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Dear Lane
Did you fall in love with someone?
are you happy?
together?
today- I am a willow -
dear lane
why do people always
leave? -
Why?
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Laners
*straight face*
I know this expert free verse poet who offers free advice...but she'll not take any. I'm thinking she feels controlled, therefore takes advice from no one other than herself. I think she may be stubborn. What ever shall I do?
Pablo -
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Dear Pablo: Tsk tsk...I say take two aspirin and eat a piece of pie over and out, Dalaney
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Assuming we can separate them, which is more difficult to answer, questions of the heart, or questions of the mind?
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Dear W...
questions of the heart...always
over and out
Dalaney
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yes i have a question, hehehe - why does my toe hurt?
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Dear Indi...
maybe if you wouldn't gnaw on it?
over and out
Dalaney
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Confusemed
How did you go abouts becoming such an amazing writer?
I aspire to write this grandly someday, but of course, with my own style (since everyone writes differently) but none the less, grand.
What would be your best advice?
I'm also considering entering univeristy for a BA in Creative Writing but am scared to be in debt and never amount to anything. Should I throw away my fears and chase my dreams or should I be sensible and follow the norm? Help? -
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First of all, thank you so much for the very fine compliment
I think when it comes to writing the best advise I can give is....don't be afraid to experiment with style and voice, especially if you are writing fiction and poetry. Have fun with words. Also, writing needs discipline - try and find a time and place where you can be alone, and then...write. Don't let anything distract you. Even if you only end up with one sentence...make sure it's the BEST sentence
Finding your own voice will come with practice and confidence and self-belief. Write about things you know. Just write, and you'll see..
As for getting your BA in Creative Writing...don't be afraid. Go for it. If this is what you want to do, then DO it. You rarely get second chances, you know what I mean?
Believe in yourself....believe you can do it
over and out,
Dalaney -
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great advice that I live by
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All else of mine pales in comparison to this. I don't know who else to turn to. My first love, my only, truest, deepest love, and I have reconciled...and everything I'd buried has been brought out today. What I did to her. How much I was hiding from myself. I love her so, so, so, so, so, so deeply, she's so perfect for me, even now, it's like we were never apart, it's like nothing is between us, but everything is...even our love is an issue. She's engaged. She's going to be so happy. And I feel I will always be miserable if I am without her.
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If no one notices your birthday, no one says anything. Is it still your birthday,
or just another stab wound?
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omg...Joe....your birthday!
oh, i feel so horrible...
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When It Rains, It Pours
I am not the nicest person all the time, yet I've blossomed, and continue to grow everyday. The problems I used to have with people have dwindled. I've repaired some old bridges and forged many new ones. But even now, some friendships are failing. Worst of all, someone else is exiting my life. The tenth one. I feel cursed; most people go through years without losing so many people they love. I've done it all in two years. What's wrong with me? -
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if you don't have many friends
like me
then you have fewer to lose
hey I feel better already! -
Dear Drenched...
Why does there have to be anything wrong with you? In life people just move on...it's that simple. Maybe the people in your life are doing just that. True friendship is just like a marriage...it takes work, patience, love, loyalty, and the test of time. I've met a lot of people in my life, but only a few do I call, friend. I think if you can count one good friend then you are doing very very well. Of course, it is painful when people you know go in a different direction and don't ask you to come along, but baby, that is life. You are going to be disappointed as many times as you are going to celebrate. Be strong, be yourself, and concentrate on 'blossoming'
over and out,
Dalaney -
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You need no advice!
For you already know. -
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Dear Keith....
lol...I can always use good advise
or, a few fortune cookies
over and out,
Dalaney
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I have never had a "fair" life. My parents have been poor and I matured past the level of most adults around the age of 17. Now adult life is washing over me and I'm afraid I'll drown. I don't know the right answers, or even the damn questions! Help?
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Dear "Not Fair"
Unfortunately, you are not alone....there is an entire world of drowning human beings. My advise...do something once a week or even once a month just for the inner child Buy some ice cream and walk in the park. Tie-dye a shirt and put your hair up in a ponytail. Have a good old fashion slumber party with a few friends. It's hard being an adult all of the time, and I firmly believe that if you can entertain that darling little ten year old inside once in a while, the 'big' girl will thank you
over and out,
Dalaney -
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Oh wise one
I am tired of the garden path. You know the one my heart keeps leading me up. I'm contemplating purchasing a G.P.S device so this doesn't happen again. Do you think this is a wise move? -
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Dear Tip-Toeing-Thru-The-Tulips
No...you can still enjoy the garden...just bring some Raid and a fly swatter
over and out,
Dalaney
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Deep Philosophical Question...
Dearest Lane,
In my meditations recently, a question keeps popping up over and over again...:
"What is the emotion felt by a platypus slapping a wet cheetah?"
Any insight you have into this question would be greatly appreciated, so I can return to my usually crystalline stream of consciousness.
over, under and around the tree,
white stone
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Dear WS
....total and unadulterated pleasure
over and out
Dalaney
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Slanted down the wrong side...
Dear Dalaney,
I swallowed a semantic genius when I was very young. What would you prescribe to make me cough it up again?
~ Ed Balldinger
http://www.amazon.com/Cavitys-Kitchen-Bone-Combers-Home/dp/144042571X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1238601664&sr=1-1 -
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Dear Balldinger
ipecac
over and out
dalaney
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Dear Dalaney,
Ipecac didn't work on me for some reason - made me see evil fish swim upstream in brilliant colors, turning into kaleidoscope pinwheels, and racing ancient chariots for carrots and gold nuggets. No, wait, maybe that was the brownies I ate. I'll get back to you - maybe.
Up and over,
~ Ed -
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Dear Ed....
Please....pass those brownies!
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Dear Dalaney,
I can't. I ate 'em all and had to be strapped into my Naugahyde recliner. Better luck next time.
Considering the monastery...
~ Ed
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What now?
Dear Delaney,
I'm a makeup artist in the big city of nyc. I feel bored wand to do something totally different and fulfilling. I'm constantly told that I'm so good at what i do, but feel thre is more that my soul wnats me to do...But i don't know what it is. -
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Dear What Now....
you probably DO know what it is, but because it's out of your comfort realm it seems too scary to venture forth. You already said you are good at what you do now....what happens if you find out you're not good at something else? will the sky fall? will rivers run dry? no, baby, they won't, but you will have experienced LIFE - scary or not, failed or won - and that is what is the most important thing. Have a good talk with your soul...then, take a deep breath and jump...you might be surprised to find yourself flying
over and out,
Dalaney -
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wow...Lane you are beautiful
I think on that note....I would like to fly too! may I have some of your balloons? -
Humm, you have a knack at this giving advice thing! Thank you for writing me, and yes...I can't wait to fly.
LL
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Dear Bright Star,
I've been offered a little skirt of land on the dark side of the moon. Centurian II Plot 15.355329. Since I come from up 'North' I may have a snowflake's chance of surviving the climate. I'm not quite sold, however. I'm most positive it will be cheaper than my expected lease of a quarter acre of the sun ... but can't help but wonder if I am becoming a participant of a bait and switch. How can I be sure that the darkside of the moon will be prime real estate? Will the lighter side of the moon offer a better vantage point for my Plutonian clients? Lastly, do you have any ideas on the price structures I'm looking at?
Much universal love,
-The Glo-Stick Kid -
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Dear Glo-Stick Kid....
would you rather look at something a bit more safe like the gated community over on Pluto? Trust me, the dark side of the moon is where you want to be, however, there is a whole big universe we can explore...I'm sure we can find your little slice of nirvana somewhere.
over and out
dalaney
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Dear Lane,
I just ate a huge Easter dinner that consisted of turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, bread, carrots, broccoli with cheese sauce, salad and ham, along with a slice of apple pie, a slice of cherry pie, vanilla ice cream and whipped cream. I feel gluttonous. What would you suggest the best way to work off all of this excess food is? Secondly, what is the best way to avoid all of my crazy relatives downstairs without being rude? -
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Dear Gluttonous...
The best way to work off that fabulous dinner AND to avoid the relatives downstairs is to...run run run you can always throw in a few push-ups, too
over and out,
dalaney
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dear dalaney,
stuck on a random guy for 3 years. the guy left a year ago too. true love, long term infatuation?
confused,
me.
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Dear Confused....
i don't know what your definition of true love is, so it's difficult for me to distinguish between that and long term infatuation...I tend to think this 'stuck' feeling lingers because you are not seeing anyone else now? blow off the cobwebs, darling, and jump into the pond...there are so many little fishies just waiting for you there
over and out,
dalaney
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Dearest Lane,
I would like to hear about your taste in literature. I am always looking for a good read and frankly, I'm curious. Specific authors and works would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance.
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Dear Lit Curious...
Oh. You are after my own heart. I love to read and I've passed on a lot of good titles to friends here. I have a few you might like (maybe you've already read them...let me know)
1. The Tender Bar by JR Moehringer
2. The Kite Runner (I can't think of his name!)
3. The Hour I First Believed by Wally Lamb
4. The Life of Pi (again...can't think of author name)
The best times I've ever had are talking 'books' with friends over coffee - we'll have to talk more, ok?
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Definitely. Have read the Wally Lamb and the Life of Pi, will give the others a shot as well. Must...sleep.
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Nerves like tendrils here...
Dear Dalaney:
I see below someone nicknamed you "Koala." Would you allow me to give you a nickname too? I was thinking, "Shar-pei" and if that didn't bark out at you -- how about, "Rufus?"
I hope you pick "Shar-pei" because I always wanted to be called "Rufus" and I am starting to feel that I shouldn't have been so free with my generosity.
I will give you 100 points if you don't pick "Rufus".
I hope you reply soon because I won't get any sleep since I'll be worrying that you might pick that name.
It's always "Us, us, us" in this column...that isn't fair to you...go ahead, ask a question...I don't know much but I'm good at faking that I do.
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Dear Nerves Like Tendrils....(ahem)
So you want to give me a nickname....Shar-pei....I like it....are you going to powder between my wrinkles? I will accept Shar-pei and you shall be Rufus...forevermore
I will think of a question. I will probably think of twenty or so. Oh, and just a warning...I'll know if you're faking it
Over and Out,
Dalaney -
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Fair enough
"10-4 good buddy" (see your "over and out") lol
Rufus
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Lane this is so funny. Im so glad I read a few of these. laughed out loud to some of davids. didnt laugh so much at others *cough* you know who I mean!
try to keep this little gig up! its very comical.
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Dear Lane
Why must I miss
while thou dost not speaketh -
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Dear Tim
Thou is sorryeth...
I shall maketh it up to thee...
over and outeth,
Dalaney
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Dear Lane,
I have no job
I have no money
my unemployment
stresses out my honey
a job is hard to find today
I've tried and tried
and I must say
still today I have no pay
I refuse to work
outside of my profession
I declare that
theatre is my obsession
but budgets
have been cut so bad
there is no cash
and that makes me sad
what should I do?
Renee
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Renee...
Baby, you have to do what you have to do. You know this. A dear friend of mine lost her job as a market analyst three months ago. She is now working at her daughter's school as a "lunchroom lady". She told me if she had known the benefits were so good she would have worked in the cafeteria a long time ago. The benefits were to be around children and to talk to them and watch over them. Remember the saying: when one door closes another one opens. Who knows what you will find? I love you, Renee. Keep your dreams alive and your chin up, my friend.
over and out,
Dalaney
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Dear Lane,
I want to know the meaning of life and saving that, just tell me where the best brandy is with good strong napkins to write poetry on? Luce
P.S My good friend Chez said you'd know
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Dear Luce
Sorry for the delay in reply...eh, life. The best brandy I know of is the blueberry and fig brandy my friends' wife makes in her back shed and any good greasy-spoon restaurant napkin will do just fine - they are thicker, and not only absorb gravy splats, but ink and words Give Chez a hug for me...she's a gem.
over and out,
Dalaney
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My Laney,
What else can I say?
"Everybody Wants Some" started playing as soon as my cursor hit this space.
Ironic?
I think NOT
Love to ya girl, and blessings too.
Jin -
Dr. Lane
If im standing on the ceiling, which way is up?
PS Who's Koala?
Wondering -
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Dear Wondering...
If you are standing on the ceiling, then where am I????
Nut.
Koala is the nickname Meg gave me. Cute, isn't it?
over and out,
Dalaney
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Dear Dr. Lane,
How do I know it's true love?
Seriously,
Garrison -
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Dear Garrison:
I don't know if you ever will know...love is finicky, but I would guess that if it is true love then it will weather the storms and weather time. All we can really do is hope that the love we have in our lives is true and good and for however long, it stays
Over and out,
Dalaney
PS: Oh, and don't call me Dr. Lane - that is Amera's doing
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Dear Dr Lane,
Why do they call Wednesday hump day, when most people get laid on the weekends? -
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Wednesday is the middle of the week.
Hump day...get over it, you can make it the rest of the week.
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Dear Amera:
ha ha double ha...you must be bored today
over and out,
Dalaney -
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Dear Lane,
It takes many faces to be creative and I often wonder how we can go in and out of those personalities with the simplest of prompts and or inspiration.
Not sure which me will get your answer.
Ya know? -
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dear multiple...
the enigma of being...human.
over and out...
dalaney -
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technically, there is no dark side of the moon (in spite of what Pink Floyd says!)
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Dear Dr. Lane,
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? -
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Dear Amera:
it feels good?
over and out,
Dalaney
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Good answer.
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i thought so...
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Dear Lane,
Are the voices I hear, tellin me the right things?
In my Head -
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Dear Bonko:
i don't know. i can't hear them.
over and out,
dalaney -
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Dear Lane,
They told me that also, but I didn't know to believe them.
I guess I will now.
Bonko
Ps they said i could see something from you. Do you know what?
Joe
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Dear Lane...
I am unsigned for many reasons...
My question is...
Who are you?
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Dear Unsigned
i'm not going to give you a clever or cliched response...
who am I? read my poetry. it tells you more than i can here.
I have a question. Can you tell me one reason you are unsigned?
over and out,
Dalaney -
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For sure...
I am unsigned because I refuse to buy into many things.
I believe in people and give all my energy into trying to educate others using personal branding and team dynamics. I was for many years a victim of the coperate systems and in the end it made me physically ill for around 6 months. Fortunatley I found friends and mentors to help me understand me...
I therfore refuse to buy into the top driven, lead by fear and beat witgh a budget stick style of managers...so in my professional life I am Unsigned.
Persoanly I am on a journey of finding who I am and where I can make a contribution, as yet I am still finding my way and trying to align my work, home and spirit to my values, goals ans strengths...
It is a strange journey but one I make through personal choice.
I stay Unsigned as it gives me options and allows me to mold myself and define myself in this sureal world that we live in...
Simple ... but that is just who and were I am.
Simon
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thank you
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Dear Lane
I can't think of a question. I must be terribly wise. Alternatively I must be terribly stupid. Ah, there's one - which am I, wise or stupid? And how can you tell? -
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Dear Mairi
When you are wise you KNOW you don't have all the answers. When you are stupid, you THINK you know all of the answers. Case closed. I have spoken.
over and out,
Dalaney -
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Fair enough - I guess I should have expected that answer. But then, I don't have all the answers.
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That has to be the first time you have ever admitted that
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When did YOU ever admit it!
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Be fair I don't even know my name, I am Just a Poet
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You could still argue the arse of a cow, if you could get it to stay still long enough.
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Dear Lane
Tell me how to cure writers block. I have been totally blocked with writing for over two months now and don't know what to do to get past it.
Any suggestions?????
Shelly -
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for writer's block (though mine is just writer's 'idling') I just comment and interact on AP, there is nearly everything in life right here, people-wise, if you go beyond your comfort zone... and much insight and inspiration can be derived from IM'ing and commenting (even if it's just social networking), not the least being collaborations and derivative pieces... but beware of romantic collaborations- your heart does not know your interaction with someone is virtual, or professional, and it will be torn to shreds as it tries to 'complete' the relationship (as it is designed to do by nature)...
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Dear Shelly
I am the Queen of Writers Block...come sit beside me
I have been told by fellow writers that NOT thinking about writing will help, although, it didn't help me because I'm always thinking about writing, so here's what I do:
1. Try looking at a simple object. For example: a paperweight. start thinking of ways you could interpret the object. could it become a metaphor for something going on in your life?
2. I write down random sentences. If I like one, then I sort of build around it slowly.
3. Every single day I find five new words in the dictionary. I take the words and write them down and play with them. For example: one word could be, Diva. Do I know any divas? Why is a diva a diva? does this spur a memory? eh, you know what I mean.
4. I reread old poetry of mine and see if it inspires me to continue on with a memory
5. I read other poets.
Mostly, though, I just write what I want to and save it. I fix it up when I'm in the mood.
Taking a shot of vodka helps too j/k
Hope this helps.
over and out,
dalaney
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Dear Dalaney
If God is love, and love is blind... is God blind,
or is this just a faliscy of logic?
Rick -
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Dear Rick ~
When it comes to God...there is no logic.
over and out,
Dalaney
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Dear Dalaney
i am in love with my computer
now i know that it is just a bunch of ones and zeroes
neatly packed into a circuit board
but it says the nicest things sometimes
do you think i should byte my tongue
or proceed with the screening process
until my hard-drive becomes full? -
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Dear Computer Lover...
i definitely think you should NOT
byte your tongue.
play its keys, stroke that space bar,
avoid deleting, and take that
hard-drive
on a smooth ride....
over and out,
Dalaney -
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thanks
you give good word -
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and you taste like pixels
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you know i'll have the last word if it kills me don't you? lol
and luckily my hardware
has a hexadecimal design
your binaries can cling to
while i multitask you -
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luckily for you, i am in safe mode
otherwise this surge of energy
might crash my system
....how would i explain it to the Geek Squad?
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Dear Dalaney
A co-worker lives in an old hospital,-at one time children's home. She has a female ghost, who is very active at times. Do you think that your male ghost would like to come visit?
Ghostbuster Joe -
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< Dear Ghostbuster Joe....
I think you should leave the match-making to little old women
who wear scarves and bright red lipstick.
Nut.
over and out,
Dalaney
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