Memoirs of a Mr. Mom

"Before you judge someone, walk a mile in their shoes." One of my dads favorite quotes.

Epilogue, a Dedication.

Before I start getting into this project, there is a little something I want to talk about. It's nearing on the fourth anniversary of my father passing on. The thing about that is, that he died the day after my youngest son, Gabriel Lewis, was born. He knew he had another grandson, but never had the pleasure to meet him.

I remember sitting there in the hospital, holding him, and thinking. Just thinking of how my father was going to be so proud of his bouncing baby grandson. How dad was finally going to be proud of me. That was something that I didn't, unfortunately, hear very often in my life. Looking back in hindsight, and knowing what I've learned since he has passed away, I know my dad loved me. I know he was extremely proud of me. But growing up, he had a funny way of showing it. I'm not mad at him. I'm not even hurt about that anymore. I've came to peace with my father, in a way I never could when he was alive. That sounds strange, doesn't it? Oh well, it's all just day to day life.

My point about the whole subject of not hearing how much he was proud of me, or even that he liked me, let alone loved me, is this; I make it a point to never let a day go by without telling my sons how much I love them, and how very proud I am of them. So what if you're a man. Tell your kids you love them once in a while, it won't kill you. And, come one day down the road, you'll be glad you did.

It's coming up on the fourth anniversary of my fathers passing, and I didn't really know how much he cared for me until after he was already gone. You see, he was the type of person that didn't talk much about how he felt. That must be a universal male thing, for his generation at least.

Growing up around that man was, at times, a living hell. When I was younger, he had a bit of a problem with alcohol. When he wasn't drinking, he was a completely different person. But when he was drinking, get out of his way and just be quiet. There were times that I would really rather not talk about, but let's just say he got quite mean. As a matter of fact, I still have a couple scars, physically, from a beating or two. Now that I have gotten older, I realize that it was mostly the alcohol talking. Of course, reading this, you are probably thinking, "What an asshole!" Yes, at times, he could be. But then again, when he wasn't drunk, he was alright to be around.

Now, don't get me wrong. My dad and I did have a few fun times. Mind you, he wasn't the type to go out fishing with his kids, or run around outside playing games like catch with them. But there were still good times. One of his favorite things to do was to get us kids in the car, and just go for a drive. We had no real destination, at least none that I could fathom. We would just drive around until we came to an intersection. Then, he would ask us what way to go. We would drive around for most of the day. Most of the time we would stop and grab a bite to eat from McDonalds. Sometimes we had a little picnic lunch. It was nice, because those were the days we could really get to know him.

Now that I've had my time to rant and reminisce, It's time to say a word about this project. It's called the Memoirs of a Mr. Mom for a reason. I'm disable and can't work, but my wife does work. We have three kids. And besides, I can't tell you how many times I've heard older gentlemen talking about the one thing that they regret in their lives. And nine times out of ten, it's usually that they didn't spend enough time with their children. My kids are at the age where they still mom and dad know everything. Except for my oldest son. He's starting to get to the age where he is having second thoughts. He's almost at the age where he will soon stop believing in magic, Santa Claus, and the Easter Bunny too, unfortunately. However, he is a great kid, and an inspiration to me, everyday.

The reason I'm writing the "Memoirs of a Mr. Mom," Is simply because I have been a Mr. Mom for the last few months. Oh, and guys, don't let appearances fool you. The life and job of a housewife with kids, is actually harder than it looks. Trust me, and take my word for that one. Sometimes I think it would be easier just to go out and get a "real" job of my own. However, I wouldn't trade the time I'm getting with my kids for anything.

But, it has been an adventure. Sometimes it's been funny, sometimes sad. Sometimes happy, and a whole lot of mad. But it's worth it. I also want to let all the readers know, that this is based on my experiences with reality. Not everything written within is true, or has happened personally to myself, but it is based on true experiences. Some details may have been changed from what actually happened, for the protection of the children mentioned within.
Thanks.

Chapter One, a learning experience.

One of the many things I've discovered in my adventures (and yes, I do mean to use the word adventure here) as a Mr. Mom, or if you would prefer a "stay at home dad," is that every single day is a learning experience.

Now, by learning experience, I don't just mean all the little life discoveries your kids will make along their path to maturity, I mean all the stuff you, as Dad, will learn with them.

One thing I have learned, is that when a VCR light blinks, it means that it's hungry. And I also learned that when the VCR is hungry, the thing it wants most in the world is not a VCR tape, but a peanut butter and grape jelly sandwich. Hard as that is to believe, I know. But apparently, it's the truth as a four year old sees it.

But speaking of the whole VCR thing with the PB&J sandwich, The most valuable lesson I learned is that parents really can't have valuable objects just laying around the house anymore. And believe me, if your a new parent, or are planning on becoming a parent soon, please, for your OWN sake, make sure all your valuable household items are put up. I don't mean put up as in on top of the fridge either. You can take that to the bank. I swear to god that my kids can just as easily get something from the top of the fridge as they can from the floor.

You are probably sitting there scratching your head thinking "well, they wouldn't be able to get it if you were watching them closely." and to that, my remark would be "BULLSHIT!" All it takes for a child to gte into something they aren't supposed to have is one nanosecond. And, word of advice to all you new parents out there (and potential parents), is that after a few times of having your flash drives loaded with valuable family pictures used as a scooper for sand in the sandbox, that you'll be sitting there thinking "now, why was it I didn't listen to that guy before?"

Parents can and should have good things for themselves. Yes, our children are our most prized investment in the future of mankind, but a parents sanity and well-being should rank up there a close second, in my opinion. After all, if children are our future, then we as parents, are the custodians of that same future.

Another learning experience I discovered were ways to keep your sanity. You may laugh at that, but there are only so many raspberry-blowing contests, and gibberish conversations a person can stand before some little vestiges of your brain snap into tiny little fragments. Spending time with your children is an amazing thing; sometimes it seems as if they are growing right before your eyes. But yes, a parent, as a person, does need time for adult conversation and a little privacy once in a while. My favorite time of the day is after the kids get on the school bus and the housework is all done, the better half is off to work... There is a sense of serenity and recuperation all throughout the house. Then you get a precious couple hours to play a video game, catch up on a favorite TV show, read a book, or just go for a peaceful little stroll about the neighborhood. As a stay at home parent, you know those couple hours that I'm talking about. Those couple little hours will almost wash away an entire week of late homework, crying about a favorite toy being AWOL, dipping rise crispies out of the fishtank, and assorted other strange happenings in the house.

As a parent, I have caught myself saying some strange things, that taken in any other context would, at best of times make no sense what-so-ever, or worst case wind you up in a mental institution. "That does NOT go up your nose!" is a pretty common one that most people have heard at least once in there life. I was at the Emergency Room with my youngest son; which I will explain later, mind you, when I saw one of the strangest things I have ever seen in my life. I saw a young mother and her four or five year old daughter there. Out of curiousity, I asked why they little girl was there. I never fully, to this day, understood that a hersheys chocolate kiss could fit up the nostril of a four year old. Boy, was I mistaken.