Dear Adsaige
“Sometimes it’s too damn hard;
I just wanna curl up and go to sleep forever.”
To many confidantes, I am known as a listener. As a teacher. As a friend. When I was younger, I did not really have anyone to help me on the broken road of life. My environment was not a positive one, and there were things that I have experienced that no child should ever. Though, I don’t broadcast it, I do understand very well what it is like to be hurt over and over, feeling helpless to stop it. I do understand what it is like to cry to sleep every night. I do understand what it is like to be unable to trust someone—tell someone what is going on inside. I do understand hating yourself for not doing something. I also understand that it is okay to be vulnerable sometimes, and that life is not just a large slice of misery. There are small pleasures you find when you allow yourself to.
Recently, I have gone through some life changing experiences that lead me to believe that everyone needs something to hold onto. Maybe it is religion, or faith, or someone. But when the world has you down, with your face in the ground, struggling to breath, there has to be something in you that rebel and fights against the mental and emotional oppression.
I had someone this time. And they possibly saved my life. I am thankful to them.
I’m not here to preach you to that life is going to be okay, and that in the end, you’ll be happy. That is not my place to offer false securities; I can tell you that if you allow yourself to look beyond the cold shadows, and the darkness, there is some light shining through. There is someone, somewhere fighting the same darkness, pushing their way through. Maybe to get to you. And you have to meet them halfway. Fight. Because it gets hard. And you wanna call it quits, and just say ‘Fuck it.’ But you can’t. You gotta get back up—even through you’re bruised up—and keep on swinging.
I’m here. There are others too. I’m trying to help make it easier and let you know that I probably don’t know you. I probably never will. I probably will never know what your situation is. I probably will never know how hard it is on you. But what I do know is I breath the same air as you. I drink the same water. I’m under the same sky, standing on the same ground. And I love you. And I want to help.
You can contact me on the form below. I will be happy to answer your questions. Or you can message me privately. Know that I’m here to listen.
*Special Thanks To: Meroza for the lovely background!*
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