HIM

By spunkybaier on April 19th 2009, late at night.
on topic cant think

every time your face reaches my thoughts, i go numb. my mind goes blank; empty. i cant think of you-- even now-- with out feeling the need to stop and stare at that beautiful face that conquers everything in my head. so many reasons i think through why you have that effect on me; maybe -- the most considerable -- because of my heart becoming torn in two with the decision of forgetting you for eternity (or attempting to, anyways), or keeping the pain of never having you for the pleasure of your memory. i write this with words coming one at a time; instead of sentences as they usually do. if i fail to make sence i appolagize, for i am merely speaking from my heart and not my head as my head is left blank, like i have said many times in these words. all i can keep myself from thinking of on days like this are the cold words you expressed to a former friend's phone; that day when i was portraying her, but really just wanted the opinion that you refused to share to my face. i constantly wish horribly to go back and rethink my actions on that day. although, if that experiance were to redo itself i would never be able to know your true feelings of me. i would still be hoping, and so very clueless.