Consequences

Just some thoughts on an AP feature.

Privilege. With that one word comes responsibility. Everything we do has consequences. When one is tempted to do something, does it not follow that the end result should be explored?

Choices are made in the heat of the moment, at times. I know this, I am guilty of it, as is everyone else. It is what you do with the consequences that determine what kind of person you are.

Which leads me to the subject of this column. I recently read a piece that was so heart wrenching that I wanted to cry. I have experienced what the writer shared and felt such sympathy. I wanted so badly to convey my sorrow at their loss. But...I could not. Why? Because they are ignoring me.

Now, I am not a stalker. If you truly know me, you know that I will discuss things until blue in the face, or drop something like a hot rock if the other party so desires. I only argue when the other person is willing to continue the discussion. So, it was with great surprise that I found I was blocked from commenting to an individual on site. Not because I was being ignored, apparently there are a few who are doing that, for whatever their reasons may be (they chose not to share them with me, in a blinding move of non-communication). No, it was why I was being ignored. I disagreed with a critique done on a contest entry. Now, as poetry is highly subjective, the host was taking a chance even offering to critique the entries at the level promised. However, confident that I can string more than one word together and make sense, I entered. They did not care for the poem and were not the most polite at critiquing. 'Nuff said, that was their opinion. However, when I explained my position, instead of just giving me acknowledgment that it was my opinion and ignoring the entry, they removed it from their contest and blocked me with a very nasty and uncivil IM. (I did apologize for any part I had in the debacle.)

Too bad for them. I have read some of their work. Some needs improvement, some is good, and some is outstanding, just like pretty much any mature writer on site. However, they will never know because I cannot comment on the stuff I truly am impressed with, as I am blocked. Not that my opinion of their work may count for anything, in their book. I just think it sad that people resort to blocking for petty reasons.

I understand that some people cannot take any criticism whatsoever; there is at least one blocking me for that very reason. Another just screams at me to not comment on their writing, even though they lifted the block they had. And, I will respect that, no matter how good I think some of their things are. It is their loss, and a shame that only those who fawn over their work are welcome to comment.

It is a great disservice to themselves when they choose to only hear good things, as it stifles what could be. Deleting critical opinions and screaming at commentors definitely separates the men from the boys, or women from girls in one case.

So, I suppose my point is that if you write and post for the public, not everyone is going to like it. That is no reason to be uncivil, or childish. If you do not like honesty, then be honest yourself and tell people you only want gushings of praise; there are enough that will give them to you. One thing to consider: reputation: it is not what you are, it is the perception of those around you. If you want others to see you a certain way, then it is up to you to make them see you that way. Being a *bunny* or a *bunny* will only enhance that view of you.

If you are ignoring someone, and you either cannot remember why, or it was over something stupid, why not just give the benefit of the doubt and give them a second chance. What have you got to lose? And, you could gain something from it. I will continue to read what I want, but I refuse to feel guilty about any lost comments or cost of points to the writer.

©2007 rous
8-31-07