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I swear I'm not making this stuff up

truth really is stranger than fiction.
here's your proof.




Resident’s member is saved from ring


Firefighters dodge sparks as they saw through metal ring into which man had inserted his penis. He used the weight in effort to make it longer, but it got stuck for three days.

By: Joseph Serna (for the Daily Pilot)

Tuesday, September 22, 2009 10:52 PM PDT


online site:   http://www.dailypilot.com/articles/2009/09/22/topstory/dpt-emergency092309.txt


In what firefighters described as a once-in-a-lifetime call, officials with the Costa Mesa Fire Department’s Urban Search and Rescue squad were summoned early Tuesday morning to Hoag Memorial Hospital Presbyterian in Newport Beach to save another man’s penis from perishing.

The man, whom authorities declined to identify, other than saying that he was in his 50s, had apparently put his penis through the hole of a steel, ring-shaped dumbbell weight fastener, two or three days earlier.

The device got stuck, and he couldn’t remove it. The penis had blackened and swollen to five times its normal size, authorities said. In order to remove the ring, firefighters had to use a saw to cut through it.

“They said his comment was, ‘This will make me the chief of my tribe,’” said Costa Mesa Battalion Chief Scott Broussard, who like others in the department, heard about the incident the next morning.

The man thought the weight from the steel object would make his organ longer, but what he did to it almost rendered it useless, authorities said.

The steel collar-like fastener cut off circulation to the man’s penis, said Capt. Dave Kearley. As a result, blood could not flow out of it, and it swelled to the point that the man couldn’t remove the ring, Kearley said.

Broussard added that doctors at Hoag had told the man, who refused immediate treatment, that if he waited any longer to remove the fastener, the flesh in his penis would die.

“He was kind of a wingnut,” Broussard said.

Staff kept him in the hospital under a psychiatric hold and called the Fire Department to come remove the item because they didn’t have the tools to do it, Broussard said. Medical personnel tied down the man to a table and sedated him for the emergency, he said.

Firefighters had to don full surgery garb, including masks and scrubs.

The men constructed a watering system to keep the sparks from the sawing — which were flying half-way across the room — from injuring the patient as they cut through the inch-thick ring around his penis.

The delicate procedure took two hours.

“They also slid a little piece of metal between the collar and his thing, so if it slipped past it wouldn’t hit his thing,” Broussard said.

If anything, the incident demonstrated the versatility of the city firefighters’ rescue skills, Broussard said.

“If we’re cutting people out of some kind of building, or if we’re cutting right up next to somebody’s flesh and don’t damage his flesh, then it’s a good day,” he said.

___________________________________________________________


just thought we could all use the laugh
love,
Jin

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1 - 23 of 23

  • Pure Thought silver member
    September 24
    Edit | Reply
    Ah, geeezey peeezey.
    Must be a human, even monkeys aren't that stupid.

    So pathetically funny.

    Thanks, now let's pick a topic with a little more weight to it... LOL


  • adsaige
    September 24
    Edit | Reply
    oh jesus mama. that was too funny.


    • JinSays gold member
      September 24
      Edit | Reply

      Im telling ya, everytime I think about it, I have to laugh...

      • adsaige
        September 24
        Edit | Reply
        Just shared it with a dear friend of mine and his words were:
        Dude, seriously? This is a real article? A weight around his...
        damn what an idiot! That is just disgusting!

        • JinSays gold member
          September 24
          Edit | Reply
          lol...yeah...three damned days. the thing was black and swollen to five times its normal size. might be a problem there, darlin


  • Sweet Impatience gold member
    September 24
    Edit | Reply
    I've just been rendered speechless... ok maybe not from the fits of laughter that I'm in.. the things people will do, sometimes just boggles my mind.. anyway maybe it's not particularly funny poor guy, but I needed a laugh after yesterday, thanks Jin for once again saving me from what I was about to do... sometimes we just need to laugh at life and the idiotic things others do.

    Love you lots

    Kat


    • JinSays gold member
      September 24
      Edit | Reply

      I have to laugh, especially because the FD had to perform surgery, and not a doctor...

      • Sweet Impatience gold member
        September 24
        Edit | Reply
        well sometimes one's job description doesn't always cover the stupid things others do, maybe they should put that in people's contracts.. to watch out for the weird and unscpecting crap.. one never knows what is going to happen or when

        • JinSays gold member
          September 24
          Edit | Reply
          lol
          three days?
          he left it on for THREE DAYS, and didn't call 911?
          ya know, he'll never get another date as long as he lives.
          anyone that dumb is scary.
          seriously. he must be totally crazy.


  • jcat gold member
    September 24
    Edit | Reply
    There was a guy here in town that worked at the mill and used the conveyor belts to jack off.....Anyway one day he was going to town and and a snag in the belt caught at his testicles and sucked them up and in....damn near ripping them off! Well he was so embarrassed he just grabbed a regular ol' stapler to repair his testies with!!! Needless to say they rusted and turned septic, his balls swelled to humongous proportions and he had to go to the e.r. where he had to have emergency surgery to repair the aweful damage done.....LOL....Takes all kinds I guess!!


  • glenn shannon silver member
    September 24
    Edit | Reply
    i still think house bricks hanging off the balcony work better and if things go wrong well at least one can just call a stone mason and avoid the embarrasement of the forie fighters larfing at you . oh my god what a story . Jin your a mess lol

  • Still Standing gold member
    September 24
    Edit | Reply
    WOW


  • poet2angels gold member
    September 24
    Edit | Reply
    Just when you think you have heard it all
    Omg I needed a laugh this morning ...
    I guess he didn't fall for the ads for the enlargening pills and decided to try it his way

    You crack me up

    • JinSays gold member
      September 24
      Edit | Reply
      omg, I didnt think it was real Lynda. I was in that half-dream state...? so first thing I did was hop on here and look up the story. it's a wonder officials arent releasing his name


  • awannabepoet
    September 24
    Edit | Reply
    Oh my lord, what people will do, perhaps it is a measure of just how much porn has an influence over males and thier desire to dominate in all arenas....

    What a dumb arse this dude was, but I guess he will have seen it get 5x bigger than usual at least once in his life...

    LOL


  • tomisb
    September 24
    Edit | Reply
    I will tell my wife about this one. should leave her in stitches.
    Love,
    Tom B.

    • JinSays gold member
      September 24
      Edit | Reply
      I heard it last night, right before falling asleep.
      When I woke up, it was the first thing I thought about
      poor dummy

      love,
      jin


      • tomisb
        September 24
        Edit | Reply
        Told Sue and she just died laughing. Thanks for the smiles
        Love,
        Tom B.

1 - 23 of 23