"My duty ends where my strength ends." Kant.
A call to know the limit of our energy and endurance? To realise that we are human? To remember to live and enjoy life as well as working hard towards our aims - that is, to do what is reasonably possible given our fluctuating circumstance and ability, and then to forgive ourselves and remember to thank ourselves and each other for the effort should we fall short?
Much time can go by before we learn to listen to and respect our bodies and our feelings - and those of others. I've noticed we can be hard on ourselves and consequently as hard on others, but often, I find, people are less able to forgive themselves and more willing to forgive others. They will apply such harsh reasoning to their own situation, reasoning which they would never dream to apply to others. It is possible to check for this. When someone is beating themselves up with guilt for something I ask them if they would say that to someone else in the same situation. I've had to do it with a friend, lately. And she realised how hard she was being on herself. So she let up. Easy as that. We often don't realise what we are doing. Realisation - awareness - is the key, I think. Like you say, unconscious experience - in this respect often arising from a severely repressive or judgmental person in our lives - rests inside like a caged animal, forgotten but still as alive in its effect as the day it was shut in. Still affecting our thoughts, decisions, feelings and relations with the world.
It is important to be a little wary, to be conscious of the fact we may be misguided in our best effort, our best will and intention. It's just as important to forgive ourselves where mistakes occur or where we draw a blank - and to beg others' forgiveness, try to make reparation where our mistakes cause harm to them. We can only hope the worst never happens and take all care to avoid this. There our duty ends, I think - at the point of human fallibility - not something to hide behind as a facile excuse for criminal carelessness, but a point where we must remember human ability has limits according to self and circumstance.
It isn't quite enough to say 'I didn't mean to hurt anyone' where little or no thought has been borne into our actions, but where we have taken care, then more cannot be expected. Still, it is human to be careless, unguarded sometimes, and if we're lucky no-one is too hurt, and sometimes much good can come from an impulsive gesture.
Compassion, understanding and forgiveness are infectious, I think - just as impulsive, unthinking anger and harsh judgment can be.
I am a man now.
Pass your hand over my brow.
You can feel the place where the brains grow.
I am like a tree,
From my top boughs I can see
The footprints that led up to me.
There is blood in my veins
That has run clear of the stain
Contracted in so many loins.
Why, then, are my hands red
With the blood of so many dead?
Is this where I was misled?
Why are my hands this way
That they will not do as I say?
Does no God hear when I pray?
I have no where to go
The swift satellites show
The clock of my whole being is slow,
It is too late to start
For destinations not of the heart.
I must stay here with my hurt.
GK Chesterton
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