Hmmm. so here i am writing in this

To love is honestly easy for the soul. To hate takes a lifetime of pain and suffering.

Hmmm. so here i am writing in this "column" thing because i dont have the urge to write a poem right now, and i really dont want to write any of this in my xanga.. so i guess it will just be some meaningless rambles, me babbling on and on about whatever the hell i feel like it.. So what is all the hype about valentines day?  i absolutely hate it... i dont want to buy my b/f anything.. because what the hell am i supposed to buy him?  Its not like we are something serious and candy and flowers are stupid. Not sure i'd feel right giving him a teddy bear (even though he'd probably actually like that one the most) nor giving him a gag/sexual gift.  And all this valentines day stuff has got my brain thinking.. I honestly think that things happen for a reason.. i used to be like "blah blah this is shit.. it cant possibly have a reason" But i look back at even recent past events.. and indeed, they do.  Why do i do certain things at certain times?  Why am i not one to stay mad or hold a grudge?  Why am I the peace maker.. the non-violent one.  Yes, i do hate violence.. and its probably a good thing.   I think everyone around me has always said "well you could beat their asses" True.. i could.. but i wont... i just dont think its something i feel comfortable with.. My brother is pushing me to be a fighter.. and im more of the make love not war.. im not a tree hugger or a hippie.. or what not.. Not that there's anything wrong with that.. but just so you dont get the wrong impression on me.. then again, i couldnt give a shit of what you think of me.   I hold few people close to me, but those few mean the world to me.. those few ARE my world and the way i know it.  Yes, i am open minded.. and i love many...hate few... I can love someone so much without giving it a second thought.. but to hate someone?  It literally takes all my will power and strength to hate them.. I think there is really only one person who i can really truley hate.. Sure, there's the whole population of homo-phobes, Bush Administration, and the religious freaks that try to cram their god loving-ness down my throat that i honestly despise... But to single someone out and say that i honestly *hate* them.. Wow.. it tears my soul apart.. haunts my dreams until i will create amends with the person or group.  -_-
Well I suppose that is enough babbling for now~~