My Issue With Santa

SANTA IS A FREAK!

In a column by Tarja, she asked whether or not we ever believed in santa… well… I think I had a good description of the RED draped madman. As young minds we are told that he is watching. That he has our names on a list of naughty or nice… And that he checks it twice. A man who supposedly has lived for hundreds upon hundreds of years, watching young children so closely, that he knows their every move.

CREEPY!

He lives in the North Pole, with his wife, who must feed him and his group of enslaved elves, whom of course are worked to the bone to provide toys for good children. Have you been good this year little girl? Because Santa has a little something for you!

To make matters worse, Santa breaks into every ones houses once a year, steals food and leaves behind wrapped packages…. I mean… those packages could be anything! And in fact he has been known to leave children lumps of coal.. hello… what do you use coal for? Arsonous activities! He could be leaving wrapped explosives as far as any parent knows.

Red is a color that is known for many different things… it is the color of royalty in Spain, the color of harlotry in England, the color that represents fire, and the devil…

Red has many different allusions, but Having a fat white guy wrapped in fuzzy red, who has a horde of enslaved elves, who leaves “mysterious” packages all over the place, and who watches your children at all times, does not sound like the safest tale to be encouraging our children with…

Better to read them Harry Potter....

Update: After further studies, I have found Santa to be guilty of Animal Cruelty! Although reindeer are ingenious to the north pole, they have the same rights as any animal not to be beaten or driven well past their limits. Santa, as any one with eyes can see, is a very over-weight man, and not only does he force his eight ill-feed reindeer to cart his weight, the weight of his grossly over the top crafted sleigh, toys for every NICE child all over the WORLD, and coal for all the NAUGHTY, but to pull all these things in ONE night. Some one should call PETA...