How to meet, make acquaintance, & start friendships

If you've ever wondered how some people can seem so very at ease in society, or if you would like to be more at ease yourself in public, with strangers, in new social situations, please read on, and consider what I have to share with you, of my own experience & observation. No, I was not always the social butterfly, and I have once again sought the tranquility of a quiet life. But there have been times I was quite social, and ...

I have met many people in many different walks of life, and even stay in touch with some of them. I am content with memories and what I enjoy today. I'm hoping I can encourage you to find more contentment, if you feel you might profit or otherwise enjoy more in the way of social experience.
So let's get started, shall we? My name is John Peter Creighton. You see, we start with an introduction. Some folks are not so very comfortable introducing their own selves, but you can learn it, and it's fun once you get the hang of it.


"And just who might you be?" (arched eyebrows and pointed stare upon enuncating this)


In the past, I felt somewhat put off, or put on the defensive, by people who asked me, "And who might YOU be?" or "Who are you?" However, I learned that you don't necesarily need to adduce or assume that just because a person is blunt, that they are hostile. They may be, but then again they may just not know how to put a person at ease, which is another thing I hope to teach you before long.
There are those who quail at the very thought of meeting some one new. What if they don't like me? What if I do not like THEM? What if he (or she) is a SERIAL KILLER? Or a queer? (Gasp! (lol))
One method I have made to meet people and talk is to ask one question. I might ask one question, such as “Excuse me, but what is the best beer here?”
or ask that person what they think of what is on the television, or what they think of the weather. Sometimes you can make an observation instead of a question. The person will either want to talk or not want to talk. You take it one step at a time, so to speak. Or one exchange of words at a time.
Coffee houses and taverns are good places to talk, but so are barbershops, beauty salons, parks, bus stops,the lounge car or observation car of trains going a long distance, Greyhound buses, that sort of phenomenon.


"Where are you from?"

"From what country are you?"

"What's your nationality?"

I, the virtual & real world author if this essay, am from Knox County, Galesburg, Illinois. For many years I kept anonymity as a writer, going by one or several pen names at a time, including "jean pierre," "alain julivert," and "cafegroundzer0." Lately I have begun to come out so to speak, to emerge under my own birth name, partly to be more accountable for what I write, and partly because, well, it's fun to take the mask off at last.

The conversation is a way of forming relationship, of expressing relationship, of growing in relationship. Whether this be friendship, business partnership, negotiation, diplomacy, bargaining, or what not, the conversation is a vehicle for relationship.
Remember that the other person may be every bit or even MORE shy than you. And also, that person does NOT know you. So you have a wonderful opportunity to "make a first impression." Or maybe even a better impression than you may have already made.