This is a sensitive topic for some, so if you get offended easily, then don't read.
And yes this is a very random topic, especially coming from me. But I just really want to know.
Go ahead:
Random discussion.
When do you think someone has lost their virginity? My morals have slowly been changing, and I no longer know the answer to this question myself. I obviously know that regular penis-to-vagina is a loss of virginity, but is that all? What about oral/anal sex? Or hand jobs? Or even just being together with someone naked (other than gym class)?
This is a sensitive topic for some, so if you get offended easily, then don't read.
And yes this is a very random topic, especially coming from me. But I just really want to know.
Go ahead:
This is a sensitive topic for some, so if you get offended easily, then don't read.
And yes this is a very random topic, especially coming from me. But I just really want to know.
Go ahead:
Add a comment
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1 - 8 of 8
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I'm not sure if this will even receive a response to this, but I randomly clicked on this, so I thought it would be good to respond, regardless of how much time has passed.
I think there are four aspects to "virginity" as it were:
1) Physical.
2) Mental.
3) Emotional.
4) Spiritual.
I personally do not define "virginity" by the standard norm of "lack of penis-to-vagina penetration" and/or breaking of the hymen of the female, etc. Although, with the advent of certain religio-political societies and rules, it began to take that translation, and was repeatedly skewed to fit whatever that culture felt or perceived it as such at the time. Once upon a time, "virgin" meant simply "maiden." It was a connotative description of someone who was "untouched" and untroubled by more adult concerns and desires.
To give and to receive love, in whatever capacity, is an extremely personal subject. Though we try and define it best we can, we only truly know for ourselves, just how we feel about another person, and how we would wish to be loved and treated. We know this for ourselves, when we encounter it. Once we've explored all the realms of possibility, our capacity to love another human being, no matter what form it takes, then I consider that to be a loss of virginity.
That may sound rather esoteric to some, but I speak only the truth as I understand it. We lose our "virginity" in layers, different ways. If any of those aspects are ripped from us, without our permission, I consider that to be rape. Even if we don't "know any better" it is still wrong.
Losing virginity, is a slow loss of our naivety,(not in the negative sense-but our "not knowing any better") It ideally can and should be a positive and growth experience. It is neither defined to me as gender specific, nor is it defined as straight/gay/lesbian/bi capacity. It is a human capacity of a realm beyond what we currently know. It applies to everyone, as I feel virginity is a catch-all term for our innocence. Once we experience certain aspects of it, we no longer are innocent to the knowledge of it.
~Hettie -
i still "felt" like a virgin for months after i lost mine. aside from the technicality of what virginity actually is, it's entirely up to the person
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virginity is physical. once you have had sex, really any sex doesnt matter, your just not because the physical action will impact the mental notions. you can't separate your mind thinking about fire as dangerous after burning yourself anymore than the mind defining sexuality after the action.
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i mostly stick with the traditional definition of virginity. first intercourse. but though a rape is a technical loss of virginity, the girl (or i suppose guy too) should still be considered a virgin because it wasn't of their own choosing
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But then there's the question of homosexual sex. Does that mean gays are always going to be virgins because they cannot do things the traditional way?
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well no, because sex is about committment, like "this is something i want to do." just because they don't have sex with a girl doesn't mean they are a virgin. and oral sex doesn't require the same emotional investment as sex- i still see it as foreplay.
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Hmmm.... I have no idea.
There are many people I know who say that rape doesn't cause loss of virginity, but oral/anal sex does.
Personally, I think there's the physical loss of virginity and the mental/emotional one. The physical is the obvious penetration, but the mental is the desire for it and the pleasure from it. Maybe you have to have both to have truly lost your virginity.
Then again, it's all semantics, really. opinion. There's the obvious scientific meaning, but I suppose it's open to debate.
Hey, Momma-Cass-Cass, what do you think? -
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I agree totally on the physical and mental. And mentally losing your virginity doesn't have to be a bad thing, it doesn't even have to be about sex. It can just be realizations of life, right?
For now, I'll just agree with you. I know that sounds immature of me, but I'm obviously confused myself, and I still want to hear more from others.
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