Just When Life Seems Boring, a Cop Throws Himself Through the Door!

Life seems boring until you get into a situation requiring a cop to throw himself through a door for you.

This was one of those situations that only seems to happen to me. It was exciting, funny, and completely embarrassing all at the same time.

I just went out to lunch. Ate and realized nature was calling that wonderful IBS kind of way, so I headed for their bathroom. Got the job done, washed my hands, gathered my belongings, and went to leave. This is when I realize the one person bathroom had a very broken door. With a very broken lock.

It was obvious right away that the situation was bad. I spent ten minutes trying to get the door open. Then I stepped back and looked at my surroundings. I was now in a small one person bathroom with no windows and a ventilation system that wasn't doing its job. The only air was coming in from under the bathroom door. I kept my head on straight and got my cell phone out of my monster sized purse. I called work. I explained to the cashier that I was trapped in the bathroom at the restaurant and no one could hear me banging or yelling since the bathroom was tucked away in the back. Someone had to call the place and alert them to the fact that I was in need of some assistance.

A few minutes later I hear a tap on the door. "Hello?"

"Hi! I can't get the door unlocked, could you help me out?"

Begin the madness.

It didn't take long for me to realize there was a large amount of stupid on the other side of this bathroom door. The employees were willing to go to the ends of the Earth to get me out of there. We tried lifting the door, it didn't work. The key was used, but it just kept turning and didn't unlock the door. One guy suggested climbing in through the drop ceiling. Two others said they wanted to get together and ram the door. It was the manager who told them no. All these plans would mess up the ceiling and wall as well as the doorway.

So he calls 911.

At this point, I didn't know he'd called 911. I just realized there was a whole lot of stupid out there and I had to take control and get this ball moving or I was going to have to pay rent.

One guy finally says, "Hey, you work at -----, don't you?"

"Yes."

"Let's call them back and see if someone can come over with an AK47 or something!"

"Wait! Hold it! Bad idea! I'm on the other side of this door, you know!"

"But it could work!"

"If we want me dead, sure."

And enter the cop about 20 minutes later.

"Hey! The police are here!"

"Are you shitting me?"

"No, ma'am." That was the cop.

"Oh. In that case. I have a CCL and there is a revolver in my purse. Just letting you know."

"Thank you. Leave it there."

"Wasn't planning on taking it out."

In NC, if you have a cop come up to you you have to alert them to your CCL status and if you are concealing. I figured it was best to tell him before we met face to face.

So the whole lot of stupid continues and I again decide matters need to be dealt with from my side. So once again I take a look at my surroundings and try to figure out what can be used to get me out of this room. Nothing. Then I remembered. I am always heavily armed in some manner. Today I happened to not just have a gun, but two knives. I was carrying my Kershaw Blur that I didn't trust for this kind of work. The other was my big, thick, trusty Columbia River Knife and Tool Desert Cruiser. And the door hinges were on my side.

I popped the knife out and got to work on those hinges. The first one popped out after using the blade to pry it out and then using the handle to hammer it the rest of the way out. The cop yells through the door, "Are you taking the hinges off?"

"Yup."

"What the hell have you got in there?"

"A knife. It just happens to make a real good hammer."

"Keep doing what you're doing!"

The second hinge popped out much the same way as the first. It was the third that did me in. It was wedged in so tight that it chewed that knife up and spit it out. The cop passed me his Leathermen tool in an attempt to keep going, but it, too, gave in to the door hinge.

I passed his tool back out and got to the side. He was now yelling at the manager that I had been trapped in there for well over an hour now with no windows and no ventilation. "The door is coming down!"

I got ready and moved aside. With two hits the biggest cop I've ever seen flew through the door, across the bathroom, and into the far wall. With it, he took half the ceiling, broke the door in half, ripped off the doorway edging, and cracked the wall. And there I stood cowering in the corner hugging my purse and holding my poor, dead knife.

Thankfully, the two missing hinges made it so the door gave in easily and caused no injury to the officer.

I high tailed it out of there. The manager admitted the door has been broken for some time and "someone's coming to fix it tomorrow."

"I bet," says the cop. LOL! I have no idea what happened after that.

So I get back to work where I find out that it was the Pres. that had called for help. Apparently, the cashier was doing a gun sale, and the Pres. and senior sales guy were at the counter. She told them I needed someone to call to let them know I was in there. So he ran to his office and got the number, then had to convince the guy he wasn't kidding. When I'd been gone another 20 minutes after he called them, he called 911, which is why the cops got there so fast. Two calls had come in around the same time for this same problem.

Needless to say, that was the last time I'll be having lunch there.

No I didn't get anything free out of this situation. And I am rather proud of myself for keeping my head through all of this. I was really calm the entire time and never panicked. Go me! LOL!