Sometimes when we have children, we end up with much heartache. We think we raise our children right, we teach them about love, honor, trust, honesty and the like and send them off into the world and think the world will take care of them where we left off but that's not always true.
We teach them the value of friendship and compassion towards their fellow man. We also teach them to be themselves and stand up for themselves and not take any crap if they think they're right.
We teach them to treat people like they would like to be treated. To love people and treat them with respect, to turn the other cheek if they have been wronged, to forgive and forget but in all of this, don't lose who you are and don't let people take advantage of you.
Sometimes during this though, you do get hurt and you do get led astray and you do get taken advantage of greatly. I guess that's where the key to compassion comes in.
I wasn't the perfect mother, far from it and I certainly made my share of mistakes along the way. I always did the best I could for all three of my children, or at least what I thought was the best at the time.
There were times when we didn't have alot and just barely was able to make ends meet but I kept on plugging along because I knew that somehow we would get through anything life threw our way.
I look at my children now and they aren't really children anymore, they are adults, well two of them are, my daughter is well on her way, she just turned 16 this past weekend.
I look at my oldest son who is now 28 and in some ways I am so proud of him and in others, I wonder why he didn't get farther than he has in life. Don't get me wrong, I'm not disappointed, I'm just kind of worried. He is as I said 28 years old, has 4 children, has been married and divorced and right now he is about to be living on the streets and that's really very sad to me.
He was a very intelligent child, got straight A's in school, very good looking, was so artistic and had a promising life in front of him. I don't quite know what happened. At one point in time he was doing very well for himself, had a great job and was holding his life together very well.
Son number 2 was also very smart, very good looking, very head strong and determined and not as good in school but very street smart. He made some very bad choices in his early adulthood and ended up doing a few stints in prison.
He is out now from the last time for the last 2 months. He got out, spent a few weeks in Ohio, came here to California to visit with me and then went back to Ohio. His main objective in returning to Ohio was to be a father to his youngest son that he never got to be because of the bad choices he made in his life. He has been back there for the past month and well, he is ready to come back to California. He is loving being the father he wants and needs to be but the rest of life is so screwed up that he needs to make some changes. Enough about that for now, that is another story.
My daughter, geesh, where do I begin? All I can say for her is that I want better things in her life for her. I want her to finish school and find a guy really worthy of her. She has a boyfriend right now that is such an ass. I try to tell her that some behaviors just aren't right and she doesn't have to settle for them, she doesn't have to put up with the things I did with her father because some things just aren't right and I hope she will eventually listen.
This brings me to my point here. There are so many decisions in life to be made, so many choices and yes, we are allowed to make mistakes but how many times do we have to make the same mistakes? You would think if you keep making the same choice and the same mistake with the same end results that you would realise after awhile that that choice is the wrong one. If you want positive results, you have to go in the opposite direction and make the opposite choices.
But I guess we all have to learn from our mistakes, right? Doesn't mean that it makes it any easier to be me, MOM, and have to look on while you see your children hurting and struggling.
In closing, I guess I just ask myself and ask you, is there anything wrong with wanting more for your children? Have I done and taught them everything I possibly could have? Do they think since they are older that you tell them things just to hear yourself talk?Don't they believe YET that you tell them things because you have probably neen there, done that and you know the ending results of such choices? Not like we would ever know! Ha! Geesh, if I could peel their heads open and shove all the knowledge I have in me inside of their own heads they would probably have it made. Am I so wrong in wanting to give them the answers anyways? God, I really need to quit here. It's late and I'm tired and this isn't going to help them anyways, but just maybe it will help me. LOL
Ok, I guess I've said enough in the attempt to try to clear my head a little bit. I just get so frustrated sometimes
Be Well and Be Blessed
Adding your comment:
Sorry to hear you are struggling. Just know that you are in my thoughts and prayers and I LOVE YOU!
I wish you all the best and I think you know my prayers are always with you.
Wiping up, when shit happens and always choose your friends by heart,rather then what society
... lol. so i can't make a comment from a mother's point of view.
