Blackhearted• Show poetry

Childhood memories.

I remember you beating me.
Throwing me through walls.
Hitting and yelling at me.
Until, I started to cry and bleed.
These are just a few of my
childhood memories.

Thrown through doors and windows.
It's just to hard to believe.
Why would my own family do this
to me?
The ones who are supposed to love
you. Tearing you down to a simple
no body.

I can close my eyes and the pictures
just hit me. Instantly tears start rolling
down my cheeck. Being slammed into
concrete walls, beatin and bruised.
Then in an instant it all turns to rape.

Am I nothing?
Am I no one?
Do I have a reason to be living?
Or should I just cut and bleed?
Should I just kill myself and
leave this life? Or would it make
a difference?

Those are all just childhood
questions comming from all
those memories.
I want to be innocent again.
I want the chance to be free
and live. So why did you hurt me
family?

Was I really that much in the way?
Was I really just that annoying?
Those childhood memories everyday
they kill me again.
Father and Mother, I don't see
how you could have let that fake son
rape me. How could you stand there
and watch?

Actting like it was nothing.
Why couldn't you have stopped him?
Then after words stop all your beatings.
Could you not have been a real family to me.
I guess not. So everyday, from now til the
day I die. I have to live with these childhood memories.
And everyday from now to then. Cut and bleed
to ease this pain my family gave to me.


Insecurities.

Will you break me more then you have?
Will you make me anymore of what I'm not?
Will you tear my heart to shreads even more?
Will you ever let me live in peace?

I will have to kill to get my answers.
Finish destorying what you already started
to for me. Why did you turn me to nothing?
Why did you have to kill me?

You should have just been happy.
You should have just believe in me.
You should have let me go and let me be.
I could have been so peaceful and happy.

Your father did the same to you.
So why did you have to do it to me?
You said you wanted the better for me?
So you stood over me and destroyed me.

You made it so hard.
I no longer can even believe in me.
I have no soul because of you.
Along with that I have no belief's.

I can't believe in love.
I can't place trust in anybody.
I'll never know what love is.
Only because you ruined it for me.

If I can't trust in anyone.
There will never be a peaceful side to me.
I'll live the rest of my life with all these
insecurities. Why'd you have to do this to me?



Family of a broken home.

A boy of a broken home.
A kid with no father, no mother.
Growing up to only know disappointment.
Finally 18 years old. His parents, trying
to fix the things they did. After 12 years
You expect me to turn around and act like
nothing happened.

A drug dealin, drug addict dad.
A drunk mother, always backing down.
Two parents of a broken home.
A fault he's placed on them for to long.
When he should have known in all honesty.
It truely was his fault.

This boy of the broken home.
He simply couldn't walk down the easy road.
He followed the path of his parents stories.
But he hates his dad so bad he'd rather take him out.
Do the things that he did. Beat him, yell at him, hit him
till blood breaks through the skin.

You told me a lie.
And now we're back to me.
I'm in this broken home forever
to stay.

To fail at everything.

I try to live my life.
As if it was a dream.
Forgetting the things,
that really happened.
Over and over again daily.

Trying to forget.
Only makes me remember more.
To be told "You'll never amoun't,
to anything."

Oh, the lovely feelings of.
Failing at everything.
They say.
"Sometimes, to successed.
You must fail."
How does that work?
When you fail at everything?

My last walk.

Do you have the guts?
The guts to follow me?
Can you follow me on
my journey through hell?

Do you have the strive it takes
to break free of the demons? Being
able to continue your walk still?
Do you have the endurance that
your going to need? Will you be
able to will off the devil? When
he's standing right there in your face?

Do you have the guts?
The guts to follow me?
Can you follow me on
my journey through hell?

Can I trust you?
Or will you just end up leaving me?
Can you make this walk?
Are you sure?
By the end I know you'll be scared.
Cause now you get to see where all
the evil in me comes from.

Do you have the guts?
The guts to follow me?
Can you follow me on
my journey through hell?

Can you believe in yourself,
and your trust in god to pull you through?
Do you think that between you two.
You can make it through the gates of hell.
And not get sucked in too?

Well in the end wether your still with me or
not. This was my last walk. I'll see you at your end

Unkown.

I broke the rules and crossed the lines.
Could you even began to think of the things
that have running through my mind?
Sitting, screaming, bleeding.
Taking up my time.
Just another minute of my life.
I got knocked down.
So why the hell am I still down?
Now I'm old and weithered.
Drained, and brittle.
Fragile and broken. As a narrow
pass comes along. There's a soild
wall at the end. I get trapt in.
I'm held there forever. To only be a
memory. Exactly just what I need to be.

Monster.

Look at what you started.
You caused me to change.
From something innocent.
To something deranged.

I will hurt you.
I will make you bleed.
I will make you feel the way
that you did me.

You've created a monster in me.
I'm now something you can't stop.
And something that even the badest
will fear. I'm gonna drink your blood when I
am through.

Rip you limb from limb.
And actually hold your
blood pouring pulsating heart.
You will no longer be anything.

I warned you of the monster.
Now it's time to play the game.

Hidden.

I'm in the darkness.
Of a world that you've
never seen. Monsters,
come and take you.
Torture you, hurt you.
Change you.

Making you remain hidden.
Hiding far up in the trees.
I believe I put far to much
trust in you. Sometimes I
just want to scream.

I just want myself back.
And for you to disappear too.
Why can't we ever get along?
You pushed me back into the
dark. When I step to you.
I'm so ugly for you. At the
very sight you turn and run.
I'm hollow and alone. I gotta
take this all on my own.

Hidden in the shadows.
I can't believe I never hit
my face. Broke my leg,
or created some kind of
disease. I'll never feel like
I'm somewhere I belong.

Forget me.

You think I've lost myself.
I'm no longer who I was.
You say I've changed.
Of course I've changed.
Look at the things you done to me.

I want you to forget me.
I'm nothing. I'm useless,
I'm an empty shell inside.

You've forget you've never tried.
But in your eyes, I have all the
blame. You made the mistakes.
You tore me apart.