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pieces...[I]

this is mainly about me...but you might find yourself or bits of it here...and there's a lot of "...",that's for unfinished business...like most of my life...
there's this one time i read somewhere about the characteristics of my name or maybe it was about my astrological sign...I'm not really sure but anyways the whole point was that i don't finish what I've started...or maybe that's what I've come to think after a while...after a great selection of "..."...
or maybe i don't care enough...about anything...
here's a thought : why do you find yourself taking care of the whole world's problems but don't really focus on yourself ? sometimes i think of atlas...the titan that carried the world on his shoulders...but I'm not like that...or maybe i am...or maybe I'm just caring for ppl coz I'm afraid of myself...or maybe i don't...
on AP i found myself...there's ppl here who really ask the right question,they dare to feel,they dare expressing it...and i love the fact that I'm not judged here...maybe i haven't been appreciated...or maybe i have but not the way i would want it to be...there's freedom here that lacked in my life for a long while...so in a way this is an expression of my gratitude to all of you...the ppl, the poets...
you're not afraid to say it how it is...there is not fear around here there's just some preoccupation maybe...a little bit of selfeawarness that gets you to think and more importantly to feel...coz where i come from it's really wrong to feel it's like a cancer,smtg taboo...maybe that's why i felt different...my family ? they try to understand but they cant I'm sure of it...they don't ask they just hide...i can't hide anymore...too much at risk...i just need to know and experience and try and of course FEEL...
or maybe I'm just pretending...maybe I'm only a coward and I'm running away from responsibilities...
but I'm pretty sure I'm not...and AP helped me...a lot
thank you all
and i know there's a lot of maybes in all this
and maybe it's just a load of crap I'm just putting down to get better
but if i get some comments about this I'll be certain it's not just another "coups dans l'eau"
fewwww i feel a lot better now plz just give me your opinions likle they are.
don't sugar coat it
i HAVE to get over the confusion
thanks

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  • Nour Beydoun
    February 20, 2006
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    I agree with Zely, afterall that girl has always been there to listen to whatever I have to say, no matter how bad or silly it was.. AllPo has been here too.. PMIL as well.. We're all here for you.. Let your words flow.. Smoother than ever.. Nevermind style, form or even meaning.. We're poets, we're allowed everything the world isn't.. Spread your wings and paint the sky..
    Peace


  • sarajevo
    February 17, 2006
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    you're right! what's the fun in knowing everything ? where's the passion if there's nothing to be passionate about ?...
    this is a point and i totally agree with you but you must understand that i need answers also...it's an essential need i have to fulfill in order to keep on going in my "self-discovery" quest
    but as more answers arrive there will be more questions poppoing up and as you said that's the beauty of it! there is no stopping there no Truth with the fancy big T but there's the journey towards it and everything that comes along
    thanks for reminding me about that
    thanks for all your comments
    ~serge


  • zeltria
    February 17, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I'll bet that you do. It's always healthy to unload all of the negative feelings and doubts that lay heavy on our minds. And this is a community that offers a lot of support and understanding because of the great diversity of poeple. But like everywhere, there is always a group that will try to set you down.
    As a Lebanese, I know where you are coming from with the whole taboo thing; even more so because I'm a girl. Society gives you more freedom and understanding than me. The best way is to try to compramise as little as possible so that it would leave you alone while you live your own life!
    And to be honest, I'm not sure why you are complaining that you don't know yourself well. What would life be without the journey of self-discovery. I don't want to be a hundred percent sure of evrything. I want to be changed and moulded as life goes on. I won't to retain my flexibility. But good luck in your quest!

  • sarajevo
    February 13, 2006
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    yeah eventually they will
    but (i know there's always buts) what if i cant wait sometimes ? what if it's not about waiting it's about finding ?
    we've been through this once remember ?
    but i guess we'll keep pondering for a while and only time will tell...
    thanks for your comment rana thanks for all your comments
    love ya !!


  • Apsinthion
    February 13, 2006
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    i'm sure u're not pretending and i'm even more sure that u're not a coward... u just have so many questions, so many expectations, so many things u want to.."feel" that sometimes, ur mind gets out of control (correct me if i'm wrong) ... that's how i see it..so much feelings in here, and i really find myself in ur words..

    don't look 4 answers... just wait for them to come..and they will...eventually
    rana (K)

1 - 5 of 5