, standing up from the bench.

He heard the anger in Oliver's voice and turned his head in confusion. Dismay flooded him when he saw Oliver holding the acceptance letter for a school in New York. Halfway across the U.S. "What the **** is this?" Oliver demanded, stalking up to him and waving the paper in his face.

Linc snatched the paper from him, his heart sinking into his stomach at the obvious hurt and betrayal on Oliver's face. "I'm sorry." He whispered, his eyes dropping to the ground.

"When were you going to tell me? The day you were going to leave? Huh? What the **** is going on, Linc? I thought we were going to go to the same school and be roommates. Now I find out you're going to some goddamn college halfway across the country!" Oliver clenched his hands into fists at his sides in anger but also in panic. He couldn't lose his best friend.

"I'm sorry, Ollie, but I...they have a great art program and...I...I'm sorry." Linc whirled around and darted into the school, forcing his way through the crowds of students. Graduation was in two months and what he hadn't wanted had happened. Instead of heading for class, he raced for the front of the school, and towards the car his parents had given him as a present for getting into the college.

He entered his house fifteen minutes later and listlessly headed up the stairs to his room. His parents were encouraging him to graduate early, since he had enough credits, to be able to take the art course they offered over the summer months. Now that Oliver was angry at him, perhaps it would be for the best. He picked up the brochure he had studied for months before making the hardest decision of his life to take some time away from the one person who'd been breaking his heart for two years as he'd paraded girl after girl in front of him. "I'm sorry, Ollie." He whispered, picking up the phone and dialing the school in New York. Ten minutes later, he hung up the phone and lay back on his bed to stare up at the ceiling.

His cell phone rang several times that afternoon but the ringtone alerted him to the owner and he ignored it, biting his lip each time it began to ring. He curled up into a ball on his bed and pulled the pillow over his head. Eventually he fell asleep only to be awakened by a rough hand on his shoulder. "Wake up!" He heard the hard edge to Oliver's voice and sat up, blinking heavily against the haze of sleep.

"Ollie?" He rubbed his eyes and focused in on his friend sitting on the edge of his bed. He winced and looked away. "What are you doing here?"

"What the hell do you think I'm doing here?" Oliver demanded angrily, his eyes were a dark green.

Linc shrugged and didn't look at him. "Why, Linc? Tell me why!" He heard the almost pleading note in the other teen's voice and ran a hand through his touseled hair.

"I...already told you."

"Don't lie to me, Linc. I know you aren't telling the truth. You never could lie worth a damn." Oliver reached out and gripped his friend's shoulders harshly, his fingers digging into the tender flesh in his panic to hold on to his friend.

"I...can't tell you why, Ollie. Please, just understand that I need to go away for a while. I need to sort some things out in my head and the only way to do that is to get away from here." He left the 'get away from you' as a silent remark hanging between them.

Oliver stared powerlessly at his friend, frantically trying to come up with something to keep him from leaving. "You're my best friend, Linc. I don't want to lose you."

Linc felt his heart jolt sharply and almost cried at the physical pain his words had caused. Tears prickled at the edge of his eyes and he blinked wildly to stem them. He just shook his head and carefully reached up to pry Oliver's fingers from his shoulders. What happened next would stay with him for the rest of his life.

Oliver suddenly forced him onto his back, pressing him deep into the mattress, before smashing his lips down on Linc's. Lincoln's eyes widened in shock as he realized that Oliver was kissing him, but it wasn't a gentle kiss. It was harsh and cruel. He struggled to get away, pushing at the unmoving body atop his. But Oliver wouldn't budge, instead beginning to tear at his clothes, ripping the shirt from his body. Linc didn't understand, confusion and horror kept him immobile as the boy he'd give his life for began to ravage his body.

The tears he'd been supressing spilled over, leaking from the corners of his eyes and trickling down into his hair as Oliver rammed into his unprepared body. He cried out in pain and agony, gripping at the strong, muscular shoulders he'd always depended on. His body responded, knowing who was inside him, moving deeply, surging into him over and over again. "Ollie." He whispered as his heart shattered.

The hard length inside him pulsed and shuddered as Oliver exploded into his body, flooding him with the hot warmth of his seed. Linc clenched his jaw, his eyes squeezing shut tightly, when his own body released between them, spilling across his stomach. Oliver collapsed atop him, panting heavily. Their skin was coated in sweat and began to cool in the draft from the air conditioning. Linc stared sightlessly up at the ceiling above him, still pressed deeply into the bed beneath him by the hard body over his. "Linc?" Oliver suddenly queried hoarsely, dread rising in his voice.

Linc just trembled uncontrollably, unable to answer the obvious torment in his best friend's voice. "Linc. Oh, my God. What did I do? Linc?" Oliver moved off of him, and reached out to touch his face to get his attention, stopping as Linc whimpered and flinched away. "I'm sorry, Linc. I'm so sorry."

"Get out." He whispered.

"Wait, please, Linc." Oliver begged.

"Get out. Please get out now." Linc pulled the sheet over his naked, broken body.

He heard Oliver stand from the bed and begin to dress before quietly leaving the room. Great sobs wracked his body as the reality of what had just happened hit him. His best friend had just raped him. The one person he loved with all his heart. He lay there weakly afterward, his body and emotions numb. He eventually found the energy to pull himself from the bed to stumble into his bathroom to shower. The water beat down on him, washing away the blood and seed, washing away the evidence of the final heart break. He ripped the bedsheets from the mattress, throwing them in the trash can in the backyard, and went back inside to begin packing. The following morning, his parents helped him load up the car with his boxes and began the long road trip to deliver him to the school. Linc didn't speak almost the entire trip, drawing worried glances from his parents but he just ignored it. Nothing penetrated the cold that had invaded his heart.

The school was beautiful, and he was immediately assigned a dorm room with another art student named Michael. Michael was the complete opposite of Oliver in looks and personality. Black hair, dark as ink, hung around his shoulders in waves, sleek and silky. Dark grey eyes shined like silver whenever he was happy. He was only a few inches taller than Linc, just where his eyes met Michael's nose. They got along easily, but Linc knew Michael was curious whenever he would catch him staring off into the distance with a sad and pained expression.

It was three months after he'd arrived at the school that he spilled his story to Michael. Late one night, his roommate woke him from a nightmare where he'd been crying. Not screaming just crying. Huge sobs that would break the heart of even the coldest person. "Linc!" Michael shook his newest friend roughly.

Linc woke with a gasp of air, his eyes flying open wide. "Michael?"

"You were crying in your sleep." Michael stated softly, his silver eyes sad.

"Oh." Linc sat up and ran a hand over his wet cheeks.

"What happened, Linc? Why are you always so sad? I know we haven't been friends long but you can talk to me, you know. You can trust me."

He stared down at the bedsheets where his hands lay and knew he had to talk to someone. It wasn't helping to keep it locked inside. So before he knew it, the story quickly fell from his lips, leaving Michael horrified and angry. The kind silver eyes flashed angrily. "That son of a bitch. And you never once pressed charges against him?" Michael demanded.

"I couldn't." Linc brought his fist up against his chest, over his heart, as if it would stop the constant nagging ache. "I loved him too much to have done that to him. I...don't think he meant it to happen. He was scared that he would lose me as his friend. And I think he just....didn't know what else to do."

"That's no excuse!" Michael exclaimed harshly, studying the liquid amber eyes watching him sadly. There was such an agonized expression on the slender boy's face. He reached out and ran his thumb over the tears that still clung to the dark eyelashes. He wanted to take away the pain that plagued the beautiful creature in front of him. He slowly wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close, burying his face in the light brown sheet of hair. "You deserve better than that, Linc. Don't let him take away your life, too."

Linc didn't know how to react to being held so carefully, like he was made of glass and he'd shatter into a million pieces if held too tightly. His heart began to beat a little faster as his nose became aware of the fresh, clean scent drifting from his roommate. It left his head spinning with attraction and it left him feeling guilty for being interested in his roommate when he only wanted to comfort him. "Michael?" He whispered into the dark hair brushing his face.

Michael heard the question in Linc's voice and pulled away reluctantly, giving him a shaky smile. "Sorry. I didn't mean to crowd you."

"No. That's all right. Thank you. I...it felt good to talk to someone about it. I've been so....numb since it happened." Linc smiled at him and lightly touched the back of his hand where it rested beside him.

"Are you going to be all right?" The other boy asked with concern.

Linc nodded. "I'll be fine. I...know it's going to take some time to get over what happened, but it helped to talk about it."

"Good. I'm glad." Michael said huskily, wanting to lean forward and kiss the still trembling lips but held back. He slowly stood and walked back over to his own bed. "Good night, Linc."

"Good night, Michael." Linc called into the dark when the lamp snapped off.


It opened up a new part of their friendship and they grew even closer as the months flew by. It was almost time for Christmas vacation. Linc was warring between staying at the dorm for the holidays, or going home to face Oliver. Finally, too much of a coward to open up old wounds, Linc decided on staying at the dorm, telling his parents he had way too much studying to do to be able to come home. He wished them a happy Christmas, and sent them both gifts through the mail a few days before. Michael was shocked to find out that he was staying there. "Come home with me, Linc. You can meet my parents and you won't have to be alone for the holidays. Please?" He gave Linc his best puppy dog expression, drawing a laugh from the slender boy.

Linc finally gave in after much pleading on Michael's part, and the start of the two week vacation found them on the long car ride from New York to New Hampshire. They chatted about classes, art, and books along the way. Linc had secretly gotten Michael a gift the day before leaving and it rested at the bottom of his dufflebag. "Hey, Linc?" Michael called from outside the car where they'd stopped at a gas station.

"What's up?" He stuck his head out the window.