pieces...[III]

the needle...it went in...
plunging in my flesh,piercing through,unstoppable,untamed,this wild object conquering...
my ear.
ADRENALIN! don't fear the rush,don't fight the feeling,
will it make more sens when i wake up ?

i like piercings...i do them myself...it all started about a year ago...back then i was at this point of my life where i really needed to feel something new,absolutely new,something overwhelming that could maybe wake me up from the apathy i was slowly drowning into...
so i thought that if i tried myself,on my own,i could at least control parts of what I'll do and ear rings,well,i like...
so with a simple needle and an apple i managed to do miracles...not aesthetic miracles,no...they were more of self discovery miracles...something i just had to do to understand my own body,to see how far i could go in handling physical pain...
and i do handle it! yeah it seems I'm pretty good at making holes...but there are holes in my spirit that aren't pierced by sawing needles...and i can't fill them with jewelry or shiny stuff that could or could not make them look good...

maybe i just need to feel alive...maybe my mind went so far off reality these past years that i needed drastic measures to come back...
now it's like a ritual...every time I'm in need of hitting the ground...and it's working for now...I'm not afraid of what might come next,i just don't want to loose control in my weird attempt to gain it...