Inspired by Post Secret.

Dear Diary... I want to tell my secrets...

because you're the only one that I know will keep them...

(Thank you Frank Warren)

After spending most of the day looking at post secret.... (for all of you who dont know what post secret is... look it up on wikipedia... its amazing)

and needed to get some secrets out....


and I would love to hear some secrets in return, you would be amazed at how free you feel once you let these go...


**From the moment our eyes met, I knew there was something between us. It took almost 2 years for me to confess this to you, and within two months, you told me you were gay. A year later, you held me in your arms & told me that you loved me, & **I believed you. 3 months later, you broke my heart, telling me you want to be alone because you're going to be “just like him" but you’re not. I love you, I have faith in you, but I don’t know what to believe. The part of you that loves men or that loved me? You told me that you saw our future, we talked about a wedding, being together forever. You held me in your arms, and I knew I had the world. & anytime we are together, I never have the courage to ask you these simple questions. What did I do to change your mind? Will I ever be good enough to be with you? Should I try to move on knowing that I could never feel the same way about anyone? Would that be fair to whomever I will be with next? Why can’t we have the future we dreamed about?

**I hate you for the simple fact that even after all he has put you through, you would still be willing to give him another chance before me.

**I hate my body and who I am, because I fear no one worthwhile will ever love me.

**I have PCOS (Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome)and it scares me, because I want nothing more than to be a wife and a mother… but I fear that my weight and this disease will never let me have that…

**There are days when I sincerely want to crash my car into a tree, just so I can find out if my life is as much of a soap opera as it seems to be… and they only thing that stops me is the fear that once I’m in the hospital… you won’t be there by my side the way I wanted you to.

**Even after all this time, and how many friends I have… I still fear that none of them are truly my friends, and that they all secretly hate me.. and just put up with me because they feel sorry for me.

**I wish I had waited. You were pathetic and tiny. And totally not worth it. Especially the coercion… after the first time, I never wanted to again, but you always managed to get your way… and I blame you for my aversion to it now.

**Seeing what was left for me made my heart leap out of my chest with hope. Until I realized, it was you who left it, and you never mean anything you do. You have me on this string of hope… knowing that I love you too much to cut it, but it keeps me dangling on your every word… you hint at a possible future one night… then change your mind the next… and I can see it in your eyes that you miss us. I can see that you wanted to do the same thing you did last year. Take the risk, I promise that it’ll work out.

**I still wonder if you have the same dreams as I do.
And If you miss me even half as much as I miss you.

**When my father passed away in 2001, I knew he was murdered. I could never prove it to anyone, but I know that you are responsible. I know exactly how you betrayed your best friend. And I hope you rot in hell for taking him away from us. I needed my Dad… so did my brother, my sister, and My Mother. I will find a way to make you pay.

**I love seeing ugly, fat girls with good looking guys… especially when they are walking through the mall with a stroller or kids in tow. It gives me hope.

**The one relationship that I never expected anything from, ended up shaping who I am. I miss him, but not enough to forgive him for what he did. I personally hope that someone hurts him the way he hurt me.

**I’m afraid of settling for a man I don’t love… because he loves me enough to want to spend his life with me… when in reality, I am in love with another man, but I can’t wait 20 years for him to make up his mind.

**Is there any guys out there who would love a morbidly obese, loud, bossy woman? Because if there is… I can’t find him.

**Hey Prince Charming! I’m waiting over here! Just ask for directions already…

**I’m terrified of moving on, only to never feel about another man the way I feel about him…

**If any of my friends take the time to read this, which I don’t think they will… I hope they will tell me.

**There are days I wish you would ask me to run away with you and never look back.
I know exactly what I would pack… and where I would like to go.