Sincerely, Me (Part 1)

!
X

   Hello, remember me? Your conscience, your mind, your inner voice before it is distorted by society's influence, and any liquid emotion.    Untouched    
        Last time i saw you you were so joyful and confident and wild and free. Right? Or was that just another "phase" ? What happened? You keep saying you don't know. I think you do. See- a good example right there of a distorted caked-over thought with doubting and denial's messy fingerprints all over it! Oh, wow! Sometimes i just sit back and laugh at you, or rather with you for that kind of humor isn't mockery, but all i can do, a good way to make your point with the flat of the blade rather than the sharp side. See? You need to come back! Snap out of your comatose...

       " And If I could teach the world to be..
I'd teach them all to be something just like me.
Frustrated, bitter, depressing.
Perfect - As if my wings were like yours
But I'm falling down." (Dead Poetic)

            I understand there is some glory to being depressed 24/7 But the fact that you let it go so far...too far...maybe...yes...too far...Is that why you cannot let it go and get a grip? Or is it an excuse? Is there more? I don't know I don't know. Ugh...Is it that your eyes have been forced open by the human condition and that you can't stand what you see. But closing your eyes would be like apathetically ignoring reality. So, you leave them open. Tired. Stinging. ..etc etc etc...too fixed on reality's confusion to let it go with a stream of tears. Until it becomes faded- like a blank stare. You disgust me sometimes.
      You often say " Wouldn't it be useful to die temporarily. I want to" but you don't stop there either. God! knock off the suicidal thoughts already! And you say you're so fed up you feel like beating yourself up (cuz God hasn't enough already ) yelling "STOP IT STOP IT
WHY CANT YOU..." blah blah blah ETC...ETC...ETC...(enough already!!) ( ) then you really get frustrated when you do that cuz it's almost like self contradiction- ("Why can't you...?!" "cuz you keep yelling @ me!!" Why would i do that?" "cuz..." see it's like an endless circle!! You hate yourself for hating yourself...huh brilliant plan B... )
          And what do you plan on doing next? What? You're gonna ask me that?? *sigh* See? ~You Are Fallen~  See? many look but do they see?
Oh what a burden living is! yet you love it, don't you?. Bittersweet Life, sing me to sleep...
      See? And the reason you're posting this is cuz you dream of somebody who'll understand you. Newsflash:: not gonna happen. It hasn't before It won't now, so "Dream On, Dream On" Goodnight, Goodnight. Sunrise, sunset...
                       
       
                                        Sincerely, Me
                                           
                                            ~sui geneirs777~
.............................................................
"As your bony fingers close around me
Long and spindly
Death becomes me
Heaven can you see what I see

Hey you pale and sickly child
You're death and living reconciled
Been walking home a crooked mile

Paying debt to karma
You party for a living
What you take won't kill you
But careful what you're giving

There's no time for hesitating
Pain is ready, pain is waiting
Primed to do it's educating

Unwanted, uninvited kin
It creeps beneath your crawling skin
It lives without it lives within you

Feel the fever coming
You're shaking and twitching

You can scratch all over
But that won't stop you itching

Can you feel a little love
Can you feel a little love

Dream on dream on

Blame it on your karmic curse
Oh shame upon the universe
It knows its lines
It's well rehearsed

It sucked you in, it dragged you down
To where there is no hallowed ground
Where holiness is never found

Paying debt to karma
You party for a living
What you take won't kill you
But careful what you're giving

Can you feel a little love
Can you feel a little love

Dream on dream on"

~Depeche Mode~ Dream On~