This is mainly for those who've been a member of this website for the past few years; however, this also applies to those who feel as certain members on what constitutes negative feedback. I'm here to tell you, in my opinion, what is negative, and what isn't negative when someone leaves a comment on your work.
The saying that goes like:
My mother always told me that if you have nothing nice to say don't say anything at all.
What this phrase doesn't apply to:
1. A person who points out spelling errors, grammatical errors, or any sort of error found in your work.
When a member, such as myself, takes the time to read your work, and we see errors, it's out of respect for you as a writer that we are pointing out these errors. It isn't because we're on this high horse, and when we point out these errors that we are attempting to belittle you, or make you think that we're better than you or anything. We are just trying to help improve the work in which you wish to share with those on this website.
When you respond back with profanity, vulgarities, or anything of such accord just because someone took the time out to not only read your work but to point out errors, and to help you better present what you wish others to read you're only making yourself look bad, and not them.
You should be happy that a person actually read your work, didn't skim it, make a comment that amounts to nothing just so you can return the favor and read their work. Because that's what most people on this website do. They do not read the entirety of what you wrote, they just skim it, or not read it at all, and then make a generic comment just so you can read their work, and perhaps praise it.
2. Going with #1, when someone makes a comment where the bulk of their comment is pointing out errors, and less about commenting on the content (or at all) this doesn't mean that they dislike your work. A lot of people who take the time to point out these errors see a potential for you as a writer that they choose to take the time out to make the comments in which they do to help you improve your craft. The amount of errors that they may find in your work is probably hindering on them understanding what you're saying. If you fix the errors then that helps them better understand what you wrote for them to respond on the content.
I realize that there are people that are on this website, or on any website in general that are here mainly for the "fun" of it, and that's fine. But if someone still takes out the time to try to help you improve your work, you shouldn't get upset over such a thing. If you don't want to read it, then make some sort of notation in your author's notes that you don't wish to have critiques, and those who give it will not give it a critique, and most likely won't approach your work in the future. It's that simple. Of course, there are those who still may give a critique anyway but realize if they give it anyway they see a potential in your writing of greatness. Take it as a compliment, and not an insult.
When you get angry over nothing, you only make yourself look bad, not them. However, what you do to those who critique, is that when you do make a big deal out of nothing you're preventing that person to want to help other writers on this website because you're abusing them for something that they thought they were doing to help.
Many people, including myself, wish to have people critique their work but most do not know how people are going to respond because of those on this website who use vulgarities when someone critiques their work.
So, when you think they are belittling you, you are the one who is actually belittling them.
This website has been here for the public since 2001. And, there are still members today that have been a member since 2001. A lot of those members remember this website as a Learning website. Where poets come together and help each other with their craft.
You should also realize that the amount of members back then was considerably lower than it is now. So, the "veterans" of this website do take into account that there are people who are here mainly for the "fun" of it, yet you should realize that those who have been members here since the beginning still look at this website as being a place where writers come together to help other writers better themselves.
The "Learn" section hasn't always been there, and learning shouldn't be just secluded to that area.
3. A person who suggests to you how you could better write your poem. These are just suggestions, you do not have to take the advice, they are there for you to consider if you wish to improve your work. If you do not, then don't take the suggestions.
Not even the best writers on this website always takes suggestions by other writers whether as good as them, or not. Some do. But the difference between a lot of them, and most others on this website is that they don't respond in a vulgar manner because someone critiqued their work.
If you're a person who wants to be published in a magazine, or online magazine etc. taking the advice of those who've been published, those who give in-depth critiques are a tool for you to move your work forward to such goals. What you perceive as them being negative is nothing compared to what actual Publishers will say about your work.
If you just post your work here as a hobby then when someone leaves such comments on your work just say, "Thank You." and move on.
When a person comments on your work, they are commenting on your work and not you personally. I know a lot of people do not see the difference but there is quite a difference. They are reading a poem, they are not thinking about the personal life of the person who wrote it, and how they can try to improve the writer's life to better suit their own needs. That isn't a reality. People don't do that when they read poetry, and wish to help improve it to be better. They are commenting, and reviewing the poem itself, and all comments made on it, are on the poem, and not you.
Especially if you enter your work into a Contest. The host of the Contest is to determine based on how well written a work is on deciding who's going to place in the Contest, yet I've seen many times where a person would critique an entry, and then get yelled at by the person who wrote the work that they entered into the Contest. If you're going to enter a Contest, be sure to realize you may get critiqued. You're asking them to critique your work just by entering.
People need to learn the difference between those who critique the work, to those who criticize the person.
My mother always told me that if you have nothing nice to say don't say anything at all.
What this phrase does apply to:
1. A person who approaches your work, and then says things as:
"This sucks."
"You can't write."
"Don't quit your day job."
this applies to that quote. You see the difference?
Realize, when you attack someone who was trying to help you better improve your poem and/or writing skills, you're doing one of two things:
1. You're making it hard for that person to critique other peoples works because they are afraid of the negative responses they will get back.
2. You're making it possible for them to attack you personally.
Where you thought they were attacking you before personally for the comments you deemed to be negative on your work, isn't anything to what you'll allow them to bring to the table when you start attacking them unjustly.
Think before you react.
-Nam
Add a comment
Comments
1 - 32 of 32
-
TOTALLY ACCURATE!
I leave HUGE critiques sometimes, and i feel really bad because most of it is errors, when i like their story or poem. if i don't like it, i don't bother to comment - i leave comments that will help authors who need help, not throwing a lifeline to someone without the arms to catch it!
And I offer loads of suggestions and revisions for stories (not so many for poems, although when i do, they are generally needed - if not what i recommend, something different at least) and then read people complaining that we ruin their creative talent by telling them to change stuff. I never EVER word it like that. you could try this, to ease the flow, or, ___ would be more visual etc. -
Aww, come on. Haven't you ever seen a babbler with a big head write some lame "poem" and just thought "I think I'll let him have it". I'm guilty of using all three of those lines I shouldn't use. It usually provokes a different kind of creative writing and clever use of explicatives. I'm wondering if giving a hack a damn it doll doesn't free up an emotional blockage in their chi, thus allowing free flow of real thoughts etc. etc.
Personally, I like it when people hide behind the internet and give me their most heartfelt opinion (swearing and all) -
Again sorry
I'll take your words to heart.My wife had been on my case all day and I just took it wrong.I'll try to watch my spelling,grammar and punctuation for those it does make a difference to. -
TYTYTY
Well said, well met, well wrought!! -
Here Here!! ~pounds the table~
-
preach on
i am new here...and have appreciated all criticism thus far. for any other newbies, this is precisely right. if we want to write well we must also desire to learn. i rarely meet people who don't want to be better & quite frankly it scares me if i do.
it's good to hear how this site started. there is still that here, if it's a comfort. atleast i can say that's been my experience. i think w/so many people, it's hard to get too personal with anyone. it is obvious that there's a certain touchiness about suggestions and critiques. one very kind individual sent me a personal message when a particular line of mine did not seem right to him. perhaps that's a good way to handle any unsure critique. discretion is always a good thing and the egos of us humans are so very fragile though we try to act so big. it seemed to me that the member questioning my work did so w/the utmost respect & kindness.
i am rambling now. good read. great point. -
Nice, easy to understand helpful information. Thank you for taking the time to write and explain things in such an easy to understand manner.
-
Well penned. Ditto...though I do like to approach said poet 'personally' if I find something...not blast it all over their poem page.
Cheers
Linda
-
Amazing
This is a wonderful column. So informative and truly made me think differently on the subject.
I have to admit that I never react rudely, but I sometimes am sensitive when it comes to the fear of receiving a harsh critique. I say "fear of" because I have never received one but being one who is there to listen to others, I have heard rumors about contest holders who are cruel and ruthless when critiquing lol , and some names were thrown around, so I have avoided those contests ....Now that I have been on AP for 3 years, I have allowed myself to wander into a few contests of those "dreaded hosts" 
and found them to be very gracious to me and I have been given the kindest of comments and was so thrilled, knowing they were genuine, often placing as well, but never found the courage to enter one of your contests even after sitting looking at the contest page so intrigued, and coming back to it many times, until it closed
but after reading this, I would enter the next one you hosted, without fear....
Thank you, Nam. Nice to meet you.
Lynda
-
I appreciate your honesty
I just joined and am glad to have found this column along with the posts to it as I was thinking of quiting just about as soon as I joined. There seemed to be a good deal of mediocre to bad poetry on this site receiving very positive comments without much honesty as to the quality of the writing. I was beginning to wonder if this site would afford the opportunity to actually receive straight-forward and honest evaluations.
-
You've been an encouragement to me, and we are strangers. Too bad it was necessary to have to write a column such as this. You did a good thing. Thank You! I hope you come and visit like I do every now and again.
April Nicole
-
Here here.
-
Excellent
This issomething that should be mandatory for each new member of AP - they are welcomed, and encouraged to read and comment on other poems, without having the first idea of how to do so.
-
-
Excellent column
Please don't leave, Nam!
- jo -
AMEN AMEN
-
Again fantastic
Is there a tutorial on critiquing? Because I feel the same as shastadaisey123 and I hope I’m here to help as learn. I hope I can make more friends with what I have to say than enemies. -
Fantastic
This is just what I want here people help people.
I’m glad I read it
-
Spot on///needs to be shared and I hope you felt better at the same time too of course
Cindy -
Fuck that. Being nice takes all the fun out of everything.
Good to see you're alive and writing. Haven't been on here much for a while. -
I am adding the link for this column to my page - I hope you don't mind. This is something that all should read! I will admit that I am more often then not too afraid to leave a critical comment especially if I don't know the person because I don't want to be insulted in return. It is sad though that people choose to be so sensitive when this is after all a place of learning. Here for fun or not, we all do learn off each other. It is sad to that it makes it hard for people who really do see potential of a good writer and who just want to help. I hope this does not defer you and the other's from leaving a critical comment as I for one do appreciate it... as you say, if I don't agree with the critique I can just say 'thanks' and not take the advice
THANK YOU again for posting this column
-
Excellent
David, first, I want to say thank you for writing this column. In 2004, this website was apart of my daily routine. I "felt" the presence of some very talented people, yet, I must admit, I joined for "fun" and to fill my days after my husband died and when my eyesight began to fail more rapidly.
Then, I met people like you and so many other writers that critiqued with a LOUD voice. I was offended & easily upset at that time. But, I now realize, that critiquing and honesty was a gift and I treasure it.
I almost left the site about a year ago, mainly because it started becoming like all the other sites. Rather boring and absolutely filled with a lot of "newcomers" who wrote for "fun" and, although they wanted their work read, they became as a 2 year old with a bad case of the "temper tantrum syndrome" it One read and critiqued or gave suggestions.
I have returned to AP, in spite of all of this...because I treasure the "good Poets" & what they have to say. I have decided this. If we choose to write and leave our work open to view...we should be adult anough to acept and think about what others say. I write about mostly true life experience and the Lord knows,at 60+, I have a lot to say.
Constructive criticsm is the 'BACKBONE" of AP...if vulgarity and immature voices scream loudly, then I must admit, I question the level of intelligence & talent of the author, & most probably will not read their work routinely.
I applaud you for this column and once again, I will say tha, you and please don't ever quit reading what I write and telling me the things you see wrong. Freda -
nice.
someone reacted badly again eh? -
-
That's an every day thing for me when I comment; no, this isn't based on someone's reaction. This is based on what someone wrote in their author area in a Contest. They wrote the title of this column (but with the "my mother always told me" part in it) and aimed it at the judge who was going to read her entry. And the way she worded what she said basically meant, "If you critique this, you're a big meanie!".
So, I wrote this to vent from having to read that idiocy. -
-
*nods*
-
-
-
Wondrous, encouraging and mature.
My jaw sometimes drops when I see the rude comments left by poets who received helpful critique by their readers ... I am a member of this poetry community since January 2002 (if I remember correctly) and I truly appreciate the effort some poets put into trying to help their co-poets. It is wondrous to grow when we all can simply enjoy and enhance each other's efforts.
I am Afrikaans, and I thank my constant and patient "Editors", like for instance Margaret Gibson, who truly take time to point out errors.
Thank you, David, for a much needed column.
Myra -
I have read this several times now and feel it is well-worth being spotlighted - or even put in with the rules to be read when someone signs up for AP. Excellent message here.
I've only been at AP for just over a year, but some of the comments I've seen give me a very bad taste in my mouth, make me want to leave the site and look for a 'nicer' place. And has also made me leary of saying much in my comments. I would think a 'serious' writer would want to know if they have typo's or lines that don't read smoothly - if their friends just all comment "great, this should be published"....well, they are in for a rude awakening when the general public read their works.
I could say more, but won't.
This is an excellent column.
best wishes -
Spotlight?
--Aden -
A very good column full of excellent advice that I hope more than a few on here will actually pay attention to.
Some people need to learn how to word a critique/comment. It's possible to tell someone their writing is ... not good... without coming right out and saying it's crap. .... "What a unique story! I don't think I've ever seen a metaphor used in quite that way before. The grammar and spelling are up to date, and shows the growing trend of typing errors on purpose to reflect the symbiotic relationship with the internet and society as a whole." - Part of a comment left by me, way back in 2003 when AP and SW were one.
Om May 7, I'll have been on AP for 6 years. I've noticed a huge change in my writing, some from the comments I've received, and some, oddly enough, from the comments I've given. When faced with someone else's poem and trying to be constructive, it sort of filters down to your own writing, and taking your own advice.
And to those that say spelling or grammar doesn't matter...
-
This should be featured as an official column or whatever they do.
-
Life's A Beach
I’ve been on this site since 2005, and there have been times when people would comment and critique my work pointing out mistakes I’ve made… Some of those people were not to tactful with what they had to say. Still they were right about the mistakes they found in my work. Those were days when I took personal the comments as if they were personal attacks on me. And though they were right I looked at how the critique was presented. I felt- insult to work, insult the writer.
Some were kind and offered alternate thoughts and suggestions. When this was done, I found it more bearable to swallow my pride and take the suggestions seriously.
Today I am less sensitive to other’s critiques and comments. Especially to those people I have grown to know and respect as knowledgeable writers. Even to those strangers who have taken the time to read my entry, and found simple overlooked errors. I have learned to adept myself to making the necessary corrections to refine my work. I am thankful and grateful to those who use tact and make suggestions for corrections. This has helped me, more ways than one. Many times
I have seen gold cups presented to poems and writings with errors. I would be embarrassed to have a cup on my writings with spelling or grammar errors contained in it.
I am not one who considers himself a master in grammar and English. Nor am I pompous to believe I am a publishable and worthy writer. I do however point out errors I find in peoples work. Sometimes on the contest page or in private I.M. offering my thoughts... Most of my critique is how the writing makes me feel or touches me…it may be with poetic nature my response will be. I don’t feel I am qualified to go further pointing out grammar and spelling being they are not my strong points, and feel those better qualified to do so will…
I have learned to find enjoyment in writing many different styles and genre through challenges many other writers here inspire in me. This too is something I am grateful for.
I enter contest to be read and critiqued, if someone points out errors when I am in a contest, I most likely I will not win a cup, even if corrections were made. But bottom line is. My work was read, commented on and refined because, someone took the time to read and offer suggestions.
I am thankful to people like you Nams…for taking the time to read and bring to my attention things I can do to make my writing skills sharper and more refined by your honesty and integrity…Not for ignoring my mistakes and leaving me to look illiterate…I may not like being corrected, but I cannot argue with genius
LOL
Thanks for bringing this to our attentions…I understand perfectly how you feel and agree with you—wholehearted
Oh please don’t critique this reply LOL
Malabu
-
Hear, hear.
Bummer most of your readers already know this about you. I can think of dozens of times when I put north of an hour into critiquing a poem I thought was promising, only to get blasted with something like, "Who the hell do you think you are? I don't give a damn about your input, anyway!"
If there were a way to promote columns, I'd probably promote this one.
Adding your comment:
1 - 32 of 32
