Dear Dalaney...

I thought it would be fun if we had
a "Dear Abby" kind of column for poets
with questions about life...

you may get a humorous reply, you may
get an answer you've been looking for...

Just send me a message and I'll answer
your questions and queries to the best
of my ability and feature both in the
column weekly...

So, are you wondering if you should change

your aftershave?

 

Do you really think everyone talks about

you behind your back?

 

Are your poems a little frumpy lately?

 

 

Welcome to Dear Dalaney -

 

a weekly column for the forlorn, the love

sick, the obcessed, the curious, the bored.

 

Just write me a question or tell me your

tale, and I will give you an answer or some

damn good advise.

 

Lane 

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Comments

1 - 93 of 93

  • Ithica silver member
    April 30
    Edit | Reply

    Dear Dalaney

    Amera thinks I'm psychotic... Should I seek out a competent shrink or just enjoy my obscure skew of this world... hehe! Glad you came back!!! I missed you!!! Ithica

  • paulcreates silver member
    March 22
    Edit | Reply
    Dear Dalaney, why are you so reclusive? When I'm depressed the best thing for me is to talk to other people. Why isolate yourself?
    Paul

  • SweetJane
    March 4
    Edit | Reply

    Dear Delany



    Dear Delaney,

    I have been suffering from writer's block for so long. I simply can't seem to get out of this rut.
    I don't know where to find the inspiration. Maybe I have adhd? It seems like there's something in the way of my writing. I wonder if my poetry is just terrible. My question is: What inspires you to write? How can I get back to writing again. Or should I just give up writing entirely?
    Maybe I'm not passionate enough?
    Thanks in advance for any advice.

    • cricketjeff gold member
      March 4
      Edit | Reply
      Write a limerick or three! They always seem to turn my muse back on. That or remember to go to sleep at night, Oh damn that's what I forgot today...

    • Dalaney gold member
      March 4
      Edit | Reply

      Dear Rebel...

      I have chronic writers block...it's awful. I slam doors and I flip off drivers. My suggestion to you is this: Pour yourself a drink of whatever, lay on your bed, and feel sorry for yourself. Honestly. It works. As you are drowning in "woe is me" something begins to happen. You start looking at yourself from within. It's weird. Now, if that doesn't work, I simply step away for a while and eat something full of calories. This usually makes me happy and more in the mood to tackle the block. Your poetry is not terrible. I've read it. In fact, it's very good. Just remember this: words never go away. They will find you again. Love, Lane

  • ukelova
    February 15
    Edit | Reply
    Dear Dalaney - I didn't have a good Valetines Day. In fact it was disastrous.

    My gf's ex-husband is getting married next month and she is upset that some of her friends are attending his wedding and 'celebrating' the fact (her word).
    He was a real prick to her and a control freak, and she resents him any kind of happiness. That's ok, I can understand that.

    But she often brings him up in conversations and I feel like he's always there in our relationship. Most times I don't mind as it's healthy for her and me to talk about her problems. In fact, it's important for our relationship.

    But it happened again on Valentines and i told her that it was upsetting me; that it seemed like he was always getting between us on our romantic evenings. She got upset about this and left.

    She wrote me an email saying she needs time on her own to think about things.

    I miss her and am worried for her. I would like to contact her, but should I leave her some space for her thoughts?

    Any advice about this problem would be most helpful.

    Worried and concerned,
    BJ.


  • Tennessee-Joe silver member
    February 9
    Edit | Reply

    Dear Lane

    I have a very good friend, that is deaf. Now this friend has a web page where she has one of those midi music playing things. Now my question-how does she know what's playing?
    Yours,
    Dumb Boy

  • zochit2me gold member
    December 31, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Dear Lane

    I just wanted to wish you a very Happy New Year and I hope that 2008 brings you everything a Georgia peach like you desires...
    Love your poetry...
    Keep up the writing dear.

    Becky

    PS. Also I have one itsy bitsy question concerning AP and since I can't seem to get a freakin straight answer out of the moderators or from submitting a ticket I figured what the heck...ask lane.

    My question is...
    I want to customize my page kind of like yours where I can arrange things like I want to. But I cannot for the life of me figure out how to do it. I have gotten very frustrated trying and don't want to lose the page I have right now either so if you could kindly post me some instructions on how to do this I would be eternally greatful to you and perhaps send you my first born child in exchange for the info. She is grown and does not require much maintence

    Signed,

    Eternally

  • 245Trioxin
    December 30, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Dear Dalaney

    So this kid comes up to me all worried about some test he has to take and he asks me why Polar Bears live in the North Pole. I had a theory, so I told him…

    Polar bears live in the North pole while Penguins live in the South pole (primarily.) This goes back to the old testament...or the book of genesis…or Seuss, I dunno…one of those. You see, Penguins and Polar bears couldn't get along. The Polar bears kept trying to use the penguins as pillows and the Penguins used to rub up against the polar bears when they got out of the water to dry off. This led to a giant battle between the two. 1000's of them perished until one day G-D stepped in. He said "ok...I've had it with you two!" (He pointed to the polar bears and said" You...get over there" (North pole)...."and you..."(pointing to the penguins) "over there." (South pole.) "Now be quiet! and let me get back to sleep! It's Sunday for Christ sake!"

    Do you agree? Or do you have your own theory?

  • poetryality silver member
    December 29, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Dear Delaney,

    I have a bit of a delimma...I've been asked to direct a play. I've also been asked to perform in a tour. The play opens in Phoenix, Arizona on the 1st of February. My tour begins here in Cleveland on the 2nd of February. I want to do them both. I could fly out to Phoenix on Friday and return early Saturday morning to perform. Does that make any sense at all?

    Seriously,

    Renee

    • Dalaney gold member
      December 30, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Dear Seriously Renee ;)

      what is stopping you from doing both? why does it have to make sense? do what you know you are capable of doing without burning yourself out. I think you are the kind of woman who can make magic happen

      Dalaney

      over and out

  • 245Trioxin
    December 26, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Dear Dalaney,

    I can’t decide whether I want an orange or a jar of wax. Which one do you think will help me with the impetuous nova?

    Randeliciously Random

    • Dalaney gold member
      December 30, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Dear Random

      take the orange...smells better and tastes better.

      Dalaney

      over and out

    • Dalaney gold member
      December 30, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Dear Random

      take the orange...smells better and tastes better.

      Dalaney

      over and out

  • Tennessee-Joe silver member
    December 24, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Dear Aunt Lou

    I am experencing periods of crying. I just start and cant't quit for some times 30 min's. What is wrong with me?
    Boo Hoo

    • Dalaney gold member
      December 24, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Dear Boo Hoo

      Don't you know that crying is good for the soul
      and for you physically? It is a stress reliever.
      When you feel like crying, do it, and don't clock
      how long you do cry...

      I love you.


      Dalaney

      over and out

  • 245Trioxin
    December 16, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Dear Dalaney,

    Is it true that dogs often walk in circles because they are not very good at geometry?

    • Dalaney gold member
      December 24, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Dear Jay

      Yes, darling, it is true that dogs
      are not very good at geometry. Sigh.
      You must be having a slow day

      Dalaney

      over and out

  • Jimfre Talbent
    December 16, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Dear Laney,

    I recently moved quite a distance that required a 4700 mile drive. During this time, I gained roughly 17 lbs from eating fast food and then sitting for 15 hours while driving (this was over the course of six days). Now, I have become larger while off work until Jan, gaining a total of 25-ish lbs.

    I guess my question is, whom do I sue; the company that relocated me, the fast food restaurants that created me, or my wife for not stopping me?

    Also, where does one find the inspiration to make change? I was once 300 lbs, lost a grand total of 70 lbs and I do not want to put it all back on! I just do not remember where I got the stick-to-itiveness the last time!

    I was able to put down cigarettes and walk away without looking back almost two years ago. . .but I can not put down the fudge.

    Signed,

    Blubber Near the Whale Hunters

    • Dalaney gold member
      December 24, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Dear Blubber

      Don't be so quick to sue! For one thing, you'd be suing yourself

      You have the power, oh little Grasshoppah, to change your ways (look at how easily you walked away from ciggies! I am ready to light up a pine tree!) Eat what you want to eat...just eat in moderation and make love to your wife a whole helluva lot

      Dalaney

      over and out

  • zochit2me gold member
    December 6, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Dear Lane

    I have this complex about letting someone get to close to me and breaking my heart.
    My delimina is, that by having this complex I always seem to pick guys who are either already attached or do not want to get serious. I have lived/been alone for a number of years, raised my three daughters by myself and now feel it is my time to find someone to care about me. I feel like I am a good person with a good heart, a self proclaimed caregiver and yet the one person whom I feel is my soul mate was already in a relationship(not married) when we met. I know he loves/cares for me but is not willing to give her up. I know about her, but she does not know about me. I know in my heart, I should tell him it is her or me because after all what guy doesn't want his cake and eat it too...But the other part of me feels safe from no commitment. We are and always will be best of friends no matter what the out come of our relationship is. Am I crazy of what?

    Wow...
    I really got some dirty laundy

    Please help
    Becky

    • Dalaney gold member
      December 6, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Dear Becky...

      I really think you should start getting involved in things that will expand your horizons and your chances at meeting a man who thinks and feels the way you do. You have spent your life taking care of others...now, fluff your hair and do something for you. Take an art class. Go to B&N for a latte and settle down in one of their nice comfy chairs with a good book. What DO you like to do? Make a list. You sound like a very outgoing woman, and I think you'd have an easy time meeting all kinds of people. In your heart, you KNOW the answer about your "friend"...if he won't give her up, then woman, give him up. You're howling up the wrong tree, and besides, you are not a kid, you are a mature, intelligent, sexy woman. He isn't the one for you. If he was, then you wouldn't be writing to me now I say...time to do the dirty laundry and put on some fresh clothes

      Dalaney

      over and out

  • 245Trioxin
    November 28, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Dear Dalaney,

    I've been seeing this Squirrel with a crimson beak recently, we met online, she talks a big game, and about how soft her fur is etc...but really, she's just after my peanuts. I want to be cautious before I store my acorns for the winter with her, and I know it's just online and everything, but tell me....

    If you get a virus during cybersex is it considered a sexually transmitted disease?

    • Dalaney gold member
      December 16, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Dear Jay

      Well, if you ask me, (and you have) I think you ought to see what this Squirrel has in her own nest...she may have enough nuts for the both of you to spend an exceptionally warm winter together...

      There are NO std's in Cybersex...but, you may experience something called, "Repetitive Mouse Clicking" Don't ask me...I have no idea.

      Dalaney

      over and out

  • 245Trioxin
    November 28, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Dear Dalaney,

    If I wore a negatively charged magnetic suit and slept on a negatively charged magnetic bed, I would float while I slept, but I wonder... would I have nightmares about polar bears?

    • Dalaney gold member
      November 28, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Dear Freak

      ...er, I mean, Jay I most definitely think you would have traumatic nightmares and I strongly advise that you do NOT ...I repeat...Do NOT...go anywhere near the pugs.

      Dalaney,

      over and out

      • Jimfre Talbent
        December 16, 2007
        Edit | Reply

        I may be overstepping my bounds...

        As an Alaskan expert witness (used in many politicaly charged court cases involving motorhomes and wicker porch-patio furniture), might I add (as detail) that the negative charges in your suit would cause such a marvelous display in Aurora Borealis that Dream-Based Polar Bears would certainly become stunned, wow-wooed, and amorous; planning long evenings of lovemaking with furry mates. You, as a source of food, are now second priority and therefore moot.

        HOWEVER REMEMBER:

        Wake the hell up and sprint out of dodge when they are spent lest you become post-coitus snacky-cakeage.

        Hope that assuages your fears.


  • Tennessee-Joe silver member
    November 27, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Dear Dalaney

    I like to sleep with my 40 cal semiauto under the pillow next to me(in case someone breaks in I can shoot them)
    My problen is that my wife(who like never sleeps in
    the bed) does not want it there.
    Who is right?
    Should I replace it with the 38 cal snubnose?
    Gunner

    • Dalaney gold member
      November 28, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Dear Gunner

      ...it's time to put the guns away, soldier...
      all my love.

      dalaney

      over and out

  • alexandrathegreat gold member
    November 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Dear Dalaney

    Do you think it's 'cheating' if you 'cheat' or whatever with the same sex? I mean it shouldn't hurt his pride or anything right? It doesn't make me feel bad but then again it might make him but I'm scared to ask him how he feel about it cause I don't want him to get any ideas if he would or does have a problem with it. ugh....

    • Dalaney gold member
      November 23, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Chelsea

      Cheating is cheating, no matter what sex the object of your desire is...plain and simple. If you have given your heart to one, then do not do anything to cause pain...especially, for momentary pleasure. I know this sounds old fashion, but I believe in old fashion when it comes to a commitment.

      Dalaney

      Over and out

    • alexandrathegreat gold member
      November 20, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Do you not know how to answer a question like that?

  • Namita silver member
    November 14, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Dear Dalaney,

    I find this veery helpful, so I decided to ask you the problem that's bothering me to death. I am absolutely in love with this guy. He doesn't love me. I just want to get him out of my mind! I just don't know how to forget him... I try to ignore him... but... please! IT'S KILLING ME.

    Luv,

    • Dalaney gold member
      November 16, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Dear Kandy

      I think everyone has had to deal with this problem at one time or another. Be real. Understand that things like this happen and take a positive look at the whole picture. You don't have to forget him. You don't even have to ignore him. What you DO have to do is respect his wishes and move on. Sure, it's going to hurt for a while, but believe me, it's better to hurt now than hurt even more later when you are in too deep.

      Buy a pint of Ben and Jerry's and give yourself a pedicure. Love will find you when you least expect it to.

      Dalaney

      over and out

  • Namita silver member
    November 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Dear Dalaney,

    I am undergoing writer's block. Plus, I'm seriously weird nowadays. The way I write on paper is absolutely horrible. It's like, instead of writing "she tells", I write "shet ells". Instead of writing "reverse everything", I write "reverse verything". I'm dreaming of being claustrophobic, schizophrenic and stuff. What's going on?!

    Love,
    Have No Idea

    • Dalaney gold member
      November 13, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Dear Have No Idea

      ...cannabis and a warm robe...
      don't forget the cup of cocoa
      with a shot of peppermint schnapps...

      trust me.

      dalaney

      over and out

  • nordicsky silver member
    November 8, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Pictures with poetry

    Dear Agony Aunt Lane
    I’m sorry this is just a technical question on posting poetry. I would much rather have asked you about some great passionate steamy relationship.

    I’ve been thinking about adding photos to short poems. Surely the idea is to paint a picture in the reader’s imagination. On the other hand, doesn’t a photo add something to the words? Ideas please.

    Love ~ Peter~

    • Dalaney gold member
      November 8, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Dear Nephew (?) lol

      I began writing and posting poetry with images...I thought they enhanced what I wanted to say. Then, I went through (and I'm still going through) the phase of not wanting the image to distract the reader from what I am trying to say...sigh...I think, honey, it is a matter of choice and mood. I like images with poems, and I like images without...I'm going to let you decide what mood you are in ...either way, I will benefit since I love your poetry no matter what

      dalaney

      over and out

  • Balldinger silver member
    November 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Dear Dalaney,

    I have a friend I'd love to send a postcard, some flowers and a Rumi book to, but have no idea what her address is. Is it rude to continually request her address, or should I just concede the fact that she's already gone postal?

    Zipping the code and awaitinig special delivery,
    ~ Ed "the package" Balldinger

    • Dalaney gold member
      November 8, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Dear Balldinger

      ...she must be a fugitive...hmmmmm...or
      maybe a government spy who just happens
      to like to write poetry? Who knows...

      Dalaney

      over and out

  • Namita silver member
    November 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Dear Dalaney,
    I have a crush on this guy at my school. He knows I have a crush on him too. I just am so stuck on this guy for over a year. I tried to stop crushing on him. But it doesn't work. What do I do? Is this real love or just infatuation? Please Help!

    Luv,
    Stuck on sweet-guy

    • Dalaney gold member
      November 3, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Dear Stuck on Sweet-Guy

      I don't want to trivialize your feelings, because even a "crush" can lead to a great romance, BUT, you said yourself..."I have a crush"...not...."I am in love." This is what I would do, but you certainly don't have to - guys are very very easy to figure out. If they KNOW you have a crush on them, they will play you for all it's worth (most guys your age, not all) and delight in the fact that a girl 'wants' them. It boosts up their ego, naturally. I would focus on doing a double whammmy...meaning, spread the word that you are interested in someone else. If you really want this guy to notice you, watch how quickly he will do a turnabout when he finds out he is no longer who you are focused on.

      OR...just walk up to him and say, "want to go out?" There is nothing wrong with asking. You might just become good friends. Just remember this: You are a woman. Women are born with brains and power. Used TOGETHER you can pretty much get whatever it is you desire. (Be careful tho...especially when hearts are involved)

      Dalaney

      over and out

  • Dalaney gold member
    October 30, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    < Dear Can't Decide...

    I smiled all the way through this...you sound just wonderful the way you are, however, Halloween means to become someone you are NOT, and it's fun to 'pretend' even for one night that you are someone else. If you are going to a party or even if you are simply dressing up to hand out candy, I think you should put FUN in front of your choice in costume. Personally, I think you would make a breathtaking angel (because you certainly have the traits but again, it all depends on what your mood is. The Sumu wrestler is a funny costume...I've seen it...but, it's overdone. The cave woman sounds like it would not only be fun, but adventurous My choice for you? The cave woman. For an 'added' touch...tie your hair up around a bone so a cave man doesn't get any bright ideas about dragging you around by your lovely lovely hair

    Happy Halloween, my friend

    Dalaney

    Over and out

  • Tennessee-Joe silver member
    October 29, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Moon Pies

    Dear Lane,
    Do YOU think eating a moon pie, and drinking a RC Cola during sex is offensive?
    Southern Boy

    • Dalaney gold member
      October 30, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Dear Southern Boy

      I would tell HER NEVER to eat
      a moonpie and drink RC Cola in
      bed...how have you put up with
      that for so long??? Tsk Tsk..
      some women

      Dalaney
      Over and out

      • Sgt B silver member
        November 7, 2007
        Edit | Reply

        Hahahaha

        Too funny very clever indeed!

  • poetryality silver member
    October 29, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Dear Lane,

    I have quite the dilemma. I am deeply in love with two men. Seriously! One is a lifetime commitment, the other a relationship that has resurfaced and taken a place that will not let go. How should I handle them both? Should I let one go because we both have other commitments, or simply have my cake and eat it too?

    Awaiting your sensible advice.



    Love Ya ♥

    Renee

    Damn...did I just spin my personals in the wash cycle and hang them out to dry for all to see or what!

    • poetryality silver member
      October 29, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you lovely lady. Those are my intentions to the letter. You are a genius!


      Renee

    • Dalaney gold member
      October 29, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Dear Renee

      You answered your own question, darling...
      "One is a lifetime commitment..." This is your
      answer, my dear friend. How do you handle the
      love who has resurfaced? With the grace and style
      I know you possess, Renee. Grace and style...

      Dalaney
      over and out

  • Allan Emery gold member
    October 28, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Completely Baffled...

    Dear DaLaney:

    I just got an empty box with the following note and wonder exactly how I should respond?

    ************************************************


    I hereby bequeath to you this gift, as a token of our friendship. You may keep in on the following conditions:

    You are never to be seen with this gift...

    You are never to talk to me in public...

    Nobody must ever know you have it...

    You must never accept gifts from anyone else...

    You must give it back to me anytime I should ask...

    You must give it back to me in a way that assures no one will ever know you had it...

    In fact, since I don't really trust you, I am just not going to give it to you at all, you can just know how much I care about you by the fact I considered giving it to you in the first place.

    Enjoy the box.

    So, we're best friends for life now, right?

    ************************************************

    I'm thinking I should just say, OK!

    What do you think?


    • Dalaney gold member
      October 29, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      allan

      don't even try it...

      dalaney
      over and out

      • Allan Emery gold member
        October 29, 2007
        Edit | Reply
        It must be nice to be so self-assured...
        How do you do it? I need help. I am ready to cave completely... where will I find the strength?

        • Dalaney gold member
          October 30, 2007
          Edit | Reply

          Dear PerV

          You will find the strength where you always find your strength...I have no doubt. As for caving in...isn't that for me to do?

          Dalaney
          Over and out
  • blaq roze
    October 28, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    My Queen

    *bows* If i may ask you a question, my Queen...

    I am planning on entering a story for nanowrimo that was inspired by a favorite song. Do you think this is a good idea. Could it be a bad idea because the inspriation I used isn't in everyone's head?

    • Dalaney gold member
      October 28, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Dear Earth Witch

      ...well, i think as a writer it is up to YOU to draw the picture you want to paint in your reader's mind, no matter what your inspiration, so I say...enter the story, as long as you are happy with the content. Good luck!

      Dalaney
      over and out

  • Grimoire
    October 27, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Dear Dalaney

    I am finding that people are most finicky about rhyme. No matter how well written, or the form followed, it seems that the particulars are not important. Rather, for some, a rhyme in a poem is cause for an attitude shift that seems to be quite contagious. Should I look to this trend as a sign to change more towards free-verse or vers libre, (blank verse)?

    • Dalaney gold member
      October 27, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      dear What Should I Do?

      you know what? who cares? Write whatever you want to write and however you want to write it...what matters is that you are creating what YOU want to create...there are a few of us
      out here who don't care what form the poem is in...it is the content that matters Love, Lane

      • Sgt B silver member
        November 7, 2007
        Edit | Reply

        Woo Hoo!

        Great response Poetry is in the eye of the WRITER hahahaha

  • ariosto gold member
    October 21, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Dear Mermaid
    I just took a look at your column.
    How will you ever have time to write poetry!

    (a new career here ?)

    My true love won't send me her address...what should I do?

    Sincerely,
    Artiste

  • delightfulmess silver member
    October 21, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Dear Lane,

    I have been blanketed with a black cloud It happed suddenly really... like some presance has moved its self right on in Maybe it is the weather I am finding that I have become very bitter...and have nearly lost my faith in everything I thought I was sure about. I seem to have a snide comment for almost anything the people around me say and that is just not me.. but for some reason everyone around me is getting on my freaking nerves... I hate being this way! It is effecting my kids... Poor guys dont need to see there momma crazy

    Any unique suggestions on how to beat the funk...I know all the typical advice.. I prefer being delightful.... But now I am a Mess..... please.. If it is possible anyway.. Maybe I will wake up in the morning and this mood has blown over. Sheesh that would be nice. But just in case any advice would be greatly appreciated.


    Delila

    • Dalaney gold member
      October 27, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Dear D...

      Sorry, I didn't catch this until now...I'm on a farm in Michigan and they don't have internet access...anyway, as for your moods...it's normal. You probably have a lot going on in your life right now, especially if you have kids in school...when is there time for mom? Also, I totally agree about weather effecting one's personality...I NEED the sunshine. If I don't have it, I'm as gray as the sky. Listen, do what I do when I want to bite everyone's head off and sleep in a cave - lock the bathroom door, light up the candles, run a bubble bath, pour yourself a brandy, and think about something groovy Love, Lane

  • daviscth silver member
    October 16, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Dear Delaney, I really do believe this will be the new HOT spot on this site!!!

    Please tell me what happened to your Adam poems. They were my favorites and I don't see them on your list anymore.

    • Dalaney gold member
      October 16, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Dear Cathy

      I retired my Adam series because I haven't seen him around for a while...once I do, believe me...you'll get a good dose of ghost poetry

      Dalaney,
      over and out

  • Tennessee-Joe silver member
    October 15, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Dear Delaney

    I haven't had sex in like five days. I don't mind waiting, but my Gawd, what is wrong with her? I usely take between three to four hours while having sex. Could that be too long? Maybe she is not geting enought sleep.
    Please advise.
    Not enought

    • Dalaney gold member
      October 16, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Dear Not Enough

      you must be joshing me! YOU? No sex for five days??? Impossible!! You are the Tennessee Tornado! Well, darling, the only thing I can suggest is this: Pamper her. Cuddle, and kiss her sweetly. No sexual pressure at all. Show her you are a patient man, even if you aren't, and I'm sure she'll get some rest and hog tie you to the bed in no time

      Dalaney,
      over and out

      • Tennessee-Joe silver member
        October 16, 2007
        Edit | Reply
        Oh Delaney,
        Thank you so much. I feel so stupid. I will start by sending roses to her job.
        You are a real Gem!
        Not Enough

  • thefuzzy1
    October 15, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Dear Dalaney

    What is your View On foreplay??? Do you see it as a Must or just something that is not needed... I'm just curious to get a Womans perspective on this whole matter...
    Much Love
    ~Fuzzball

    • Dalaney gold member
      October 15, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Dear Fuzzball

      My view on foreplay...hmmmm, a DEFINITE MUST, and it must be longer than thirty minutes or it isn't foreplay...any less than thirty minutes is plain old teasing.

      Dalaney, over and out

  • alexandrathegreat gold member
    October 15, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Dear Dalaney
    It's me, you know me.
    I am a bit self conscience I think my poems have been frumpy, my work scedules' crazy though and I have no time now... I hate it because I don't be a waitress the rest of my life, I want to be a writer but I'm getting better at waitressing then i am writing. It sucks kissing ass. Any advice love?

    • Dalaney gold member
      October 15, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Dear Chelsea

      Every great writer was once a waitress or a waiter...

      Tell your customers you are a struggling writer and they
      will leave better tips. Network. Network. Network.
      Then, when you get home after your shift, START WORKING
      ON A MANUSCRIPT. Find an agent. Send poetry into mags,
      newspapers. Oh, and never kiss ass...unless it is during
      foreplay...

      Dalaney
      over and out

      • alexandrathegreat gold member
        October 15, 2007
        Edit | Reply

        Thank you!

        I will make an effort to create a manuscript.
        But what should it consist of?
        What type of poetry is hot, modern?
        I don't even kiss ass in foreplay.
        I get my ass kissed.

  • daviscth silver member
    October 15, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Dear Dalaney

    You are by far my favorite on this site.

    Can you give me some tips on how you do it?

    Your style is so unique and captures a persons interest from the first line. I want that. LOL

    By the way, I love this ideal of yours and hope it lasts a long time.

    Love ya, Cathy

    • Dalaney gold member
      October 15, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Dear Cathy

      I thank you very much for the sweet compliment.
      How do I do it? I don't honestly know, Cathy.
      I just write. I think if you are in tune with
      the subject you are interested in writing about,
      then it is much easier to create a piece to be
      reckoned with. You are a poet, a writer, and
      the work you submit here is work you should be
      very proud of

      Dalaney
      over and out

  • Amera gold member
    October 15, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Dear Dalaney

    My question is two fold; I have a cyber husband and I need some advice. He tells me foreplay to a man is very hurtful. What it means is that I do not love my man as much as I should -- he has to work a lot to get me in the mood. When he does he thinks the female orgasm is a myth. It is fostered by militant, man-hating feminists and is a danger to the family unit. My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is. He says If I must mess with it, do it in my own time. Lastly he wants to experience a threesome with you and me.

    • Dalaney gold member
      October 15, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Dear Amera

      hah...ooooh, I knew I would get something like this from you

      Your husband is delusional, of course, and should be reprimanded
      with hours of foreplay and a lesson in anatomy. I seriously feel that counseling may be in order...

      As for a threesome...he's too young to die, but then again, what a way to go

      Dalaney,
      over and out
    • Alpha-Q
      October 15, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Where have you been all MY life?

      • Dalaney gold member
        October 15, 2007
        Edit | Reply

        Dear Alpha-Q

        in the corner of your mind....

        Dalaney
        over and out

  • Matt Holck
    October 14, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    "Why live a life
    That’s painted with pity and sadness and strife
    Why dream a dream
    That’s tainted with trouble and less than it seems
    Why bother bothering
    Just for a poem or another sad song to sing
    Why live a life
    Why live a life "

    Emilie Autumn - The Art Of Suicide

    • Dalaney gold member
      October 15, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Dear matt

      if you want me to tell you why we
      live a life...I cannot. But, I
      can show you. Open up your hands.
      Look at your palms, your fingers.
      You were given these hands to create...

      it's up to you what you make of it.

      Dalaney,
      over and out

  • Pure Thought silver member
    October 14, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Polygamy for Poets, Utah or bust!i!

    Dear Lane,
    I am in love with at least... let's just say a number of poetess' here. Should I move to Utah and invite them all? Should I just stay here and share the love?
    I support the group Polygamy for Poets.
    Georgie Porgie

    • Dalaney gold member
      October 15, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Dear Buddy

      What the hell? I say, move to Utah.
      Now, I don't know if this is the most
      practical thing to do, but when it
      comes to matters of the heart, I always
      say...GO FOR IT...unless, of course,
      there is an angry husband or boyfriend
      involved, and then, darl