So Im sure u have seen the bulliten travling all over myspace??? And on my profile page my shout out of beward on this jerk that has nothing better to do than ruin lifes!!! So here im letteing go of steam!!!
(trying to keep from cutting again! Im so happy I have started back and I already have 45 cuts over this so im trying another resource! writeing it out!)
(this above is the jerk!!)
MY LIFE WAS PERFECT!!! ABSOLUTLY PERFECT.... And then I opened up my heart to someone I THOUGHT I could trust! Ppbbbttthhh! (now im cutting again) He was my first real love in the whole wide world and then he DESTROYED MY HEART .... He couldnt have hurt me worst if he had tryed! I tried to committ suicide then he dissappeared till here recently... I gave him friendship a piece of my heart once again! (STUPID ME) I tryed to help his DRUG INFECTED LIFE!! (But drugs were always soo damn important) still are... say he is going to rehab BULLSHIT dont believe it! And if he did when he gets back he is dating bobbys sister... And she is aparntly fucked up accordng to him and so he will just get back on it with her... IM SURE. I should have relized why he only has ONE frined... James. BECUZ EVERYONE ELSE KNOWS WHAT HE'S ABOUT!!! But I went out of my way for him... I felt sorry for him so I gave him a girl hopping they would like each other and no longer would he have to be lonly!! But he was overly excited bout it and i couldnt figure out why... now I see! She was a back door... A back door into oour relationship... (and i was apparently the only gurl he could ever love he was pretty damn sure of that!) So I supposse destorying our family and our relationship would bring me back to him... (or at least that is what he thought!!) HE DESTROYED A BABYS LIFE!!! Cuz she will never know bobbys family now! She will never have Bobbys mom for a grandmother... and all that jazz! IT will ner be the same ever again! And if u could have only seen how cute it was to watch bobbys mom laugh and play with her... Talking in baby voices and the big huge smile on jaydies face!! That will never be again! And if only I could turn back time all the way to the party when I finally first saw him agan and he insited we talk... I would have just looked at him and said NO... Becuz you can NEVER change... No matter how much I am there for you, no matter how much I do for you... You will bring me down! (LIKE HE ALWAYS HAS!!) You will stab me in the back U get some pleasure out of hurting people that do not deserve it! .... I wish I would have... I wish it would have stopped right there.. But no kind hearted me thought... Maybe he has come around maybe he dose reallly want a friendship! PPPPBBBTTHHH But what can I do now... HA I STILL LAUGH AT WHAT HE SAID TO ME.. "I will never hurt youlike I did!"... uh huh what the fuck ever... But I understand what it ment now.. "I will never hurt you like that, I will hurt you worst!" I mean common he got with chasity and told her I wanted him and all this bullshit (IM FUCKING MARRIED!!) My life was perfect!!! Then sent IM's to bobbys mom saying I hated them and all that bullshit OMFG.... So now my life is perfect without bobbys famliy! Dont get me wrong he DESTROYED that bridge... There is nothing between us and that family ANYMORE!! ITS GONE! But me and bobby are still strong see we know the truth and we know that all we need to be happy is each other but IT SUX! Its hard and its sad... Jaydie has lost HALF of her family!! HALF!!! and bobby lost EVERYTHING HE GREW UP WITH!! AND EVERYPERSON!!! It made me wanna leave so bobby could have it all back but he dosnt want it... Not at all. He said the true casey will come out.. And I believe that... HE ALWAYS DID! And one day reality will slap them and they will see how fucking stupid this is and what they lost! But it will never go back.. NOw al me and bobby and jaydie has left is my side of the family and THEY ALL HATE CASEY WITH A FUCKING PASSION... (CUZ THEY KNOW THE EAL HIM) Its sad when his own grandmother will tell u how he really is huh?? But what is done is really DONE! and it can never change! He will go on dump her and get fucked up... But we have to live with what he has done!!! And so will they! But I guess its okay.... Me and Bobby r wonderful and my family rocks!!! So its all good! We have them and I guess thats all we need! Im cool with it they r there for us and they take care of us! So im happy! And bobby isnt mad nor sad he is fine with it all.... so we will move on.. and karma will eat him alive!!! Cuz it always comes 10 times its fold.... So what he has comingIs gonna SUCK SOME SERIOUS ASS!!!! (prolly when my bro finds out what he has done is when he will recieve his karma lol) Big mean mother fucker lol.... I would wanna piss him off and he ALREADY wants a piece of casey! So CASEY ENJOY WHATS COMING TO U FOR ALL THE BAD U HAVE DONE AND HOPE U LOVE LIVING WITH THE FACTTHAT YOU RUIND A 3 MONTH OLD BABYS GIRLS LIFE!! Not to menchin the BEST friend u did and owould have ever had! GOOD JOB!
He wanted meback so he tryed 2 ruin mymarrige and mylife he screwed alot of stuff up!PLZ read I need advice!
Add a comment
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
-
o...k.... im sry but im confused whose casey, and how has he ruin ur babies life...
-
good
I have experience what you are going through. I am sorry it has happen to you. I just know punishing you by cutting is playing into his hands. If you cut to much you child will not have you? Then what?
His poison won not the beautiful caring loving you! You see you use cutting - I used eatting. Not the same you may say, well I am 486 lbs and I am committed in losing this weight.
I have had to forgive all those who have hurt me and forgive myself for all the ways I hurt others and myself. I am learning to love me enough not to hurt myself anymore.
I am willing to give me a life without pain. I ask you to commit to the same. Your child needs you all of you!
She coos, loves, and warms up your whole being. Stop cutting for her and prayfully she will never begin cutting.
You can do it for you and her - I know you can. That is where your focus should be and let this mean, not feeling man stew in his own juice.
When you make it you then can say - I made it and he will not bring me down again. My child keeps me up and happy.
The good Lord is good and He is blessing you - count them.
Thanks for sharing! I am going to give you an applaus because you opened up and shared your heart. That how change starts and now you can stand Tall as you are a Winner and so is your child. She has you doesn't she - that proves she is a winner.
Merry Christmas
Dawn -
I'm so sorry sweet heart.
-
you are welcome i am glad i could help out a lot! i loose my self control too but i find something to make it allright. always know what what he did wasnt your fault it was HIS and you shouldnt punsih yourself by what HE did. you are so welcome!!!!!
-
I'm really sorry. I wish I could give you advice, but I don't have a clue what to say. Can I ask you a question? What do you mean by "cutting up?" I don't understand that. Anyway, I'm sorry that I can't help. The only thing I can do is pray that you get bettter and he stops hurting you like he is. God Bless
-
Thjank u so much i know cutting isnt the awnser thats why its been 2 yr since ihad done it I learned the lesson once now im laenring it again i was so anger and lost my self control.. I would never hurt anyone else but somthime feel i need to punish myself and its not my fualt .... Well cuttin is i mean im doing over somthing i should be.. But i realy appreshiate u taking time out to read thsi and for giving me advice it means so much and if u onhly knew how much u helped! tahnk u so dearly!!
-
thanks u so much for caring and takeing time out ot read this is helps so much! And U dont know how much I aprishiate this! thatnk u so much!
Edited on Dec 08, 3:30 p.m. because ''. -
I can kind of relate to this but not too much. I have cutted before though. It ISNT the answer. I know he hurt you and your baby and ruined your once perfect life and all. . .but you can deal with it other ways. Maybe go to counsling and talk about it or spend more time with your baby and watch her laugh and smile and it might make you feel better. It only hurts you and especially your baby more if you hurt yourself. it may not seem like it but its true! same here if ya ever wanna talk IM me. keep your hopes up and dreams and never let ANYONE take you down. Just get back up!
-
I cant totally say that I really relate to this but I no wut you're saying and feeling. My step dad sexually and physically abused me and had caused me to try and kill myself, and cut myself. I hate him and only recently have I finally gotten away. He caused me not to trust anyone and he ruined my life. Thank you for your comment on my page and I will most definately get rid of my ex. Not even friends anymore. My heart cant take it... im not that strong as it is either. Thanks.
-
I am not really sure that I can really relate to this, though I know that my mom has gone through alot of things like this with my step dad so I know through that, and other than that I can say that I do cutt myself and I am too trying to stop. I would love to help and support in anyway that I can. I am very glad that you are trying to reach out instead of hurting yourself and your daughter more. If you ever want to talk just IM me. I will get back to you as soon as I can. I hope that you are doing better now than when you wrote this. Keep your chin up.
Rivkah
Adding your comment:
1 - 10 of 10
