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Dear Dalaney...

Have a question?  Need some advice?

Here's your chance - you might hear something nice Sealed

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  • Malabu
    August 12
    Edit | Reply
    Dear Lane

    Did you fall in love with someone?
    are you happy?

    together?

    today- I am a willow


  • charcoal
    July 24
    Edit | Reply
    dear lane

    why do people always
    leave?


  • sheltered
    June 27
    Edit | Reply

    Why?


  • paulcreates silver member
    June 16
    Edit | Reply

    Laners

    *straight face*
    I know this expert free verse poet who offers free advice...but she'll not take any. I'm thinking she feels controlled, therefore takes advice from no one other than herself. I think she may be stubborn. What ever shall I do?

    Pablo


    • Dalaney gold member
      June 16
      Edit | Reply
      Dear Pablo: Tsk tsk...I say take two aspirin and eat a piece of pie over and out, Dalaney


  • wbiro gold member
    June 13
    Edit | Reply
    Assuming we can separate them, which is more difficult to answer, questions of the heart, or questions of the mind?


    • Dalaney gold member
      June 13
      Edit | Reply

      Dear W...

      questions of the heart...always


      over and out

      Dalaney

  • yes i have a question, hehehe - why does my toe hurt?


    • Dalaney gold member
      June 12
      Edit | Reply

      Dear Indi...

      maybe if you wouldn't gnaw on it?

      over and out

      Dalaney

  • Confusemed

    How did you go abouts becoming such an amazing writer?
    I aspire to write this grandly someday, but of course, with my own style (since everyone writes differently) but none the less, grand.
    What would be your best advice?
    I'm also considering entering univeristy for a BA in Creative Writing but am scared to be in debt and never amount to anything. Should I throw away my fears and chase my dreams or should I be sensible and follow the norm? Help?

    • Dalaney gold member
      June 12
      Edit | Reply
      First of all, thank you so much for the very fine compliment

      I think when it comes to writing the best advise I can give is....don't be afraid to experiment with style and voice, especially if you are writing fiction and poetry. Have fun with words. Also, writing needs discipline - try and find a time and place where you can be alone, and then...write. Don't let anything distract you. Even if you only end up with one sentence...make sure it's the BEST sentence

      Finding your own voice will come with practice and confidence and self-belief. Write about things you know. Just write, and you'll see..

      As for getting your BA in Creative Writing...don't be afraid. Go for it. If this is what you want to do, then DO it. You rarely get second chances, you know what I mean?
      Believe in yourself....believe you can do it

      over and out,

      Dalaney


  • Sesheta
    June 3
    Edit | Reply
    All else of mine pales in comparison to this. I don't know who else to turn to. My first love, my only, truest, deepest love, and I have reconciled...and everything I'd buried has been brought out today. What I did to her. How much I was hiding from myself. I love her so, so, so, so, so, so deeply, she's so perfect for me, even now, it's like we were never apart, it's like nothing is between us, but everything is...even our love is an issue. She's engaged. She's going to be so happy. And I feel I will always be miserable if I am without her.


  • Cup-a-Joe
    May 31
    Edit | Reply
    If no one notices your birthday, no one says anything. Is it still your birthday,
    or just another stab wound?


    • Dalaney gold member
      June 12
      Edit | Reply
      omg...Joe....your birthday!

      oh, i feel so horrible...

  • Sesheta
    May 29
    Edit | Reply

    When It Rains, It Pours

    I am not the nicest person all the time, yet I've blossomed, and continue to grow everyday. The problems I used to have with people have dwindled. I've repaired some old bridges and forged many new ones. But even now, some friendships are failing. Worst of all, someone else is exiting my life. The tenth one. I feel cursed; most people go through years without losing so many people they love. I've done it all in two years. What's wrong with me?


    • sheltered
      June 27
      Edit | Reply
      if you don't have many friends
      like me
      then you have fewer to lose

      hey I feel better already!

    • Dalaney gold member
      May 30
      Edit | Reply

      Dear Drenched...

      Why does there have to be anything wrong with you? In life people just move on...it's that simple. Maybe the people in your life are doing just that. True friendship is just like a marriage...it takes work, patience, love, loyalty, and the test of time. I've met a lot of people in my life, but only a few do I call, friend. I think if you can count one good friend then you are doing very very well. Of course, it is painful when people you know go in a different direction and don't ask you to come along, but baby, that is life. You are going to be disappointed as many times as you are going to celebrate. Be strong, be yourself, and concentrate on 'blossoming'

      over and out,

      Dalaney


  • Keith Drew gold member
    May 28
    Edit | Reply
    You need no advice!
    For you already know.


    • Dalaney gold member
      May 28
      Edit | Reply

      Dear Keith....

      lol...I can always use good advise

      or, a few fortune cookies

      over and out,

      Dalaney

  • Sesheta
    May 28
    Edit | Reply
    I have never had a "fair" life. My parents have been poor and I matured past the level of most adults around the age of 17. Now adult life is washing over me and I'm afraid I'll drown. I don't know the right answers, or even the damn questions! Help?

    • Dalaney gold member
      May 28
      Edit | Reply

      Dear "Not Fair"

      Unfortunately, you are not alone....there is an entire world of drowning human beings. My advise...do something once a week or even once a month just for the inner child Buy some ice cream and walk in the park. Tie-dye a shirt and put your hair up in a ponytail. Have a good old fashion slumber party with a few friends. It's hard being an adult all of the time, and I firmly believe that if you can entertain that darling little ten year old inside once in a while, the 'big' girl will thank you

      over and out,

      Dalaney

  • Oh wise one

    I am tired of the garden path. You know the one my heart keeps leading me up. I'm contemplating purchasing a G.P.S device so this doesn't happen again. Do you think this is a wise move?


    • Dalaney gold member
      May 28
      Edit | Reply

      Dear Tip-Toeing-Thru-The-Tulips

      No...you can still enjoy the garden...just bring some Raid and a fly swatter

      over and out,

      Dalaney

  • Deep Philosophical Question...

    Dearest Lane,
    In my meditations recently, a question keeps popping up over and over again...:

    "What is the emotion felt by a platypus slapping a wet cheetah?"

    Any insight you have into this question would be greatly appreciated, so I can return to my usually crystalline stream of consciousness.

    over, under and around the tree,

    white stone


    • Dalaney gold member
      May 24
      Edit | Reply

      Dear WS



      ....total and unadulterated pleasure

      over and out

      Dalaney


  • Balldinger silver member
    May 22
    Edit | Reply

    Slanted down the wrong side...

    Dear Dalaney,

    I swallowed a semantic genius when I was very young. What would you prescribe to make me cough it up again?

    ~ Ed Balldinger

    http://www.amazon.com/Cavitys-Kitchen-Bone-Combers-Home/dp/144042571X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1238601664&sr=1-1


    • Dalaney gold member
      May 23
      Edit | Reply

      Dear Balldinger

      ipecac

      over and out


      dalaney

      • Balldinger silver member
        May 26
        Edit | Reply
        Dear Dalaney,

        Ipecac didn't work on me for some reason - made me see evil fish swim upstream in brilliant colors, turning into kaleidoscope pinwheels, and racing ancient chariots for carrots and gold nuggets. No, wait, maybe that was the brownies I ate. I'll get back to you - maybe.

        Up and over,
        ~ Ed


        • Dalaney gold member
          May 28
          Edit | Reply

          Dear Ed....

          Please....pass those brownies!

          • Balldinger silver member
            May 28
            Edit | Reply
            Dear Dalaney,

            I can't. I ate 'em all and had to be strapped into my Naugahyde recliner. Better luck next time.

            Considering the monastery...

            ~ Ed


  • LadyLavender gold member
    April 30
    Edit | Reply

    What now?

    Dear Delaney,

    I'm a makeup artist in the big city of nyc. I feel bored wand to do something totally different and fulfilling. I'm constantly told that I'm so good at what i do, but feel thre is more that my soul wnats me to do...But i don't know what it is.

    • Dalaney gold member
      May 22
      Edit | Reply

      Dear What Now....

      you probably DO know what it is, but because it's out of your comfort realm it seems too scary to venture forth. You already said you are good at what you do now....what happens if you find out you're not good at something else? will the sky fall? will rivers run dry? no, baby, they won't, but you will have experienced LIFE - scary or not, failed or won - and that is what is the most important thing. Have a good talk with your soul...then, take a deep breath and jump...you might be surprised to find yourself flying

      over and out,

      Dalaney

      • wow...Lane you are beautiful

        I think on that note....I would like to fly too! may I have some of your balloons?

      • Humm, you have a knack at this giving advice thing! Thank you for writing me, and yes...I can't wait to fly.

        LL


  • Solo Wisp gold member
    April 14
    Edit | Reply

    Dear Bright Star,

    I've been offered a little skirt of land on the dark side of the moon. Centurian II Plot 15.355329. Since I come from up 'North' I may have a snowflake's chance of surviving the climate. I'm not quite sold, however. I'm most positive it will be cheaper than my expected lease of a quarter acre of the sun ... but can't help but wonder if I am becoming a participant of a bait and switch. How can I be sure that the darkside of the moon will be prime real estate? Will the lighter side of the moon offer a better vantage point for my Plutonian clients? Lastly, do you have any ideas on the price structures I'm looking at?

    Much universal love,

    -The Glo-Stick Kid

    • Dalaney gold member
      April 18
      Edit | Reply

      Dear Glo-Stick Kid....

      would you rather look at something a bit more safe like the gated community over on Pluto? Trust me, the dark side of the moon is where you want to be, however, there is a whole big universe we can explore...I'm sure we can find your little slice of nirvana somewhere.

      over and out

      dalaney


  • Matt E. Smith gold member
    April 12
    Edit | Reply

    Dear Lane,

    I just ate a huge Easter dinner that consisted of turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, bread, carrots, broccoli with cheese sauce, salad and ham, along with a slice of apple pie, a slice of cherry pie, vanilla ice cream and whipped cream. I feel gluttonous. What would you suggest the best way to work off all of this excess food is? Secondly, what is the best way to avoid all of my crazy relatives downstairs without being rude?

    • Dalaney gold member
      April 12
      Edit | Reply

      Dear Gluttonous...

      The best way to work off that fabulous dinner AND to avoid the relatives downstairs is to...run run run you can always throw in a few push-ups, too

      over and out,

      dalaney


  • Namita
    April 7
    Edit | Reply
    dear dalaney,

    stuck on a random guy for 3 years. the guy left a year ago too. true love, long term infatuation?

    confused,
    me.

    • Dalaney gold member
      April 11
      Edit | Reply

      Dear Confused....

      i don't know what your definition of true love is, so it's difficult for me to distinguish between that and long term infatuation...I tend to think this 'stuck' feeling lingers because you are not seeing anyone else now? blow off the cobwebs, darling, and jump into the pond...there are so many little fishies just waiting for you there

      over and out,

      dalaney

  • white stone
    March 30
    Edit | Reply

    Dearest Lane,

    I would like to hear about your taste in literature. I am always looking for a good read and frankly, I'm curious. Specific authors and works would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance.

    • Dalaney gold member
      March 30
      Edit | Reply

      Dear Lit Curious...

      Oh. You are after my own heart. I love to read and I've passed on a lot of good titles to friends here. I have a few you might like (maybe you've already read them...let me know)

      1. The Tender Bar by JR Moehringer
      2. The Kite Runner (I can't think of his name!)
      3. The Hour I First Believed by Wally Lamb
      4. The Life of Pi (again...can't think of author name)

      The best times I've ever had are talking 'books' with friends over coffee - we'll have to talk more, ok?



      • white stone
        March 31
        Edit | Reply
        Definitely. Have read the Wally Lamb and the Life of Pi, will give the others a shot as well. Must...sleep.


  • Yemassee gold member
    March 30
    Edit | Reply

    Nerves like tendrils here...

    Dear Dalaney:

    I see below someone nicknamed you "Koala." Would you allow me to give you a nickname too? I was thinking, "Shar-pei" and if that didn't bark out at you -- how about, "Rufus?"

    I hope you pick "Shar-pei" because I always wanted to be called "Rufus" and I am starting to feel that I shouldn't have been so free with my generosity.

    I will give you 100 points if you don't pick "Rufus".

    I hope you reply soon because I won't get any sleep since I'll be worrying that you might pick that name.

    It's always "Us, us, us" in this column...that isn't fair to you...go ahead, ask a question...I don't know much but I'm good at faking that I do.

    • Dalaney gold member
      March 30
      Edit | Reply

      Dear Nerves Like Tendrils....(ahem)

      So you want to give me a nickname....Shar-pei....I like it....are you going to powder between my wrinkles? I will accept Shar-pei and you shall be Rufus...forevermore

      I will think of a question. I will probably think of twenty or so. Oh, and just a warning...I'll know if you're faking it

      Over and Out,

      Dalaney


      • Yemassee gold member
        March 30
        Edit | Reply
        Fair enough

        "10-4 good buddy" (see your "over and out") lol

        Rufus


  • Emmyb gold member
    March 24
    Edit | Reply
    Lane this is so funny. Im so glad I read a few of these. laughed out loud to some of davids. didnt laugh so much at others *cough* you know who I mean!

    try to keep this little gig up! its very comical.


  • sheltered
    March 14
    Edit | Reply

    Dear Lane

    Why must I miss
    while thou dost not speaketh


    • Dalaney gold member
      March 14
      Edit | Reply

      Dear Tim

      Thou is sorryeth...
      I shall maketh it up to thee...

      over and outeth,

      Dalaney


  • poetryality silver member
    March 2
    Edit | Reply

    Dear Lane,

    I have no job
    I have no money
    my unemployment
    stresses out my honey

    a job is hard to find today
    I've tried and tried
    and I must say
    still today I have no pay

    I refuse to work
    outside of my profession
    I declare that
    theatre is my obsession

    but budgets
    have been cut so bad
    there is no cash
    and that makes me sad

    what should I do?


    Renee

    • Dalaney gold member
      March 6
      Edit | Reply

      Renee...

      Baby, you have to do what you have to do. You know this. A dear friend of mine lost her job as a market analyst three months ago. She is now working at her daughter's school as a "lunchroom lady". She told me if she had known the benefits were so good she would have worked in the cafeteria a long time ago. The benefits were to be around children and to talk to them and watch over them. Remember the saying: when one door closes another one opens. Who knows what you will find? I love you, Renee. Keep your dreams alive and your chin up, my friend.

      over and out,

      Dalaney


  • softest-whispers
    February 23
    Edit | Reply
    Dear Lane,

    I want to know the meaning of life and saving that, just tell me where the best brandy is with good strong napkins to write poetry on? Luce

    P.S My good friend Chez said you'd know

    • Dalaney gold member
      March 6
      Edit | Reply

      Dear Luce

      Sorry for the delay in reply...eh, life. The best brandy I know of is the blueberry and fig brandy my friends' wife makes in her back shed and any good greasy-spoon restaurant napkin will do just fine - they are thicker, and not only absorb gravy splats, but ink and words Give Chez a hug for me...she's a gem.

      over and out,

      Dalaney


  • JinSays gold member
    February 20
    Edit | Reply
    My Laney,

    What else can I say?
    "Everybody Wants Some" started playing as soon as my cursor hit this space.
    Ironic?
    I think NOT
    Love to ya girl, and blessings too.
    Jin


  • Cup-a-Joe
    February 11
    Edit | Reply

    Dr. Lane

    If im standing on the ceiling, which way is up?
    PS Who's Koala?
    Wondering

    • Dalaney gold member
      March 6
      Edit | Reply

      Dear Wondering...

      If you are standing on the ceiling, then where am I????
      Nut.
      Koala is the nickname Meg gave me. Cute, isn't it?

      over and out,

      Dalaney


  • CaliOkie silver member
    February 9
    Edit | Reply
    Dear Dr. Lane,

    How do I know it's true love?


    Seriously,

    Garrison

    • Dalaney gold member
      February 9
      Edit | Reply

      Dear Garrison:

      I don't know if you ever will know...love is finicky, but I would guess that if it is true love then it will weather the storms and weather time. All we can really do is hope that the love we have in our lives is true and good and for however long, it stays

      Over and out,

      Dalaney



      PS: Oh, and don't call me Dr. Lane - that is Amera's doing


  • Amera gold member
    February 5
    Edit | Reply
    Dear Dr Lane,
    Why do they call Wednesday hump day, when most people get laid on the weekends?


    • adsaige
      February 21
      Edit | Reply
      Wednesday is the middle of the week.
      Hump day...get over it, you can make it the rest of the week.


    • Dalaney gold member
      February 9
      Edit | Reply

      Dear Amera:

      ha ha double ha...you must be bored today

      over and out,

      Dalaney


      • MuddyKing
        April 23
        Edit | Reply
        Dear Lane,
        It takes many faces to be creative and I often wonder how we can go in and out of those personalities with the simplest of prompts and or inspiration.
        Not sure which me will get your answer.
        Ya know?


        • Dalaney gold member
          April 30
          Edit | Reply

          dear multiple...

          the enigma of being...human.

          over and out...

          dalaney


          • wbiro gold member
            May 31
            Edit | Reply
            technically, there is no dark side of the moon (in spite of what Pink Floyd says!)


  • Amera gold member
    February 5
    Edit | Reply
    Dear Dr. Lane,
    If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?


  • Cup-a-Joe
    February 3
    Edit | Reply

    Dear Lane,

    Are the voices I hear, tellin me the right things?
    In my Head


    • Dalaney gold member
      February 3
      Edit | Reply

      Dear Bonko:

      i don't know. i can't hear them.

      over and out,

      dalaney

      • Cup-a-Joe
        February 5
        Edit | Reply

        Dear Lane,

        They told me that also, but I didn't know to believe them.
        I guess I will now.
        Bonko
        Ps they said i could see something from you. Do you know what?
        Joe


  • Unsigned gold member
    February 1
    Edit | Reply
    Dear Lane...

    I am unsigned for many reasons...


    My question is...

    Who are you?




    • Dalaney gold member
      February 1
      Edit | Reply

      Dear Unsigned

      i'm not going to give you a clever or cliched response...

      who am I? read my poetry. it tells you more than i can here.

      I have a question. Can you tell me one reason you are unsigned?

      over and out,

      Dalaney

      • Unsigned gold member
        February 3
        Edit | Reply
        For sure...

        I am unsigned because I refuse to buy into many things.

        I believe in people and give all my energy into trying to educate others using personal branding and team dynamics. I was for many years a victim of the coperate systems and in the end it made me physically ill for around 6 months. Fortunatley I found friends and mentors to help me understand me...

        I therfore refuse to buy into the top driven, lead by fear and beat witgh a budget stick style of managers...so in my professional life I am Unsigned.

        Persoanly I am on a journey of finding who I am and where I can make a contribution, as yet I am still finding my way and trying to align my work, home and spirit to my values, goals ans strengths...

        It is a strange journey but one I make through personal choice.

        I stay Unsigned as it gives me options and allows me to mold myself and define myself in this sureal world that we live in...

        Simple ... but that is just who and were I am.

        Simon


  • Mairi bheag gold member
    January 23
    Edit | Reply

    Dear Lane

    I can't think of a question. I must be terribly wise. Alternatively I must be terribly stupid. Ah, there's one - which am I, wise or stupid? And how can you tell?

    • Dalaney gold member
      January 28
      Edit | Reply

      Dear Mairi

      When you are wise you KNOW you don't have all the answers. When you are stupid, you THINK you know all of the answers. Case closed. I have spoken.

      over and out,

      Dalaney


      • Mairi bheag gold member
        January 28
        Edit | Reply
        Fair enough - I guess I should have expected that answer. But then, I don't have all the answers.


  • nevadapoet
    January 22
    Edit | Reply

    Dear Lane

    Tell me how to cure writers block. I have been totally blocked with writing for over two months now and don't know what to do to get past it.
    Any suggestions?????

    Shelly

    • wbiro gold member
      May 31
      Edit | Reply
      for writer's block (though mine is just writer's 'idling') I just comment and interact on AP, there is nearly everything in life right here, people-wise, if you go beyond your comfort zone... and much insight and inspiration can be derived from IM'ing and commenting (even if it's just social networking), not the least being collaborations and derivative pieces... but beware of romantic collaborations- your heart does not know your interaction with someone is virtual, or professional, and it will be torn to shreds as it tries to 'complete' the relationship (as it is designed to do by nature)...

    • Dalaney gold member
      January 23
      Edit | Reply

      Dear Shelly

      I am the Queen of Writers Block...come sit beside me

      I have been told by fellow writers that NOT thinking about writing will help, although, it didn't help me because I'm always thinking about writing, so here's what I do:


      1. Try looking at a simple object. For example: a paperweight. start thinking of ways you could interpret the object. could it become a metaphor for something going on in your life?

      2. I write down random sentences. If I like one, then I sort of build around it slowly.

      3. Every single day I find five new words in the dictionary. I take the words and write them down and play with them. For example: one word could be, Diva. Do I know any divas? Why is a diva a diva? does this spur a memory? eh, you know what I mean.

      4. I reread old poetry of mine and see if it inspires me to continue on with a memory

      5. I read other poets.

      Mostly, though, I just write what I want to and save it. I fix it up when I'm in the mood.


      Taking a shot of vodka helps too j/k

      Hope this helps.

      over and out,

      dalaney


  • Endeavor gold member
    January 13
    Edit | Reply

    Dear Dalaney


    If God is love, and love is blind... is God blind,
    or is this just a faliscy of logic?

    Rick


    • Dalaney gold member
      January 14
      Edit | Reply
      Dear Rick ~

      When it comes to God...there is no logic.



      over and out,
      Dalaney

  • sheltered
    January 11
    Edit | Reply

    Dear Dalaney

    i am in love with my computer
    now i know that it is just a bunch of ones and zeroes
    neatly packed into a circuit board
    but it says the nicest things sometimes

    do you think i should byte my tongue
    or proceed with the screening process
    until my hard-drive becomes full?

    • Dalaney gold member
      January 11
      Edit | Reply

      Dear Computer Lover...

      i definitely think you should NOT
      byte your tongue.

      play its keys, stroke that space bar,
      avoid deleting, and take that
      hard-drive
      on a smooth ride....



      over and out,

      Dalaney


      • sheltered
        January 11
        Edit | Reply

        thanks

        you give good word


        • Dalaney gold member
          January 11
          Edit | Reply
          and you taste like pixels

          • sheltered
            January 11
            Edit | Reply
            you know i'll have the last word if it kills me don't you? lol

            and luckily my hardware
            has a hexadecimal design
            your binaries can cling to
            while i multitask you

            • Dalaney gold member
              January 11
              Edit | Reply



              luckily for you, i am in safe mode
              otherwise this surge of energy
              might crash my system

              ....how would i explain it to the Geek Squad?

  • Cup-a-Joe
    January 8
    Edit | Reply

    Dear Dalaney

    A co-worker lives in an old hospital,-at one time children's home. She has a female ghost, who is very active at times. Do you think that your male ghost would like to come visit?
    Ghostbuster Joe

    • Dalaney gold member
      January 8
      Edit | Reply

      < Dear Ghostbuster Joe....

      I think you should leave the match-making to little old women
      who wear scarves and bright red lipstick.

      Nut.

      over and out,
      Dalaney

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