so what's up, paper?
I have some issues today. I think thatishould be commited. I'm at work but i want to be dead.
I want to be listless in a room with nothing but a window so i can look out and cry with the rain. i'm not happy nor do i care about anything or anybody anymore. i just want to be left alone. im not running anymore...everything has all ready caught up to me. im angry at everyone; last night i screamed as loud as i could in front of chris. i was mad. mad at the car mad at him mad at me mad at josh mad at micheal mad at everyone and everythhing whether they deserved it or not. i dont care.
i cried all night. i feel like crying now. long slow racking sobs that tear my whole body apart. i feel like just walking out the door and never looking back. just walk away from everybody and everything. i cant kill myself. but i feel like finding someone who can. i dont have the guts to do it. i would want it to be quick. dont make me think about what im doing. everything every body does just upsets me. i dont know why it just does so i can stop getting upset.
i just dont want to be breathing anymore.
everytime i open my mouth doesnt matter where i am, i say the wrong thing. nobody listens nobody cares. not even my parents. but i still go to them they are the ones that are always there for me maybe not in spirit but they are there .....
i want to stop breathing now.
serious ventage
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I care. I would listen to you. I feel the same way at times, I know how all of that is. But trust me, it's not worth it to die... not to kill yourself or have another person kill you... (Even if there's another person, it's still suicide... it's not worth it.) I'm here if you want to talk... I"m all eyes... (seeing that it's on computer, I can't really actually TALK to you... not with voice... but I can talk to you through text like this.
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hun.. i am always here for you. I have always been and always will be. I love you. And I will be by your side until you tell me no. and even then, I will be within shouting distance. I am not trying to suffacate you. I want to be able to be there when you need to fall apart. I want to be there to help you.
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There are people who are willing to care and to listen, and I know we don't know each other or anything, but even so, I would still listen if you wanted me to.
It's there if you want it. You just have to start typing.
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