003: Violent King

A silly spoof of James Bond.

One brownie day, in the city of Brownsville, there was a 2 feet tall brown man. His name was Dire. James Dire. He was the top most skillful secret agent in the Brown Agency. He never failed his boss, Ronald Brown. Little did he know what was in store for him from his boss.
Now James’ boss is not the tall and handsome boss you would might expect. He is a rather vast and plump man. He is so very fat mainly because he is a glutton when it comes to pizza,chips, any type of meat or dessert and intoxicated rats. I know. It’s a bad habit with the rats. He’s never gotten irate, doesn’t act like a dictator but does swagger by people that are not as famous and wealthy like him and his agency.
In the building of the agency and in Ronald’s office, he and James were having a meeting about a new mission. “James. I want you to travel to Naustralia and spy on the king who rules it. I think he is hatching a plot to destroy our city.” Ronald instructed in a strict manner.
“Hey, that’s what I was born to do. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. I am not going to fail you.”James said soothingly .
“I hope I see to that. But if you do fail me, there will be nasty consequences.” Brown informed him.
“Yes. I understand. Well, I guess I’ll be going now.”
“Oh and one more thing before you head out the door.”
“Yes boss?”
“Don’t cause any mischief while your’e out there. Got it?”
“Got it chief. Besides what’s the worst that could happen?”
James left the room, and then the building. As Ronald watched Dire walk in the parking lot from his window, then he took out a remote. He pointed it at his T.V. and pressed the red button on it.
The screened turned on and king-looking man was on the screen.
“Has he left for the journey here
in Naustralia,Ronald?” the strange man asked.
“Yes King Jerald, he has taken off. Or should I say Brother King Jerald. Muhahahahahahahaha!!!” Ronald answered quite evilly.
“EXCELLENT! Now he will go through the traps that I have set up for him. It’s sure that he won’t be able to survive! Hahahaha!!!! This is a mission to remember for sure! At least we’ll remember, right Ronald my dear beloved brother?!?” He asked in a cunningly evil manner. Jerald was so busy laughing that he “accidentally” shoved his mini glass statue on the ground and broke into a million little pieces. “Oh Great Heavens, look what I have done!!! This statue was valuable and fragile. Breaking any kind of statue is bad luck you know.”
“Yes, I am aware of that. Well I need my sleep. Goodnight dear brother.’’ Ronald said. As soon as he had said goodnight, he picked up the remote and turned the television off. As Ronald lay inside his bed a few moments later, he lay thinking if James was in Naustralia. He sure hoped James was. Then he would never have to deal with Mr. Dire ever again.
In fact, Ronald’s guess was right. James was in Naustralia. In Naustralia, where James was driving in his Color Buggy, he looked at the radioactive map on his car. He was only half a mile a away. After what seemed like hours, the car stopped. He jumped out of the car and right in front of him was a colossal kingdom. You could tell it was a palace because there was gold on it. And it wasn’t fools gold, it was real solid gold. Even though it was rather palatial for a kingdom. The color were so very vivid that it looked as if a hunormous giant entirely made of gold was frozen. James went up the stairs. Blocking his way was a gigantic door. Suddenly the doors started opening as if the doors were expecting him.
He walked in. It was amazing! The room was totally fancy and big. He walked forward until a voice behind him said: ”You’re prompt James Dire. Even though I wasn’t expecting any company. My brother had a feeling you would survive my traps. I didn’t believe him. But now here I am, speaking to the top- most skillful agent in the agency,” the voice said. James turned around and in front of him was the man who seemed to be the king. James grew suspicious because the king looked exactly like his boss. Only he was wearing different clothes.
“Why do you look so familiar?” he asked.
“I’m your bosses twin brother. He sent you here so you would face my traps and be demolished. But since my traps didn’t kill you, I guess I’m going to have to do that myself.’’ And with that, he swung two swords out of nowhere. James took out two pocket knives and a pistol. They started fighting and as time passed, James finally got hit in the chest with one of Jerald’s swords. He bent on his knees and lay dead.
King Jerald laughed as hard as if he never laughed that hard before. Then he picked up James and then set him down when they got to a big television. He took up a remote then pressed the red button.
The screen turned on and the face of Ronald Brown appeared. “Did he make it?” Ronald asked his brother quite curiously.
“Yes. Yes he did.”
“Blast that James!!! I wish I’d get him myself!”
“I DID.”
“You killed him? I.. I... I don’t understand. But how did he get there? How did he survive?”
“He must’ve used that stupid Color Buggy you gave him. He must’ve used
the radioactive map on the car to get past my precious booby traps. Ether that or he’s smart enough to know not to go through something that looks like a booby trap. Then he probably saw the location to my home. If you want proof that he’s dead then take a good look.” And with that King Jerald picked James up and held him up to the screen so Ronald could see what seemed to be a dead body.
“Brilliant! No more JAMES DIRE!!! Muhaaahahaha! Wait a second... uhhh... Jerald?”
“Yes, my dear evil brother?”
“Remember when you said holding a famous person who looks dead is a bad omen?”
“Of course. Why Ronald?”
“Because James is starting to move. He grabbed his pistol! Look out!” And James suddenly swung over off of King Jerald's arms, took his pistol, aimed at Jerald’s stomach and fired. It hit him straight in the stomach.
“Noooooo! Brother can you hear me? Brother?”
“I...I.....I ca..can. But it is over. James has won. Sorry I failed Ron. I love unnnnnh.. buh.”
“NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! James, why in all reasons did you kill my brother?!?”
“Because, You had tricked me into traveling here so I would die. I thought I could trust you. Goodbye boss. Sorry about your brother though.” Then James turned off the T.V.
He walked right out the door, but suddenly his heart stopped. “Oh dear me.” said James in a shocked voice. And he tumbled to the ground dead for real.
No one saw him ever again except for the funeral. And that shall be the last adventure James Dire shall ever have. He lived peacefully ever after. {In Heaven}