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Title

Changes...
Looking back on the past year, I think everything about me has changed so much. And it's funny, because I think a lot of the things I've learned from and has helped me mature has been the depression. (My sweet blue & white goodbyes.) I've learned to hold on to those happy moments, and that life most certainly IS NOT perfect. And life might not seem worth living sometimes, but if you just hold on you might catch a glimmer of something in all that blackness that comes so often. And at first, I began to feel like I wasn't quite me, like I was uncomfortable in my own skin and there was this thing inside me that wasn't quite me. I was beginning to scare myself with the things I could think and want to do. And yet...I've learned to be who I am and not care. No one else can hurt me more than I can. (I'm not crazy, just medicated for a chemical imbalance! ) You'd think something like this would make you give up, but somehow it's only made me want to try and harder. Although it's easier to be hopeful and try now that I'm on meds.

And it's weird...but the depression hasn't dented my faith in God, only made it so much more stronger...I can do all through Christ who strengthens me.

I've learned so much, and even if I've been throug and still am going through something that's so hard to deal with sometimes, I wouldn't turn back time for anything because of how much I've grown, in my personality, my faith. And hey, my poetry most certainly has gotten better.

I know I can make it through anything now.....And if God's been there through this, what won't he be there through???

Things are changing so much now and I have this feeling that they're gonna keep changin...let things change! Life is an adventure and I plan to live it as full as I can, making it through the hard time with God's help and holdin' on to everyone & everything I love!

My common sense, however, has remained virtually untouched, as has my poofy hair. Hey, but I love it 'cause it's mine, poofy, frizzy blond waves and all! Mmmkay so I'm not sure what the point of this was...I think I'm just so bored I'm posting a column that I'll probably turn right around and delete.

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  • Miss Splenda
    June 4, 2007
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    Haha. Awesome. This is great, Kallen. I'm so glad that you're happier!!!!!!!!!!

    I guess I'm kinda skeptical of God. Why does he let bad things happen? Why doesn't he change life so that bad things CAN'T happen?

    But yeah, anyway, LOVELY.

    • HoldMe
      June 4, 2007
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      I'm not sure why He lets bad things happen...I do think that everything works out for good, whether or not we know it or know why it's happening...things get crazy sometimes don't they?? All the crap in the world, and it's hard to see God in any of it sometimes maybe...except He's there, through everything. I honestly don't know why bad things happen all the time...I have theories of course, but all I can do is just have faith that He has a reason and a purpose for it...Like, this place might suck, but I have confidence and faith that all this pain will make sense later, when we go to Heaven and never hurt again. Although I'm sure it says in the Bible somewhere...just not sure right now...hmmm, might look that up...always good to get edumacated...

      • Miss Splenda
        June 4, 2007
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        I go to church and am in a Christian family. At this point in time I am wondering why he lets bad things happen. I know there are many theories, but because God is all powerful, I believe that he should be able to make it so us humans are unable to cause the evil that we do. It's nice that he's there through everything, but wouldn't it be better if he fixed the problems? I'm sorry to sound ungrateful, because really, I'm very lucky compared to many and I AM grateful, but just in general- why not take the whole problem away if you have the ability?

        Lol sorry to rant on at you

        • HoldMe
          June 4, 2007
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          No problem, I'm here at any time if you feel more ranting to be necessary lol. I think everyone wonders sometimes why He doesn't stop things if He's all-powerful...I think it's kinda like our relationships with our parents though...He certainly could make things better I mean and there are some things are parents can't do...but He wants us to learn and grow from things, and He's gotta let us have bad things happen to us so we can learn. Ya know? Least that's what I think...We wouldn't get anywhere if our parents just fixed everything for us and kept us all wrapped up in a cutesy, comfy cushy little world...but He's ready to step in and be your peace through it ya know? Although I wish the world was comfy and cushy and cutesy...I envy little kids 'cause they seem so innocent ..... gotta grow up sometimes though...doesn't mean I don't give myself the priveleges of dancing in the rain or playing with toy lightsabers with my friends in the aisle of Dollar General.

          • Miss Splenda
            June 4, 2007
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            lol Good point.

            Hmmm... why didn't he build the world in a different way, a way that would make everyone happy and pure forever? Ha I think these are questions many have thought over the past thousands of years. Ah, well.

            • HoldMe
              June 9, 2007
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              we'll have the answers one day...which is good, 'cause that means i won't have to wrack my poor little brain too hard. my brain doesn't like bein worked more than necessary...

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