They say "nobody's worth your tears, and the one who is will never make you cry", where does that put you, buddy?
I never allowed anybody to run my life like you did(still do).
I never allowed anybody to affect me the way you did(still do).
Why do I hate myself for every word typed against you?
Why do I erase two sentences for every new one written?
Why these special concessions for you, and just so you can break my heart one more time?
Its times like these, when I feel, did you even EVER love me? Coz if you did, you would never do things you did, to me.
Can you hate me strong enough to prick me with needles all over, like you do now?
Scorching me with acid words, and then behaving as if nothing has happened.
Everybody is nice to the one who is right, but its when he is wrong, that he needs people to say that they still love him, and no matter what, WILL always stand by him.
When you know me like the way you do, it kills me, to think you can accuse me of doing stuff you know I would never do.
Still, like everytime else, I call you up again & again, making a total ass of myself.
But its time.
Its time I shift+deleted you from my life, but what is it that makes me hit the restore button every time I put you in the recycle bin?
Its time you stopped treading all over me.
Its time I regained my self-esteem, which I had so happily mortgaged to you when you had asked for it.
Its time I ceased crying in front of you, pleading to be forgiven.
Its time I let go of my 'forever' dreams.
Its time I stopped reaching for the phone every time you hung up on me.
"Swallow me then spit me out
For hating you I blame myself
Seeing you, it kills me now
No, I don't cry, on the outside
Anymore."
-Kelly Clarkson
Why do people you love most give you the deepest and sharpest cut?
UPDATE:
I was totally gone and back to square one when you smiled at me(your perfect melt-my-heart one), but thanks again for ignoring me the rest of the day, thanks for reminding me of the promise I made to myself yesterday.
You know very well, today was important for me, you know I get cold feet while speaking in public, where was the reassuring smile when I needed it the most?
Neither a comforting glance after it.
Even people who didn't know me said it was nice(so what if they lied!), but you maybe just don't have time enough.
I am totally trying to push you out of my life, and the sad thing is, you don't even care.
No I dont cry,
On the outside,
Anymore.
On the outside,
Anymore.
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It never fails to amaze me how they turn angry and bitter when they are the ones who have trampled our hearts..
No, I'm not perfect. I made mistakes, too, BUT, I don't judge him by his.. and well, apparently I am the scum of the earth now.
I walked away from my life for a stupid man. I'll never do it again. I have only been repaid with spite and cruelty.
Ugh.
I really like this
I really wish I knew how to shift+delete him and actually make it stick.
(p.s. you haven't scared me off yet
)
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The lengths and extremes we go, to please people, and the heartbreak of their only statement being "hmm, nice.. whats the chemistry homework anyway?" (!!!)
Thanks for dropping in, and dont worry lady, i'll scare you soon enough, its just that school doesnt allow me time for ANYthing else these days, so I havent written one single thingy for the past one million years....
Lots and lots of love and cheers, shuvi
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related to ur fite wid sui???
i m totlly unawares...nd i can SEE ND FEEL a distance b/w us, darling.... -
This is exactly, the very feeling I have right now. The exact, same things I want to scream out.
"Its time I shift+deleted you from my life, but what is it that makes me hit the restore button every time I put you in the recycle bin? Its time I stopped reaching for the phone every time you hung up on me"
YES, It's time. To forget those people; and push them away from our lives; for they, and only they will be able to gash us so badly.
You just read my mind here. The time's here- when WE have to wipe our sorrows, stop crying; and start laughing at the biggest mistake of both our and their lives.
Their mistake: Losing us.
Our mistake: Meeting them.
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I love you, and the fact I am not alone.. Right now, I feel bad for writing this
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