Womanizer

So I'm not sure what to say.
Honestly I'm not doing this for myself. I don't want to get sucked back into this. It took me a year and a half to get out of it the first time.
But I'm not one to just ignore what happens and hope it disappears.
And I'm not one to stand by and watch as people get hurt.
Maybe I'll help you.
Maybe you'll call me a lying bitch and spit in my face.
It's a risk I'm willing to take.

Though I'm not sure if I could say why.

My name is Ellen. I'm 16 years old. I haven't eaten meat in over half a year because I accidentally saw a video of what really happens, and couldn't eat an animal afterwards. I tried to be a Christian but could never believe it. I'll dress emo one day and hippie the next. I want to die my hair purple. I've had five boyfriends. But only two have mattered. And it's the first I want to talk about.

You know who he is. Now that you know a little about me, you can decide a little better whether or not to believe me.

Danny is a womanizer.

I was fourteen years old. A freshman. Never had a boyfriend, didn't have enough self-esteem to get myself one. Then, somehow, I was charmed by the words, "I wouldn't follow you into a bathroom because..you're kinda ugly."
Don't be ridiculous. Of course that didn't charm me. But I was already feeling weak and ugly, and wasn't mad because at the time I felt it was true. It was further cemented when he later said he offered to sacrifice me because he wouldn't care if I died--and meant it. All this on the first day I met him without me saying a word or giving a single hostility to him.

But later, he was nicer. A lot nicer. And I fell for him. My friends, even people who weren't really my friends, warned me about him. Told me not to do it. But I did anyway. I gave myself over to him.
He talked to me for a couple weeks. Told me he was only waiting because he was getting over a painful breakup. Megan told me the truth - he was with another girl at the time. Sophie. But I refused to believe Megan. I didn't want to.
When they broke up, though I didn't know it at the time, he asked me out. We dated for a month before he broke up with me, saying it was because we were moving too fast. But really, he just wanted her again. Sophie.
Heh. Memories that were so imprinted in my mind, I'm finally starting to forget. They dated for a while, a month maybe. Then he wanted me back when she dumped him. I said yes. We dated nearly four months this time. We got engaged. He asked me to marry him, and even though I had told him I wanted to wait, I said yes. And I would have.
But what he once said was cute, he found suffocating. I couldn't understand why he didn't like it when I told him how much I loved him, when he used to encourage it. I adored him, followed him, wanted to stay by his side. He said I was too clingy. His web of lies started unraveling, and when I picked up loose ends he made me feel terrible for doubting him.
One day, I overreacted, and he overreated. Honestly I think he was just looking for an excuse to leave me. I didn't cry that day. I thought for sure we'd get back together.
But the next day...he asked Sophie out. Proving that, again, he had left me for her.

That's when I cried.
I lost it. I didn't go to school the next day. I didn't want to live. I was suicidal.

After a while it got a little better. I still wanted him though. I ached for him. I hated Sophie. Loathed her for something that wasn't her fault, because Danny had chosen her over me yet again. I vowed if I ever saw her I'd make her pay for stealing my life away from me.
But after a couple weeks, he realized he could have us both. Realized I was powerless to say no. And so he had us both.
Finally one day, he said he'd had enough of her. Broke up with her, said he was all mine. I wanted to wait. But he took me back without asking, and after I finally had him I didn't want to lose him again. So I said nothing. He promised forever more than ever before. Said he had learned from his mistake and was done with Sophie. Never wanted her again. Talked about what he and I would have.
A mere three days later, he said he wanted her again.

He stayed, only after I told him if he left me for her again he'd never have another chance with me. We dated for a while, but it was never the same. Finally, I'd had enough. I haven't been with him since.



I'm still learning things that he did in that year. Things he said. Lies he told me.
And now he has betrayed my last strand of trust and told people what was ours alone to know. I can and have ignored and forgotten what he's done to me. But I can't sit by as he does it to someone else.
To you.

He was really sweet and nice to me in the beginning as well.
But even now he's talking to other girls.
He's already started his lying.

Don't make the same mistake I did.