Conflict Resolution

This is a paper on the Importance of having Conflict Resolution in Schools. The better we become at dealing with what initiates conflict the better we will be at creating peace.

Schools: Teaching How To Be
A
Human Being

Thomas Burson

Comp 11
Introduction

When we send our children to school, we should recognize that there is asocialization process taking place. This is the reason for religious schools, private schools, and home schooling as alternatives to public school. It is not, solely, the academics. It is, in a large part, more about teaching them to be grounded in a certain system of social values. Our current educational system in trying to promote self-esteem and rid the classroom of bullies is not succeeding. Instead we have anincrease of narcissistic behavior, videos on U Tube of beat downs and, unfortunately, children shooting children. The Federally mandated, “No Child Left Behind,” is trying to swim upstream against increased drop out rates and children more interested in notoriety on Face Book than doing well in the class room. Is there a program that will allow us a chance to change this trend. Conflict Resolution is an answer. By teaching children how to deal with feelings in a pro-active fashion, find positive and creative ways to deal with contentious circumstances with non-violent means, provide teachers and school administrators ways to maintain authority and rules with new tools that increase student responsibility for their own behavior, the American Public Schools can become a place for positive social interactions leading to an increase in academic excellence and students who will leave schools with the necessary tools to succeed in attaining their goals in the “Real World.”



Public Schools

No parent has ever wanted the learning environment to be anything less than the
healthiest possible place for learning to take place. Jacksonville Florida reported that in eight years previous to 1994 there had been an increase in youth violence. (Lovett & Walzak 1997). We have seen the shooting in Columbine, Virginia Tech so schools are no longer seen as safe places. We have not let these things pass unnoticed. There has been increase in gang behavior so police and sheriff departments have had to create anti-gang units to prevent their spread into the suburbs. The picture is not pretty and it appears to not be getting any better.
We have seen efforts to stem this tide with new programs being brought into the school system. There is an increased amount of attention given to self-esteem in the hope that if a child feels good about themselves there will be less reason for violence. This has not turned out as hoped. Twenge and Campbell in “The Narcissism Epidemic”(2009) state unequivocally that this has led to narcissistic behavior. Studies have shown that this behavior is more likely to create violence than low self-esteem. Part of what was unusual about Columbine and VA Tech was that in both instances the perpetuators expected great fame and notoriety to be derived from their actions. Tewenge and Campbell further show that making children feel special makes them feel entitled. This results in them feeling angry when their desires are not met and no sense of guilt should violence ensue. It is not their fault, they should have been first or they should have been recognized as being better than everyone else (p69-88).

The old line about what is really valued must be earned has a certain truth. For self-esteem to be achieved it must be earned. It is why I would not let my son participate in T-ball that did not keep score. The association felt that losing would hurt or damage the delicate egos of the children. They wanted them all to be winners. For there to be winners there must be losers. My son needed to learn how to lose, so he could learn how to get back up and keep striving for success. He needed to understand the feelings of being on the losing side, even after playing well and working hard to win. This would give him better tools to be a good winner and greater respect for the people he with whom he competed.
Fairfax County Schools in Virginia has an anti-bullying program and was heralded as a forward thinking educational system for instituting it. It involves one lesson a year to be taught by elementary counselors about not being a bully and what that means. In middle and high school, counselors are to address this along with violence with the students in their caseload. (Our ongoing efforts to prevent and deal with bullying in FCPS: n.d. Retrieved on Oct 15, 2009 from HYPERLINK "http://www.fcps.edu/news/bullyprevention/" www.fcps.edu/news/bullyprevention/) In talking to Joan Packard, who is a member of the social services and psychology dept of Fairfax County Schools, I learned that it has not been as successful as hoped. Explaining to children that they should share more and not be bullies has helped but not enough. Too many children who are frustrated and seeking more attention (possibly narcissistic behavior) are too quickly labeled as trouble makers. She is in charge of looking into a better system of socializing our children while in school. She has chosen Conflict Resolution.

Conflict Resolution
What is it?
The primary idea behind conflict resolution is: you can train people, including children, in techniques that will allow them to have a wider repertoire of choices than violence when frustrated with getting their needs meet. It often also includes in schools and places of business volunteer mediation groups to deal with minor conflicts and misbehavior (Lovett, Marcell, Walzak 1997) Warren and Roberta Heydenberk (2007) developed a program for kindergarten and 1st grade students to help them develop a better understanding of their feelings, appropriate behavior when they had these feelings. They reported that Conflict Resolution helps students in three ways:

First, ‘resolving conflicts in principled ways promotes and preserves
relationships thereby facilitating the bonding that is essential.’
Crawford & Bodine , 1996 p73). Second, the conflict resolution
education helps students control their behavior and make smarter choices.
encouraging them to solve their own problems, rather than having them
controlled by teacher and staff.

Studies down over a period of time show these lessons are permanent and help a great deal latter on in life and the child benefits both and health and social interactions. (Smith Sandho, 2004, p289)
The Peace Center in Langhorne Pennsylvania is one group that offers training in school to the students and to the teacher and administrators. This is not one lesson a school year. In elementary classes, it is an on going series of lessons about developing a relationship with your feelings and discussing healthy and peaceful responses that are available for each one. This particular level of conflict resolution training was studied and peer reviewed in a 2007 article called More than manners: conflict resolution in primary classrooms (Heydenberk & Heydenberk). For middle schools and high schools it is a program that focuses on Peer Mediation with monthly meetings of the peer mediation members and a Leadership development program that focuses on learning to be above all the isms created to divide people into groups. Looking at how to make schools safe – physically, mentally and morally. Developing skills in helping others to find alternatives to violence, also development in communication and other skills to use when working with others. They will also provide workshops for teachers in an array of areas such as “Creating Peaceful Classrooms,” “Creative Discipline in the Classroom” and “Anger Management” as well as others to great in number to list for this paper. (Project Peace for Schools n.d. Retrieved Oct 18, 2009 from HYPERLINK "http://www.thepeacecenter.org/projectpeace") One of the reasons for looking into The Peace Center is its willingness, because of its funding sources, to offer it skills at the lowest possible cost. This savings is to help reduce the cost argument against instituting it in our schools.

Success So Far
An Internet search will find business using Conflict Resolution, because it improves morale and heightens production through its improvements to the work environment. There are many different companies offering trainings. So we should not be surprised that schools are interested. I found in interviewing Jane Packard that there were things standing in the way. One obstacle was all the programs and demands that are put on the school by federal, state and local legislation and the desires of families. Another obstacle was simply inertia and resistance to change. Last but not least is cost, it takes time and money to train people in the use of Conflict Resolution as well as a commitment on the part of the teachers and staff that have been trained to use what they have learned. She had, just, returned from training and was very excited about what she had learned. She appreciated my research because it gave more information to support its need for speedy implementation, likely somewhere between three to five years down the road to have it fully installed. You can find reports like the Jefferson Parish Sheriffs Department in Louisiana, (2004) which were pleased by the fact that not only did they reduce violence in classrooms but also gang violence in the community. The Jacksonville Community Council Inc. found

“JCCI also found that the student culture of the participating
schools appears to be changing as a result of the project.
The evaluation report noted that students are letting their
peers know when they are acting inappropriately; are eager
to learn about peer mediation and, specifically, how they
can become peer mediators; and are reminding their peers
‘violence never solves anything.”

While these are just a few examples, there is a growing body of work showing that this program is more than just an intervention like the anti-bullying program in Fairfax County, Virginia. This program teaches long term and short term skills. It improves ones sense of belonging at all ages when there are skills gained in finding co-operative successful behaviors approved by the people in your environment.



Conclusion
Conflict Resolution gives the child a positive path to interact with other people and allows them to find ways of attaining goals with the help of others rather than being frustrated or resorting to violence. It decreases the sense of entitlement and irresponsibility that is created by treating them as special or privileged. They learn to deal with bully behavior in ways that prevent it from being maintained by labeling or the student being oppressed.

Simple, effective, and non-discriminatory, Conflict Resolution creates every reason a school should invest time and effort to make this part of their program. The improved environment, higher academic attainment would make public school more attractive to students, parents and teachers everywhere.

References:

Heydenberk, W. & Heydenberk, R. (2007) More than manners: conflict resolution in
primary classrooms. Early Childhood Education, 35, 119-126. Retrieved
September 24, 2009 from EBSCO

JSPO instructors teach lessons about anger management, conflict resolutions to 15,000
middle school students (2004, Nov. 15) New Orleans CityBusiness Retrieved
September 24, 2009 from EBSCO

Lovett, M., Walzak, D. ( 1997)A community corporate DL partnership: Teaching
conflict resolution to middle school students. T H E Journal, 25. Retrieved: Oct. 04, 2009 from EBSCO


Schonfield, A. (2008) Dispute training resolves conflict, promotes harmony. Business
Journal (Central New York) 1, 12. Retrieved September 21, 2009 from EBSCO

2009Smith, D., Sandhu, D., (2004). Toward a positive perspective on violence prevention
in schools: Building connections. Journal of Counseling and Development. 82, 287-293 Retrieved Oct. 4, 2009, EBS

Twenge, J., Campbell, W. (2009). The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the age of
Entitlement. New York, NY: Free Press