Secrets To True Love--Not Just For Women
If you think true love comes easy, think again. It sometimes comes with a very high price. You may get really lucky the first time around when you're still young, or you may have to wait until you've already sworn off love forever. When you finally say that you'll never fall in love again, there comes Cupid with that silly bow and arrow. Get ready for a nice little prick somewhere around the buttocks.
My first husband was charming enough while we dated, but it didn't take long for his true colors to show. I won't go into any details here; I believe many have read enough of my work to know what I went through with him. I shook like a leaf in the Autumn wind in front of that minister, because I knew I didn't love him. You may be asking why I married him. I honestly do not know the answer to that question to this day.
We were a very nice-looking couple. I have never been hard on the eyes, and at that time, I guess I knew it. He was a handsome man, and he was also quite muscular. Perhaps I was in love with the idea of being in love with a handsome man. I was in love also with the idea that we'd get married and have babies right away. It took us five agonizing years.
Four children and eighteen years later, I left, and I haven't looked back. It was the best thing I ever did for myself, although it crushed my heart and my soul. I figured that I was used up and worthless.
When I met, Joe, my present husband, we were both broken and badly bruised. We certainly were not looking for love, but I believe after ten years that we were brought together by God, Himself. Anyone who believes in Astrology knows that two Virgos supposedly cannot live together. Now, I'd like to know what sap thought that up. We drive each other crazy only occasionally, and that's because we are both perfectionists. But we defied the laws of Astrology, and I believe that our love only grows stronger each and every day. Try being joined at the hip to someone else for ten years and loving nearly every minute of it. For me, it's the closest I've ever been to Heaven.
If you've read this far, you may want to know our secret. Simply put, RESPECT. Joe and I have a wonderful, mutual respect for each other for which I am thankful. Now, let me go into the type of respect I'm talking about.
Respect is a good thing to learn. It means being kind and loving to each other. That develops and nurtures a healthy respect. When Joe and I first moved in together, I brought him a cup of coffee upon his rising the first morning. He gave me a strange look and asked why I did it. I wanted to know why he was so surprised. In all his years no woman had brought him a cup of coffee unless it was a waitress. How sad. I still bring his coffee to him, and with a smile. There are times when he brings me coffee, and he never forgets the cream.
My feet were swelling recently, and they really hurt. Joe would put pillows under them for me and rub them. Last evening he drew a bubble bath for me and pulled my hair up to keep it dry. Afterward he rubbed my feet again with a soothing lotion. That's concern which falls under that lovely category of respect.
Zaffen, one of my dear friends here on AP recently took wonderful care of his lady love when she had knee surgery. His love for her is evident in what he writes. There are others here who are experiencing the most wonderful kind of love because they have mutual respect in their relationship.
Lack of jealousy is another very important factor. I have never felt the need to be jealous. I figure that if my husband didn't want me, I certainly wasn't going to be jealous of him. Joe and I have no need to be jealous, and we do not act in such a way. Jealousy will deteriorate a relationship quicker than an actual act of infidelity. This still goes back to the respect issue.
It's actually very simple. Treat the one you love the way you want to be treated. In most cases, they will treat you with love and respect in return. It's as simple as the Golden Rule.
I hope this helps someone out there. I'm not Dear Abby, and I'm not perfect, but I do have what I call a near perfect marriage because of this one simple little word--respect.
Good luck to all of you who are searching for love. It is possible.
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