Variation
This is a variation on a fourteen line sonnet which can be metered as here or un-metered. The idea is to add an internal rhyme line to each stanza to give the reading a flow, each stanza will have a similar flow with the internal rhyme, acting as a couplet within each stanza.
Here done in eight syllables and five syllables, but would be fine in ten and six/seven for the short verses, eight and five are proportions rather than fixed ideas.
It would work with decameter in long lines/hexameter in short lines as well.
The rhyme is essentially mono-rhyme with the internal rhyme adding variety, pace and a break to mono-rhyme.
Hope some of you will try it...please send me a link if you do...
as fiction...
He wore life as a mask of day
each scene of time would rise to play
as if ripped from an urgent script.
As he watched each step of the way
if guides voice, asked gray
would turn tides away
within flow he'd go
a sun swept betray.
Unmasked by the night's mood and sway
when gentle air and whispers portray
a moonlight kind that filled his mind
put outward duty, into delay
waits til dawn, his better nature pays
dear price, drawn as fiction, now stays.
(c) PKPoetry
Hot Wheels
Once a tram driver had to pee
sped with extreme alacrity
the rails gave sparks, flying past parks
with secluded spaces and trees
the gleam in his eyes
blindness in clear skies
urges grew in surges
to ask heavens...why?
did I agree to so much tea
did i stay to gaze at beauty
did I pass the chance, now i dance
hot wheels and steel pay so dearly
danger to life in the city
a tram driver who needs to pee
(c) PKPoetry
Meter:
8,8,8,8
5,5,5,5
8,8,8,8
8,8,8,8
8,8
Rhyme: a,a,b-b,a
a,a,c-c,a
a,a,d-d,a
a,a
a variation on a sonnet form
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Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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I just came over to read your sonnet variation since I am taking the Gentle Beginnings sonnet class...this has totally confused me but I like the comment you made about sonnets not being wht they used to be...I keep writing what I think is a sonnet and keep getting it rejected because of meter...it is going to send me to sonnet hell before it is over
Thanks for the fun time reading these...now back to the 'sonnet' composition...
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Ah, don't break your head, PK is joking here, this isn't a variation of sonnet
Call it hot wheels
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Oh, I think meter is not nearly as important as having a good poem with something to say...I share your feeling, meter is hard for me so I let my ear be the test...if it sounds good to me...its a poem!.... thanks for all...PK
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Hmmm
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Gaze-
ahh thank you for your kind words...er... syllables h
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letters lol
well, will tell you why the hmmm, you know what I think about sonnets
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well a sonnet is not what it used to be...now some don't even rhyme, any number of lines...they make whatever they want... letters and syllables.....
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