ORIGINALLY AN ENTRY TO THE "NEW LONG FORMS CONTEST"
(Gold trophy winner)
I was messing around one day, taking the basic “English sonnet” form, manipulating it to take a falling rhythm, a rhythm that would allow me to extend the range of words that could be used at the end of lines. To do this I simply reduced the number of syllables in each line from ten to nine, arranged iamb-iamb-iamb-amphibrach . The conventional final iambic pentameter of a sonnet means that you have to end each line on a stressed syllable. Using a final amphibrach means that a poet can end on an unstressed syllable, giving the opportunity to end with present and past participles, for example. Have a look at the poem below, and at the stresses in three of the lines, and you will see what I mean:
"I heard, just as the night was falling,
Before the peace of dusk was broken,
My long-dead darling’s spirit calling."
...but remember to take that as a light touch, not as a heavily-imposed beat.
I posted my first two poems using this structure on AP [ allpoetry.com/
The previous two I posted are arranged, like English sonnets, in three quatrains and a couplet. The one below, because of the gothic narrative I want to tell, sits better in an octave and sestet, like an Italian sonnet. The rhyming scheme is as per the English, however.
I heard, just as the night was falling,
Before the peace of dusk was broken,
My long-dead darling’s spirit calling;
And though no word to me was spoken,
Nor any loving gesture tendered,
I fell upon my knees before her
And, to her chilly touch surrendered,
Began, with deep sighs, to implore her:
“Please bide with me one evening longer;
Though now you are no more than shadow,
The moonlight makes your presence stronger!”
She vanished then across the meadow.
Today she’ll come with Neptune’s daughters
To beckon me beneath dark waters…
Adding your comment:
). I am glad you approve of my use of amphibrachs.
thanks!
