Introduction

This is my first column. It explains a little bit about why I am who I am, who I am, etc.

First of all......
I'll be 22 in October 2007. I could be a college senior in fall, but I took a year and a half off. The two long-term jobs I've had (working at a movie theatre and as a server in a restaurant) have always had very high turnover rates. Perhaps it shouldn't have, but that's jaded me a little, along with my college classes. The connection with these two areas of my life is that these are the two main places I meet people, and the people I meet at these two places don't usually stay in my life for very long. It used to be that when I'd meet someone I connected with (platonically) we'd exchange numbers and/or e-mail addresses and try to keep in touch, eventually fading and never hearing from each other. It's sad, and I'd miss them. So now, when I find myself connecting with another, I take him or her as a cool person and I'm glad he or she was in my life for however long. And that's about it. I try not to expect anything more, so if I get nothing nothing more I hopefully won't be surprised. I believe it's hopes that breed disappointment. If you hope for nothing, why would you be disappointed if nothing is what you end up getting?

Though I know all this, I still seem to end up getting hurt all too often! I'm a dreamer; as a dreamer I can't help but hope for more than what may be expected. I can't help but hope that dreams come true and sometimes fairytales really happen. I know it's amateur thinking, and I wish I didn't do it.


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I don't consider myself to instigate drama. I avoid that petty attitude that I always need some attention of some sort. I try not to be that person, and I try not to associate with that kind of people. However, it feels as though there's always drama in my life. I credit this to the fact that I'm passionate and deep, but in reality, maybe I am dramatic and just won't admit it to myself! I feel as though my heart is always broken or on the verge of getting broken. I just want a rest! Although, without drama, perhaps I would find myself bored. It probably wouldn't feel normal, either. But I'm tired of being afraid for my heart. When I say "my heart," that could mean my heart directly or indirectly. Directly is obvious, right? But indirectly, what I mean is that I could hurt someone, and in doing that I hurt myself because if he or she is someone I care about then it hurts me to have them hurt (especially if it's by my doing).


Closing
That's all for this one. I don't know how often I'll write or when I'll write next, but let me know if you want me to message you whenever I post a new one.