a bit of a dream diary

among your books
among your clothes
among your noise and thoughts
of letting go

i can stop
and catch my breath
and look no further
for happiness

and i will not turn again
because my heart
has found its home

~dido





Aug. 26, 2008 - I slept for a few hours this afternoon and had this dream.. a part of which has inspired me to write this.

About a month ago, I had a few dreams. I remember a couple. In random order.

First. I was going to the university to apply or for the exam. I had to cross this sea to get to it. Going there, my parents and I took a boat, which I found it hard to climb onto. I was scared of traveling by it. On the return way, the boat was on the other side, together with my parents. I had to swim my way on a small but stormy, unfriendly sea. The boat folks threw me a rope, which I caught with some difficulty. The waves were restless and bunches of them seemed to come at the same time. I barely swam holding the rope.

Second. My first day at the university. After the opening ceremony, each of us went with a professor to get acquainted with the campus and learn about the college. I went with a music professor, whom I recall I liked. After walking a little and briefly going to a restaurant (where the menu and sitting apart from my parents worried me), we went to the pool. The professor mentioned that the water was from a Russian sea. I carefully descended into it, but held on to the ladder. The water was very deep and I felt overwhelmed. It seemed to start flooding the entire room.

At least this is how I remember these dream fragments, about a month later.

I felt so much fear.

Today I am happy that in less than three weeks, I am going to meet one of the most precious people, for the first time in person. I am happy because he is capable of such effort for me. I am happy to have family and friends. I am happy in poetry and music. At peace. I am happy that I have been admitted to study psychology at the university, without having to pay for my tuition. I am happy because the work I will have to do is for the people and things that I love most.

An episode of today’s dream.

I took a bath. I cleaned myself with the water and a little soap. Once finished, I sat down to relax a bit before getting up to dry myself and dress. But the water was receding... I noticed I had left the bathtub cork unsealed.