Living life without letting fear, loneliness, and, at times, pain stop it...
People would always tell me that high school would be the best time of my life and I would eventually miss it... well they were wrong.
The time of my life is now... every day, every moment, every damn confusing second of consciousness is the time of my life…
Right now, I am so far from home when I need my family more than ever, my own sister hates me, the boy that hurt me walks free, the people I work with treat me like I am inferior to them, I had to let go of the one man that ever treated my right (it's what had to happen), my mom was in the hospital again, and my friends don't know how to help me… But each day is a new day. A new party to dance through. My life is going to hell right now… and I'm just barely holding on.
I have but few friends, and at times, I'll feel so alone and scared… there are moments when everything is just hopeless, but I pick myself up and walk to the party, to my very life its self. I make everything okay on my own. I'm flighty, I'm a poet, I'm a dreamer, and a drunk. Life is nothing more than a war and everyday lived is another battle won. C'est la vie….
Everyday is a new experience, and life lessons learned. There is loneliness, fear, and, at times, pain. But the loneliness keeps me from becoming bounded by the cultures superficial supposed-to-bes. The pain forces me to reach out and learn who my true friends are, and to love them just for being there when I need them. And the fear, of what the doctors may say during these next few terrifying week, has me living off of shear adrenalin through every single day. With a pounding heart I make everything insane, and beautiful, and just perfect for the moment. Life, health, is just a fleeting moment in its self, and should be lived without regrets.
Yeah there area few hard moments, and sad feeling but everyday is a jewel… a wonderful blur of love and parties and friends helping each other through the bad days into the great nights… and every moment is without regret. Cigarettes, rum, and 15Ts are drugs of choice, and they help me love and live every crazy day…
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