Just be who you are inside;; Looks aren't everything.

A personal narrative that I had to write for school.


Thought I'd post it on here just for fun; and because theres someone I want to read it. Lol.

When you take a close look at the media, everyone seems to be stick thin and beyond pretty. It puts an image in people's heads that they have to be just the same when in reality, they don't. "If the definition of beautiful gets any thinner, nobody would fit in." Have you ever heard that quote before? Well, I sure have and I've also been around those people who had the "perfect" bodies and most gorgeous faces, which led me to thinking; something had to change. So I did what I least expected I'd ever do, I tried to make myself just as thin and assumed it'd somehow make me prettier.
"Wow Crystal! That girl is so pretty! And she has a nice body too!" I'd just keep my comments to myself somehow hoping the thoughts would disappear. Telling myself I was fine just the way I am never seemed to work anymore. Everywhere we went my friends were always commenting on how beautiful someone was and it made me feel so ugly. I buried my feelings deeper inside trying to ignore the though of wanting to be like someone else. I never once thought I'd want to be like someone else, I was content with who I was, or so I thought.
Days past and images of everything I wanted to be didn't lessen. I longed to be that girl everyone looked at and made amazing comments about. And that's when it all started; I told myself I didn't need to eat anymore. Now, I was well aware of the problems it could cause but I just didn't seem to care. The amount I ate each day began dropping until there were whole days that I'd go without eating. It came to the point where my body just couldn't eat anymore; My body was so use to being without food. My bones grew weak and I was clearly not a healthy person any longer.
"Crystal, you need to eat." "Crystal, you are NOT fat!" "Crystal, you're beautiful just the way you are." It seemed like it wasn't until after I started ripping apart my insides that people started to care. Their comments didn't mean a thing now; it was too hard to get myself to believe something I already had in my head as a lie. I started losing weight and everyone could see it, it made me smile but somehow left a feeling inside of my that would gnaw at my flesh. I knew what I was doing wasn't good but I just didn't have the want to stop.
Little did I know, I was hurting the people that really did care about me. I was too blind and wrapped up in the image of what I "should" be to see that they were content with who I already was. I tried to make myself eat, but eating felt so wrong, my body was telling me I didn't need it; It wouldn't allow me to eat. I had to find someway to make things better so I started eating just a little bit at a time. Eventually, I was back to normal but that didn't mean the pain I cause myself and others went away as well. It lingered in the air like tiny dust particles and everyone still felt it.
Time passed and the tension lessened. I realized it was a huge mistake, a mistake I couldn't take back; just something I had to learn from. I've learned that beauty is not what people see on the outside, beauty is something your heart holds deep within you. You can be the "biggest" person ever yet be more beautiful then anyone, or just the opposite; the skinniest girl ever yet be the ugliest thing you've ever seen. It doesn't matter what you weigh or what you look like, that shouldn't count at all. And the people that really matter will look at you for what your heart holds, what what you hold on the outside. Looks defiantly aren't everything people grasp them up to be so you shouldn't bury yourself ten feet under the ground trying to be just like everyone else; being yourself is the best thing you can ever be.