I wanted to take a moment to say hello to my wonderful friends here at AP and let you all know how much I have missed being online and reading your work. For the last several months, my activity here has been limited due to enormous family responsibility and being quite sick. The severity of not feeling well has been debilitating and left me with little strength for anything.
I have been under a tremendous amount of stress and that has now been compounded with a determination by my doctors that I will not be able to continue my current pregnancy. They’ve discovered, after a battery of tests of the last several days, that our baby is profoundly and gravely ill and has no chance of survival.
As you can all imagine, I am numb. I can’t begin to express how this is affecting me. This has devastated our family. We have spent the last months planning for his arrival only to be instead planning his memorial. We are left with broken dreams and broken hearts. Though our son will never have a chance to know life on his own, he has known love beyond measure, given deeply to him by his mother, his father, brothers and sisters and entire family. We now wish to give his soul the chance to rest in peace.
I’m scheduled for surgery within the next few days as it has become a threat to my health and taken a terrible toll on my body. The pain that this causes me is greater than any I have ever felt in this lifetime. It has been the most difficult decision to make and to accept but inevitably, it is best for my son and for the rest of my family. I can not bare the thought that my child has already suffered for months and has known nothing but pain and agony in his short existence within me, so I choose to give him back to the Lord so that he may rest and know peace.
I won’t be around much for awhile but I hope to stop in occasionally to read the lovely poetry you all create. Please forgive me if I don’t leave my comments on your work but know that your words will help me to ease the burden in my mind. For those of you who are in one of my groups, I will post no new activity for those groups in the near future.
Until I find the strength to write for my son, I doubt that I will write much at all. As fellow poets know, the emotional scope of our words when they hit the page is the essence of our thoughts and at this point, I am left at a loss as to how to place my feelings to paper. I am simply too hollow and empty and full of tears to lift the pen. I know the day will come when I can release the pain into words and begin to heal. Right now, I have to allow myself to grieve and mourn for my son, whom we have named Jon Thomas Lee Hamilton, and regain my strength to carry on for the rest of my family.
Please, please keep us in your prayers. Thank you all.
With much love,
~Lori
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1 - 72 of 72
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Lori, I am sorry for the loss of Jon Thomas Lee. I hope your health improves quickly and send prayers for your recovery, and condolances. There are no words I know, ( I lost twins in 1985) but know you are in the thoughts and prayers of many here at AP.
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With far away love and prayers
May God give you and our family strength to bare this heavy burden. Life gets ruff sometimes on us all, You know kids, He will be saving you all a seat up in heaven telling how great his family are and don't take ony of their sears,, ;ittle guy are like that see you know what I mean after all he is your little guy and he has an angel for a sitter till you get there.. God bless you all. Amen for the Peace of God. mac -
I am sorry to hear about your loss. I will pray for you. God will help you.
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I am so sorry. May God be with you!
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That is a beautiful name. You chose well for your son. And even though he might not be with you now, he has a name, and that means everything.
May the Lord bless you,
Phoenix -
Our Thoughts
Lori,
If I could find the words to express the depth of my emotions as a mother myself and cocoon them around you to protect your heart I would. As mothers our bodies house the life we create and that in itself robs us of our greatest jobs when life is cut short by illnesses and unforeseen things as you are experiencing now with your family. Just know that as a mother and a woman my heart bleeds for you and I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and heart over this time of sadness and loss. Rest, grieve, and heal yourself from the inside out and we will all be here when you return and will do what we can to help you.
With sincere thoughts
Missy -
Dear Lori and family, my heart felt prayers for you and yours. I know this will come as little comfort... But your son will rest in the arms of the lord until you meet again. From my family to yours god bless and god speed.
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Dear Lori, Words cannot express the sorrow we all feel for your loss but we are all here praying for yours and your family's recovery. May God bless you and keep you strong. Val
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Dear Lori, I know all your pain from my own experience and I know that you will need a time to overcome all pains. Please be strong, your family need you. You will be in my thought and heart with love.
~Sonja~ -
Dearest Lori,it is at times of tragic circumstance like the one tearing your heart in two that I find no words adequate to convey the care,concern and helplessness that I feel,humbly I offer my heart-held prayers for full physical and emotional recovery for you and for your beloved sons spirit to be guided to healing and harmony with love,many blessings,Yvette
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Dear dear Lori
How I feel your pain. You have made a decision that has placed your tiny little bundle back into the arms of a loving father, where he will be free of pain. You have given your other children a Mother. You may have lost your own life otherwise. You have given your husband his wife. That little spirit will be safe and well. have no fear. He is blessed to be free from his suffering. You have saved all of your family from so much pain. I admire your strength and your courage. Your faith and how you have coped. We are all praying for you.
Lots of Love and light and blessings.
Jan -
My words fail to express the pain I felt upon reading this. I am sorry you and your family are having to bear this.
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Love and Light Your Way!!
You are a Sweet Soul who gives to others and not ask for anything in return. It is difficult to convey in words what I want to say but will try to speak
You have asked us to keep You and Your family in Your prayers which will be done and also-
please take as much time as You need to heal
We are here for You and know that You are a blessing along with the Gift connected to You~
Mind, Body and Soul...The Angels have descended
to be beside You and Your little one~
Know You are not alone and neither is he
The Love You have exudes-Lights a room up
and so does the energy of Jon which the
Angels hold this Blessing in their arms...
Love and Light for You and Your Family
and much love~ Desire~*~
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Lori
My dearest friend!!
You will be in my thoughts and prayers. I am so sorry for all you are dealing with and your little angel will stay in my prayers as well!! Cradled in the arms of our Lord he will remain until you can meet with him again!! If you need me please let me know!!
All my love and prayers friend!!
Shannon -
My prayers and love are with you. You know that I am here for you- If you need anything.. Though I know you prefer the comfort of your family during this time, you are still loved here. Take care honey.
-S -
Dear Lori,
Jon Thomas Lee, what a beautiful name
for the little angel he will be
I'm sure he'll know, who you all are
when this angel's spirit flies free
He will be there, where ever you go
because he has known your heart
He'll comfort you in moments weak
when you feel lost by his depart
The emptiness you're feeling now
will be filled with love
in days to come and years gone by
by little Jon up there above
You'r in my thoughts sweet girl, along with your family. Can't even imagining what you're going through right now. Sending over Dutch hugs.
Titia -
I can't do this..........
.........I think a columne is better ~
Lori is my Sister & Very good Friend......yet I feel soooo weird holding this contest ~
I am at a loss for words of how to express my feelings over this contest.....I would donate points in a heartbeat, had it been anything else except the *death* side of this tragedy which is soooo personal ~
I have plenty of points to donate.....yet I can not believe a *Contest* awarding point has been created for such an event as this ~
I am so sorry to voice my opinion against this sweet intent.....but I am known for my honesty.......I don't think Lori would agree with this either....I think a columne is MUCH better ~
Bear ~ -
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I am so so so sorry to hear of your troubles. You'll be in my thoughts
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My Sweet Lori ~
You are my Spiritual Sister.....your Son is my Spiritual Nephew.....God is the Creator of All of us ~
Rely upon Him, as he knows your sorrow and Heart better than any of us ~
We love you bunches Lori......we All, are touched by what you are going through.....Jon Thomas is already back with His Creator......he is no longer suffering ~
He will meet you when you get to Heaven hun....let your husband know he is also in my thoughts & prayers ~
My oldest Son left for Bootcamp a week ago......sometimes we wonder, why God takes them from us....sometimes we wonder why they decide to leave on their own ~
Just remember one thing......there ARE answers to the many unanswered questions we have......
......in Heaven, we get the chance to understand why....until then, you take care of yourself ~
I just got my first letter from my Son yesterday.....His name is John ~
Rest, and know that Jon, You & your Husband and Family are in Gods' hands now ~
Take comfort there ~
Bear...aka...John Sr ~
~~ X 12
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Dear Lori,
May God eradicate all your sufferings, all your pains, and bless you with infinite strength to stay happy and healthy always. Though I don't know you well, yet the human bond compels my heart to pray for your happiness and peace of mind! May your heart be healed, and soul be enlightened enough to hold you back from falling into despair. May your spirit always shine with hope and peace.....!
Blessings always,
Sophie. -
Oh Lori, I am so sorry! I have not been around much myself. I did not even know you were expecting. I am so so so sorry. I will pray for you all and that your little angel will be in the arms of Jesus and that he will be waiting on you. My daughter is there, perhaps they will play in heavens nursery.
Sending lots of love andhugs -
I do not know you, but even reading of your pain bring tears to my eyes and I am so sorry that you are going through this. You and your family are all in my prayers.
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My eyes tear too as I read this - no one prepares themselves for something like this, yet here you are going through these terrible days knowing what is ahead. From reading your poetry I know this will be your lifeline in the days ahead - writing about this unborn son who you already had grown to love so much. And you are right, you do have to stay strong as the rest of the family do depend so much on you - as they do on any mother. She is the lifeline, the matriarch, the thread that holds all together. Prayers go out to you, may each make this experience a little easier to withstand. Grieving is part of this process, but you will one day be ready to think of little Jon with smiles; and think about being reunited in the future. He willl always be part of you and the family.
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Dear Lori
I just read your letter and I am filled with tears of sorrow and compassion for you and your family. Please know that God has craddled you in His arms and will continue to do so until you are well again. He will comfort your family also. Little Jon Thomas will once again be with His heavenly Father who loves him dearly and will hold him and sing to him in your absence. Jon will be well again in Heaven and one day you all will be reunited. I will keep you all in my prayers. I can relate to your problem also as I spent 6 mos. on my back in bed to try to carry my second son. I could no longer carry him and went into premature labor. He did not live long only 4 hrs and struggled for every breath. This was 36 yrs. ago. Even now think about him and wonder how tall he would be, what color eyes, etc. But I smile as I know he is in God's beautiful Heaven. -
My Dear Lori
I cried as I read your words
feeling my heart ache for the sorrow you hold
So often I ask my God, the reasons for the trama I see around me. I can only think,
"to he who much is given, much is expected". Be blessed for all the other wonders in your life that give you joy, and know only a great woman such as you, could hold this life so close and so well. He needed you as his mom.
There is a book that may aid you. "Why do bad things happen to good people" I found shelter in this when my brother died needlesly at thirty.
Lastly, let me say all infent children, go directly to our Father, to be held in His arms as would you.
He was blessed to be warmed by you
Rick
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My dear Lori, I have not been on much and have just come online to find this, the saddest of news. I can understand somewhat how you feel at this time, knowing you have a child whom you will never see achieve all those dreams you have for them. I still grieve for my darling daughter and the memory I have of having to give birth to her knowing what I knew never really leaves me. And still 4 years on I have difficulty when it comes to writing about it. Just know that I am here for you my dear friend. My prayers are with you, your family and baby Jon. He shall join all those other little Angels in heaven. I am lighting my candle as we speak in honour of you and your beautiful child in the hope that it shall send forth some form of comfort. Love always, Claire xxxxxx
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My dearest sister Lori.
No words can express the heavy heart I feel for you and your family. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this time. You are very loved and the wings of Allpoetry angels are here to lift you in your darkest moments.
Love comes from my heart to you and your family.
Becky
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Peace My Child
Lori I do not know you that well but your lovely face i have seen many time here. I can not imagine the pain of loss, confussion and desperation that you must be feeling at this time. I can only know that God understand and behind all the pain there is a wonder reason that we cannot know at this time.
I will hold you in my prayers and keep you ever in my heart.
Lord Jesus be with this family in their time of loss and give them strength to shine through it all. Help them to place all the pain and sorrow in your hands for You kno what to do with it. Place a hedge of protection around them for they are weak and need you desperately. Protect them in their vulnerability. Annoint them for their journey to recovery. Take this child into your arms and keep him safe with you. In they Great and Holy name I pray. Amen!
*Go with God* my friend,
Valerie
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no words will be able to soothe your pain, my dear sister ...
but please know that the tears that are flowing from my eyes right now spring from deepest compassion and sincere empathy ... your pain is my pain ... I promise you to keep my strength and faith while you go through this dark tunnel, walking next to you and holding my humble candle to make sure that each time yours may flicker, I make sure it doesn't get blown out by the storm of despair ... I will relight it and relight it again and again, should this happen ... and so will many, many angels here on ap and around you ...
I love you very much,
marion -
very sorry, Lori. Thinking of you ♥
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God Be with you, hun
Precius Lord, look unto the circumstances at hand, and deliver them from teh pain they have/will endure. Complications occur Dear Father, but I pray that Your mighty and Powerful hands, rest sweetly upon mother and child, making a way of comfort during this time. You are the Almighty and through You anything is possible, guide the situation through your own will Lord, and bring them the peace, healing, comfort, to deal with the outcome. I pray this in your almighty name.
Amen.
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Hi Sis,
I had wondered what had happened as I haven't seen you around .. well now I know and my heart and everything else goes out to you and your family. I can't pray simply because I don't belive in God, but I give you all the support I can muster and hope you can feel that support, not just from me but from every person here at AP that knows you and loves you as I do.
I don't really know the pain you are suffering, not just the physical but the emotional too, I just hope you can find a way to overcome some of it .. it never goes away you just learn to live with it.
Take care sis and please remember we are all here for you.
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my friend... Hollow words ring with empty echoes that convey but a minimum of the essence that we wish to grant you and your family. Prayers for peace are all we can gift you. May you and your families heart's find the will to believe again.
Dave
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Lori,
I am in tears as I write this to you!! I am so sorry for the pain and anguish that you and your family are going through now. I am so sorry for your loss, but I know too that there is nothing that I could say or do to make things better for you or your family right now. I am here if you need me, I will be praying for you and your family and your beloved son Thomas Lee. You hold a very special place in my heart as a person and a friend. I will miss you, but know when you are ready I have a shoulder to cry on and ears too listen. My prayers are with you all. much love Theresa -
I am so sorry for your family's loss and you are all in my prayers....and I am sorry you have to endure something like this
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Heartbroken.
I am utterly sorry for the awful things that have bestowed upon you and your family! I have a sister that is going through something simular to this.She has cervical cancer and shes pregnant.She has to make the choice of giving it up or losing her own life because of it.I'm terribly sorry for such a tragedy.I'm no christian,but I do believe in God.My prayers are with you and your family.God Bless. -
So Sorry
I am sincerely sorry for your loss my friend. You are definately in my prayers along with your family.
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My darling Lori, this has brought tears to my eyes. You are a wonderful beautiful person and my prayers are with you and your family. We've know each other for quite some time and you have had more then your share of sorrow and misery. My heart aches for you, Lori. Please be comforted in your time of sorrow and rest assured that God will welcome him with open arms.
Love you lil sis, I'm here for you.
Your big brother,
Charley -
I am so sorry for the pain you are going through. we will be praying for you and your family. I pray that God will surround you with comfort during your time of sorrow. Love ya, Tracy
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My dearest please know that you are in my prayers and meditations. Also know that we are here for you. Take the time that is needed to begin to heal. I cannot fathom your feelings right now but I do know the pain of loss. I ask that the God of All, great and small sends His comforting angels in your time of bereavement.
Much Love & Many Blessings ♥
Renee
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You and your family will be in my prayers.
Stay strong, be well, and God bless. <3 -
Lori I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers
and send my rays of strength your way.
Blessings to all
Frozentearz -
I am praying for you and your family during this difficult time.
Love,
Susie -
My heart is out to you
I think you might like a poem I wrote called Sarahs song.It is on my page. -
My breaking heart to yours
I have walked where you now go - it is not easy
there is no getting over it - it just gets easier to deal with as time goes by.
B D -
Prayers are well on the wing. God bless you & yours, Lady. We'll be here when you're ready, Sweetie...if only to hold your hand in silence. May your grief be bearable. What selfless, timeless love.
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I am so very sorry to hear about what you have been going through. You and your family will be in my prayers, and the prayers of my husband.
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I am so sory for the pain that has stricken you and your family's life. No words can say enough, but I will light a candle for strength for you. May you find the peace you need in this deeply sad time.
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My Sweet Sis....
I am so very sorry for you and your wonderful family. We miss you but please know that we are all thinking of you and praying for you and that when you are ready to talk we are here to listen or just be here for hugs....
LOve ya, Sis and I will tell my group of your need for their prayers....
Biggest hugs and my shoulder for you in friendship and love
Sis Lynda
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I have you in my prayers and hold you in the grace of the Light.
Love, Tom B. -
Lori,
I am so sorry to hear about all this. I can't imagine the pain and sorrow you must be feeling having to go through it all. I hope the surgery goes well and your able to recover from it quickly. I know the rest will take time.
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Take care.
Greg -
Lori, you and your family will be in my prayers.
I am so sorry to hear this.
Gaylene
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Once Written
I am new on this site but once wrote the following poem although I have never lost a child. I do not know the reason that I was inspired to write it but hope that it was because it will somehow comfort you.
Stars
I like to think the stars are the infants
who don't cry at birth,
still born to hang luminous in the sky,
too bright for this dark world,
too silver to leave here,
too close to the heart of God,
loaned briefly to us
to remind us to look up.
(c)--CC -
With a lump in my throat I say I'm so sorry for this terrible lost, we were just talking about this new baby and how much you were looking forward, this is very sad news all we can do is let it go to God's hands he knows all best I will keep you and your loving family in my prayers
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Lori I just logged in to find your message and my heart is broken for you, I know the pain first hand and also know that no words can ease the pain of such loss. My prayers, my thoughts and my love I send to you and when my tears dry I will try and pen you something for your little one. All my love, Lori, please take care and heal. Hugs, Bunny
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Lori, God bless you and yours, this is sad news indeed. I pray for you dear, and little Jon, may He sit at the right hand of God...
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Words aren't enough, not to soothe nor to express; so instead I send my love to you and pray that it warms you, even just a little. You and your family are in my thoughts. Laura x
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Thank you so much for your sweet words, Laura. It means more than you know.
~Lori
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I shant say a word. You and your family is in my prayers Lori..God bless friend.
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Thank you, Gary, for keeping my family in your prayers. Love ya darling.
~Lori
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I am in tears i am so sorry. I know how it feels to have your heart ripped out. I wish you strength to get through this and many blessing to you. As a mother who has lost a baby I am sending you gentle hugs and lots of love.
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Lori, I'm terribly sorry for your loss, my thoughts and prayers are with you, in this great time of sorrow.
May the lord hold your hand, and his, and guide you through this horrific time. Hugs!
Lissa -
Lori,
Their are truly no words adequate enough to express the feeling of your impending loss. Unfortunately, I know this from first hand experience. Only with time will the heavy air of grief begin to rise allowing healing to begin...in your own time. For now, just breathe...
You and your family have my prayers and sympathy, ~Tia -
I am so very sorry
I do not know you but to loose a child is a heart wrenching pain. I will keep you in my prayers.
God Bless
Tammy -
Dear lori, so very sorry, my heart cries
You are in my prayers always Dove
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Lori,
I know as much as we all need support in times as this I too, know that words just don't seem to ever be enough. Please knowm as I sit here with tears falling, for I can feel the deep of pain within, you have my deepest and most sincere sympathy. I will certainly be keeping you, your son and your entire family in my prayers. I shall light a candle and send much love, light and healing as possible.
Be Blessed sweet Lori
Love and Loght
Bel -
Lori.....
I am very sorry to hear about the things you're going through..... I pray that all for you comes out ok, and may God bless you and protect you and yours from all harm..... Be blessed sweet girl..... Your friend, AngelicMistress...Tanya *hug*
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I am so sad for you and your family...
Please allow us to mentally send our love and hugs and we can certainly pray for you, too. We lost a baby in our family, too... a stillborn baby girl, full term. It is just the saddest thing! Breaks your heart, it does! Your baby will be there for you when your time comes to go to Heaven. I hope to see our little granddaughter... if I am good enough to reach where she will be, for I know she is one of God's best angels. My love and best prayers for you, our precious poet.
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I can't even begin to imagine the devastation you are feeling.
"so I choose to give him back to the Lord so that he may rest and know peace"
those words say it all... selfless and loving.
yes I will pray for you and yours.
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Dear Lori,
I am so sorry. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
Joyce
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