| All: When I was a little girl Angie: I always woke up on the right side of the bed. Cassie: Mama always brought me cookies... Stef: ...and she always brought me milk. Angie: My greatest fear Cassie: was skinned knees from a blackened top Stef: and bandaids always made everything better | |
| Maybe we could do it more like: All: When I was a little girl Angie: 4/5 lines Cassie: 4/5 lines Stef: 4/5 lines All: when I was a little girl | |
I'll re-write it: (tell me if my lines are a little too blunt.  )1 = Angie 2 = Cassie 3 = Stef All: When I was a little girl 1: I always woke up on the right side of the bed. Mama always brought me cookies and she always brought me milk. My greatest fear was skinned knees from a blackend top and bandaids always made everything better - 2: except for the scabbed heart. I knew nothing of the circulatory system thump thump thump thump [sounded like the bed against the wall when you made little brother]; didn't know it could be stomped upon like hopscotch squares... It was a new game you taught me, to hurt and be hurt. | |
| umm..I like the second stanza you wrote alot! I'm trying to think of another word besides scabbed tho. How about it this: All: When I was a little girl 1: I always woke up on the right side of the bed. Mama always brought me cookies and she always brought me milk. My greatest fear was skinned knees from a blackend top and bandaids always made everything better - back in the days when I thought a broken heart was the thing the doctor said killed Grandpa. 2:I knew nothing of the circulatory system thump thump thump thump [sounded like the bed against the wall when you made little brother]; didn't know it could be stomped upon like hopscotch squares... It was a new game you taught me, to hurt and be hurt. All: When I was a little girl. 3: The summers heat brought watermelon and new friends. And I learned how to count the stars long before I ever thought to count calories. 1: Pets never died, they just went away. Until I found Daddy flushing Goldy down the toilet. Then, Dadddy went away too. All: When I was a little girl. I'm not sure about that either, just let me know. also, who's reading those lines in the second stanza. | |
| rockin'! now I think we all should read an individual line. 1: I thought I'd never 2: grow up. I thought I'd never 3: see you cry. I thought I'd never 1: even have to say goodbye. 2: Looks like you never prepared me for the real world All: when I was a little girl. Should this be the ending? | |
| YES! That's perfect!!!! so, are you using the elevator prewrite? and I posted the link for my other prewrite, if you could pretty please read it, I can't decide. And Stef picked a prewrite. so, now we just need the order? |
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Author notes
This is for my team in project poetry, I thought it was the easiest way to do this.
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It's hard to know where to add in... but I guess I can try a couple of bits::-
3::
snowball fights in late December
after school, we'd have a bonfire;
the carols sung, the merry cheers
of the happy years and they went so smooth,
with hot cocoa on the stove in the kitchen,
to warm my heart and mind.
these are just snippets
3::
then the world seemed clear
a blur of falsehoods told to me -
but wasn't it beautiful when I believed
that santa claus really existed;
did you know I felt safe those days
when Daddy was all that protected me. -
This broke my heart...tell me when you want me to write <3
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All: When I was a little girl
1: I always woke up on the right side of the bed.
Mama always brought me cookies
and she always brought me milk.
My greatest fear
was skinned knees from a blackend top
and bandaids always made everything better -
back in the days
when I thought a broken heart
was the thing the doctor said
killed Grandpa.
2:I knew nothing of the circulatory system
thump thump
thump thump
[sounded like the bed against the wall
when you made little brother];
didn't know it could be stomped upon
like hopscotch squares...
It was a new game you taught me,
to hurt and be hurt.
All: When I was a little girl.
3: The summers heat
brought watermelon and new friends.
And I learned how to
count the stars
long before
I ever thought
to count calories.
1: Pets never died,
they just went away.
Until I found Daddy
flushing Goldy down the toilet.
Then, Dadddy went away too.
All: When I was a little girl.
1: I thought I'd never
2: grow up. I thought I'd never
3: see you cry. I thought I'd never
1: even have to say goodbye.
2: Looks like you never prepared me
for the real world
All: when I was a little girl.
This is what we have so far, if you have anything, post it here and I'll add it. I know I want to end with those single lines that cassie wrote, but any additions or changes you have before, go for it! also, any suggestions on the order for our four poems?
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