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A Daemon's Notebook entry 3

An old fashioned guy in a world that changes rappidly.

This entry is sort of spurred on by a conversation between my collegues at work were having today. It's certainly not the first time they've talked of sex etc in a casual manner, but it's the first time i've actually been shocked by their attitudes.

 

It started when a friend mentioned that her sister now aged 21 had been going out with the same guy since the age of 15 and everyone else seemed to pity her. Someone actually said that that's quite sad really, after being with that person for so long once they're married etc she's just gonna get tired of him anyway so she may as well just put an end to it now and seewho else there is.  There were even suggestions that before going into a long term relationship at a young age you should "road test" as much as you can fist.

 

Now i have no problem with young people that want to just have fun and live life freely before settling down with that one person, but it seems that the world has taken a turn now where loyalty, love and romance count for nothing. Instead sex just seems to be treated like a sport (both men AND women are guilty) and those that actually want lifetime commitment (myself included) from the start are now apparently the less respectable minority.

 

There are around 4000 different species of mammal in the world and only about 3% of them actually mate for life. Have a guess as to whether or not humans are included in that statistic.

 

Again i don't care what people wanna do with their lives. It's entirely the individual's business whether they believe in love and loving for life, or just attraction. But it makes me so furious when people pass judgement on those (myself included) that want something more and wait for all those first exciting moments to be shared with a particular someone special, that i just want to get something in my hands and break it!

 

I'd just really like to know what is supposed to be so impressive about a person who seems to have nothing else to define themself except for the number of people's pants they've gotten into.

 

*sigh* On the other hand since this type of attitude has become the norm and i hear about people's exploits nearly every day i'm beginning to wonder...

 

I'm one of the people that's always believed since childhood that there must be something more to it than that. I've never been in a relationship of any type, for any length of time. But honestly i'm certain that i've felt the sensation of love. I mean that i know what it feels like for someone to be the first and last thing i think of every day. And what it's like knowing that one person can make you feel at peace just by being there.

 

There has only ever been one person i've ever seriously wanted to spend my entire life and more with so far, and with my feelings for that person being unrequited, and if 20 years of going without all those first time experiences (holding hands, first kiss etc) is as long and pathetic as everyone seems to think it is now...

 

...I'm starting to think, was i wrong afterall?

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  • Rose Dark Thorn silver member
    May 22, 2008
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    You're not wrong at all, honey. I understand and relate to how you feel completely.

    I have been with Robert (who is not my fiance for almost a year, and we actually wear our weddings rings and are considered married, though we don't have a marriage license) in a real relationship since I was fifteen years old, and I will be twenty-one at the end of July.

    As a teenager, a part of me did regret not experimenting...I will admit it. When I found out I was bisexual, I had a had time accepting not being able to experiment in that.

    However, I do not regret staying with Robert all this time because what we have together is special. It is a strong love, and our bond is unbreakable. I wouldn't trade that for any petty experience with anyone else, and to be quite honest, I wouldn't be half as comfortable sharing sexual experience with anyone else besides him. He is the one person I am completely comfortable around in almost all things, and that is something I would not be willing to give up for anything, even the chance to know what it is like to have a relationship with a woman.

    I know exactly what you feel in this, and have gone through it myself. Robert was my very first in everything. I had an online relationship with a girl once....while I was still with Robert...but I was stupid and was blinded, and it hardly counts. It barely lasted more than a week anyway, so...it doesn't really matter.

    But my point is, how you feel about it is exactly how I feel. Sex needs to be meaningful for me. I am all about sentimentality. There's nothing wrong with that. It makes me angry as well that people at your workplace would think less of that girl for following her heart and doing what she thinks will make her happy.

    And another thing. Not once have I EVER gotten sick of Robert, and I have known him my entire life. I live with him, and I see him every day; I saw him every day when I didn't live with him. A friend of mine warned me of getting sick of each other...but it has never ever happened with either of us. We are extremely attached to one another.

    Don't take their petty words to heart so, Jon. There is nothing wrong with how you feel. I support it 100%.

    (Robert never had any sexual contact with anyone before me, and it started when he was 19 going on 20.)


  • Lost Vampyre Angel
    May 20, 2008
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    well first of all it is awful how people can say them things about relationships, that just shows no hope for love or commitment, and im with you on the face that one person for life, though ive had many relationships if i found one that i was steady with id love to spend my life with that one person
    as for the thing about you, and your love:
    your sweet in the sense that youd wait forever for the girl but honestly if she isnt givin you the same feelings back as you have for her, and if she shows no hope in having any, i would suggest finding someomne new, evan if it takes foreverm for some there are people out thee for them, ones who when they see EACHOTHER not just one person the other, when they lock gazes they know they want to spend the rest of thier lifes with eachother,
    and i promise you there is someone out there for you, but i fear if you hold on to someone that doesnt feel about you as you do them, then find a new lover if thier is no signs with one,
    someone once siad to me: love is like a rollercoaster, ups and down, and loops and sometimes you have to go backwards in love, but evantually you find one person you want ti be with forever, and theykll feel the same too,
    love ya,
    kitty xxx


    • Rane
      May 20, 2008
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      Yeah i know, just doesn't make easier. Anyway, i only would wait for a person if they actually wanted me to. Don't worry if i'm 30 and still single it'll just be cos i'm a grotesque wretch and not because i haven't opened myself to the possibility that there might be more than one perfect person for me out there.

      Thanks Bri