My Muse

Just some randomness I wrote last night...

You know, muses are funny things. Well, mine is anyway. He's so unpredictable. One day he can come in, ready for work. I feel like I can write anything. A contest says, use this as your first line. Okay! My English teacher says, "Write a sonnet." No problem! And I'm writing the best I ever have! I've written five poems and came up with the next chapter for a story I'm writing.

And then, another day, he comes into work sick with a bit of a cold. I try to write a poem, but all that comes out are a few mediocre lines.

And then there are the times when my muse sleeps for days on end, and in his stead he sends a huge chunk o' wood called Writer's Block. Now, this fella, Writer's Block, is a HUGE pain in the ass to work with, let me tell ya. We get no work done whatsoever. What's even worse, though, is when my muse takes naps. He sleeps for a little bit, comes in and I write a few good lines or maybe a whole poem, and then he goes back to sleep for a bit. It's quite annoying.

But the thing with muses is that they can do whatever the hell they want, and no one can do a damn thing about it. I can't fire my muse, and he knows I can't! If I did, I'd have no muse and I'd have to find a new one. Do you know how hard it is to find a decent muse these days? If you lose yours, it's nearly impossible to find another one. And even if you do, there's no way of telling if this muse won't be worse and more lazy than your other one.

Getting your old muse back is hard, too. Believe me, I know from experience. I had to give him a promotion (with a huge raise), a corner office, his own parking space, and a very expensive company car. He STILL wouldn't come back until I set him up on a date with a muse of a friend of mine. But that was a long time ago. He and I don't like to talk about those days much. We're good friends, now, though, so don't worry (by the way, he and the other muse went out for a year, but then she cheated on my muse, and they broke up. It was quite a big scandal at the time).

We're only friends, though, mind you, and nothing more. Think of what a huge scandal that would be if we started going out. But no, we're just really good friends. We hang out together a lot after work. You know, see a movie, go shopping, etc.

Oh, and you didn't hear this from me, but I think my muse might be seeing someone. I don't know who, though, but I see him talking on the phone and lately he's "had other plans" when I ask him if he wants to go get some grub. Plus he smelled a little too much like a woman when he came into work LATE yesterday. I'll have to ask him about that. ^.^

But... Oh! Hey, Muse! How's it going? Who am I talking to? Oh, absolutely no one! Just myself, as usual. Yes, yes, I agree, we should probably close up shop and get going now. Do you think you could turn off the lights? I just have something to finish up in here. Oh, sure, we can hang out for a bit tonight. Just let me finish up, okay? Thanks, Mu.

Okay so he's gone now, but he'll be back soon. So I'm gonna go now, and me and my muse'll probably get something to eat. Well, bye! See you some other time!