| Sitting with a silvery knife, Clutched in creamy white knuckled hands A sharp blade pressing into Skin dampened by sweat I think back To the days when only scraped knees Brought tears Days when Mom Was here Back when I had nothing In the world to fear All I saw was light Stars Sparkling Like silver Each one I thought Put in the sky for me Cute little drawings Straight A's Everything was going my way Then one day I thought of you A thing only known To me 5 years ago It hit me like a ton of bricks I felt as brittle Could break under any pressure But I kept going Kept trying to live The people around me Were no help at all All their teasing and tormenting Echoed in my head Until one day I crossed the fine line I had been balancing on Or I should say I fell off Plunged into the darkness I am stuck in today And though they saw me crack Saw me wallowing in tears Saw me reliving all my fears They kept on with their lives All passing me by No one cared I didn't matter As I don't matter now So as I sit here and ponder Whether to do myself in Remember me always Cause you were a great friend I cant wait for tomorrow I am going to go to drivers ed hopefully! Also I have a meeting with My old teacher which is trying to talk me into going to night school which I have reasons why Im not going. For one thing I have to get a job, at night so I can support myself because if I dont have money to pay Im not going to have a place to live... also with Nicole leaving and me going to take care of her I cant do it. When nicole gets better Im going in the army whether people can deal with it or not. Its something I want to do and Im going to do |
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I thought of this from deep down inside of me i might do it.
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