I keep having rude awakenings...
I had to watch you cry
Like rain dripping off steel magnolias, pouring out silent screams and creating a puddle...a flood..of emotion. I had to watch, over and over as you let it go and held on to reality, falling a p a r t - and I, mad at myself for disbelief and ignorance, stood motionless and lost, weighed down by that uncomfortable feeling of ~feeling~
Over and over, replaying in my mind - and in my life.
And once those tears came, I only then let it sink in that it was real and that there was no turning back.
If tears could build a stairway to heaven, you'd climb right up and bring them* back down..but...you can't...Maybe that truth is the thorn embedded in your heart. I could say I felt the same, but to you, it would mean NOTHING. And I wish I could just take you in my arms and remind you that I am here, remind me that you are here...but that was when everything was tangible- now, ~you aren't even real~.
Like lying to the Law of Contradiction, whenever i reach for you, all I grasp is the wind. the same lonely wind that bit your fingertips as you too reached out for something better the night the world rained, cried, and you cried with it.
Please, God!! NOT AGAIN!! Do you hear me...?!? Not again , not again, not yet...please...?
"Though you're still with me, I've been alone all along"
*A tribute to 2 special people that my friends(<--this is mostly to them) and i have lost...and hoping not to make it 3
R.I.P ♥
~sui generis777~
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