I resolve no longer to come to you with my problems.
I resolve no longer to come to you with my problems. You see them as complaining and not just a need to vent my frustration.
I resolve no longer to let you see how much my body hurts. You see it as weakness and age and not as a condition of the disease. I also resolve to stay on the diet, because deep down, under the comments about water retention, I know you really do care. And, the medication, but only because of you.
I resolve not to complain about the injustices of my life; you only see them as complaining, and never take my side, anyway.
I resolve to cut back on my singing and playing, as you do not seem to be able to handle the fact I can. I know you would like to be able to do both as well as I do, but you disdain the long years it takes to get there.
I resolve to quit playing the music I like, whether on the piano or the radio because you say I listen to it too much. I will just keep it to myself.
I resolve to dummy up my language as you think it is pretentious. I am proud of my education and bitterly resent the fact that you belittle it.
I resolve to try to be a better homemaker, although you did not marry Susie Homemaker and I hate cleaning house.
I resolve to keep my interests to myself when they do not interest you, as you seem to think they are a waste of time. I will only profess interest in your interests. That way at least one of us will be happy.
I resolve to cut back on my writing. As it is unpublishable, there is no monetary value to it and must be a waste of my time. Forget that I love to do it, and do it for myself and the few who enjoy the stories. You have deemed it unworthwhile.
I resolve to curtail my poetry. Again, a waste of time. You do not understand it, so it must be meaningless. Only those on the same intellectual level as I am will understand it. Let us not even consider the cathartic value it has on me. When I write, I do not need meds. However, you do not like the meds either.
I resolve to hold out until the youngest child is gone. Then I suppose that a choice will need to be made. Do I continue to live my life the way you see fit, or decide that I cannot and make other arrangements?
Do you understand how hard it is to live with black and white when you only see in colour? To you I am just another child who needs your guidance and values. Well, I am an individual with needs and desires that you cannot fill, because you do not understand them. I have given you twenty-six years. I think it only fair that you accept the fact that I am not you, and treat me as you would another adult. Is that asking too much?
Something that has bothered me for quite a while. Last night just brought it boiling to the surface once more.
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Twenty six years, you have me by one,
Dear friend I must tell you,
its supposed to be fun
One sided systems divided by two?
twenty four hours only you wear those shoes.
Milleniums come, and parsecs they go
never discard the things that you know
the writings you are, this feeling I get
three quarter stepped sevenths begin with a cleff.
play on, sister!
Be,
all that you can be,
you can do it~
in your body!
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Thank you for reading and commenting. And it is not really so much a matter of good or bad, it is the pedantic mindset that says there are only two paths and nothing inbetween. And usually, it is HIS path. I have noticed that this seems to be a guy thing, but by no means exclusively male, nor does it apply to all men. There are women like this, just not a much in my circles. Ah, well, variety is the spice of life, so even those with no variety or spice are needed to make the rest of us notice. Again, thank you.
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A great piece you wrote here. I like your ending so much. The line said so much about so many people that are not really open for new facts. Do you understand how hard it is to live with black and white when you only see in colour? I think to many people living with the idea of good and bad and there's no in between. There is a big grey side on both good and bad. I am glad that you comment on my page so I was able to take a look at yours. But coming friday I here for two weeks, so I was not yet so long here Thank you anyway very much for that Herman
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Ha! Not mine. He just tells me to stop complaining. The invisible thing is handy though. I have gotten out of more things by being invisible. It does rankle at times.
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Well there is light at the end of the rainbow LOL I just thought that without realizing that it makes no sense.
Anyway. Eventually you go from suppressed to invisible, which is great. I'm not here so nothing bothers me.
It helps to get a job; when the boss -yet another man -gives you a hard day you should see how they rally to your defense.
Remember to do one thing for you everyday
and non illegitinium burundi -
I lost my humour long ago. Now I just exist. I suppose that is the role of a woman, to lose her identity amidst the identities she becomes to those around her. And these listed are valid demands made by my "loved ones". No wonder so many women commit suicide. Thank you for reading. And understanding.
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This piece is quite moving and also disturbing.
to me it describes the whole female dilemma
a good woman, mother daughter is never good for anything unless whe sacrifices everything of meaning to her.
something like a black hole in space, you become so dense with giving in that no one can see you. You can't even see yourself. The lethal last step is when you lose your sense of humor about it all.
Edited on May 09, 1:03 p.m. because ''.
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