Just a personal rambling.
I am seriously reconsidering how, when and if I post my work here at AP. I've been critiqued in many ways. Mostly it has been a help and a blessing. It has massively improved how I read, write and view poetry. Other times, I begin to wonder if I should pen at all. If I write a poem that rhymes, or has a form or a device, there's a comment somewhere along the lines of,"I don't normally like rhyme, but this is good." If I write in free verse or non-rhyming format, then the opposite comment usually pops up somewhere in the comment box:"I don't normally read or like free verse, but..." So which is it? I write in both types, all types, any given day, any given topic, that sparks my muse. Some people don't understand this, unless they have read both of my styles. I read both, I write both, I like both. If you don't like my rhymes, then feel free to peruse my non-rhyming writes. If you don't like my free verse, then feel free to peruse my rhyming and forms. Simple as that. I've also been knocked around about my use of "big words" and "language beyond the grasp of the reader." I've toned it down, sometimes to the point of ridiculous, and still get reamed in that department. Those writes, where I use no "big words," get absolutely no comments sometimes at all! Nothing interesting to hold the reader's attention span. I've entered contests, where even the judge doesn't bother to view or even comment on my pieces. I've even tried writes, where I only use a mere sprinkling of interesting phrasing or imagery, just to avoid cliche usage of ho-hum, and still get a ho-hum response. I feel sometimes as though I lose potency, and my own voice as a writer and as a poet, by these seemingly odd and contradictory constrictions. To me, they sound absurd! Really, I'm working on this, alot, I put a LOT of time and effort into what I place forth as a writer. I feel choked, between just wanting to spill my feelings and cleaning it up into poetic verse, just wanting to WRITE something, anything. Other times, the well dries up with confliction, and not feeling up to expectation. I'm head-butting between just simply wanting to write the way I want to write, and writing to please a reading audience. I hope I can write the way I want to, despite what people say about it. Isn't that why we are all here? To express feeling, and our emotions, through poetic verse? I am beyond frustration with this confliction, and seeming contradictory terms.
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It is wonderful that you are sensitive and aware ... however ... keep in mind most people here are uneducated posers. I am amused at their comments. If I posted a T.S. Elliot poem I guarantee most people would not comment at all, because they wouldn't understand it. Charles Ives said that, "Awards are the badges of mediocrity." and he was right. You are a genuine human being and poet. Write for you and you alone. If you like it, it is good. The rest is just sharing with friends. If you take the rabble seriously, then you'll go crazy. If you wonder if a poem is good, ask me. I'll give you an honest review anytime.
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As always, you have been honest with me That I respect with the utmost gratitude. I appreciate your comment on this as well as your input.
I value your input.
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Hetha
You should continue writing your works if they make YOU happy, regardless of whatever anyone else says. I'll be here and support you regardless your decision. -
Hetha
I have always said that a good poet will write fluently in all genre of poetry, complex or simple. Sometimes simple works. Sometimes complexity works. Same for form, rhyme or free verse.
You will always write to please an audience, but remember the audience you please will almost always be an audience of poets. And you, dear soul, are one of them.
Write to your own satisfaction. Say what you need to say. Develop, learn, expand, and grow.
If you do all those things, then you have success.
As far a contest judges and contests go? Your poem is only as good in that contest as the impression it made on that day when read by that judge who may have had zero or a thousand distractions, might have been feeling happy, or may have been feeling blue.
It is always subjective - never gauge your skill or talent by an AP contest. Sure, it is great to win but if you don't, it doesn't mean you have lost. It simply means that the contest judge liked something else better that day.
You have a gift. Enjoy it to its fullest and to He77 with the rest!
~Pamela
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This would be why, you are also among my favorites and friends here! I will take your advice on the matter. Thank you so much Pamela, you have always inspired me, and helped me grow in countless ways.
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Oh I totally agree. Poetry is a personal art form. Who cares what others say. Who are they? what right have they to form opinions of value? They are just people with their own ideas right or wrong. Just don't take it on. Shrug it off. I can tell you this, to be on my favorites list you must be darn good. You have a strong friend base who love your wwork no matter what it is so forget the rest. We all love you and your work.
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Thank you sweetie You are there on mine with good reason as well. You are so very talented, no matter what anyone says.
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Matters not what you think of me
my heart spread all over the page
writes, a mirror, helping to see
An introspection of myself
revealing layers hidden long
must be looked at with utmost stealth
not to get the impression wrong
writes to improve our mental health
learning from this, will become strong.
It matters not what others think
journey to self discovery
Sit back, relax, have a cold drink
write and set those old demons free.
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Thank you, Gris! You've always been a good friend to me And inspirational to my writes. I value your opinion highly. This was a beautiful verse that touched me and this topic with a good feeling.
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DITTO...
Bless your heart for mine has turned to stone... Or the muse has... Maybe they are codependant and need tharapy? Being a total beginner I am swimming in this same sea of confusion... Looking for my happy place, Ithica 
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Thank you sweetie Maybe our muses should get together in that way.
Or perhaps a collab sometime?
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You know what? When it all comes down to it, what those fingers on the other end of the keyboard say matters not a bit. You cannot please everyone, in fact it seems sometimes we can please no one. I enter ryming poems in a free verse contest, just because they said not to. Write for yourself, if you are happy with it then it is good enough. As far as the contest holders, I wont get into that one. I have written enough about them.
The audience is just that, an audience, there seem to be a ton of critics, but very few real poets, ones that write from their hearts. Those of us that do tend to find each other here and become friends. I'm proud to call you my friend. Pen as you wish, those who can appreciate the beauty of your writes, do.
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Yes, well said!! Why couldn't I find those words??
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Hetha
I have so much to say about what you have just written! I have been feeling the same way. A part of me has been lost on AP because I feel like I need to impress, in some strange way, my readers. Please, and I mean this, don't stop writing the way you do. Some of us are here and we learn from you. I could only dream of bringing forth the words you use. That is why I often find that I get out my thesaurus or dictionary when reading. I want to learn the meaning of the words I read. Don't get discouraged and if you do, then post another column like this one!!!!! -
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Thank you It means so much to me, to know that someone actually walks away with gained knowledge from my writes. Indeed, it is the highest compliment
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bravo thank you for sharingmaralisa
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