Addline: Now That Was Bad...Contest at All poetry

galfalfa	'The sentences won out over the verse...here are my favourites for worst opening sentences.. Gold 1. I sat and dozed slightly as the wind bristled past my ears and the gentle mechanicle groan of the crane continued while Andy yapped on about how expensive the final stage of the bridge would be and how heavy this single steel gurder was, then I heard "Whoops" but no explanation. - By One Angry Monkey Silver 1. Once upon a time, there was a midget who loved to exercise, but he could never reach the pull up bars, so he invented midget pull up bars, but everyone hated him because they kept banging their shins on them........ By J Rhys Davies Bronze 1. When the aliens arrived and it was totally unexpected, you know, well, then, you see, Mary Anne opened the door and oh my gosh there they were but she thought they were just trick or treaters so she gave them candy and guess what... they pulled out their lazer guns and shot her anyways. By KittyBlue I will need the above 3 entries to post their worst opening sentence onto a poem page and enter it into the trophy awarding contest page...thanks Thanks to all for joining in - loved all the entries! I have been asked by Kevin to provide a more detailed explanation on how this contest works. Each add a line is an entry, except for mine - and each entry is in the running for a Gold Trophy (300 points) for 1st place ... Silver Trophy for 2nd place and Bronze Trophy for 3rd place. There are no 3 predetermined or prenamed entries that will win this contest..this is not a tiered contest - it's a one time deal...everyone has a shot at it. I will select the three entries (add a lines) that i like best on November 5th, the closing date of the add a line and i'll award the trophies on the contest page since i cannot award trophies here. My three favourites will then post their entries on a poem page and submit it on my contest awarding page in order to receive their trophies allpoetry.com/Contest/2302933 The End Yes, this is a contest, it may not look like a contest but it is. I have made up a trophy awarding contest page and the three winning add a lines will submit their work here to receive their trophies ... allpoetry.com/Contest/2302933 The contest is for 300 points and the gold, silver and bronze trophies. Two options for the add a line ...please specify your option when adding 1. The worst opening sentence when writing a story and yes they can be run on sentences if you like with these ( - ..... ands, buts, also), of a reasonable length as in not the whole friggin page 2. The worst opening rhyming stanza when writing a poem I will start it off by these - yours will be much better i'm sure 1. As the clock struck midnight, 31 year old Norman Wanker was startled awake by the sound of his own urine splashing off his chin, yelling for his mommy he couldnt help but feel relieved he hadnt pissed on his teddy bear again. ` 2. I think i may end my life It's nothing but heartache and strife I'll leave a note to inform my spouse but first i'll shop to buy a blouse ` 1. Striding across the swaying deck of his ship, Captain James Stopplemire stopped to bark out the order, "wind in the poop deck"..all the while ignoring the nervous poo that was pushing against his own cargo hatch
Origami Shapes	Red thingymajigs pursed an it blown a noise than it spoken of love is beautyfull waves.
speakingup4kids	#2 Today I think I got influenza trying to write an opening stanza for some poetry contest bonanza galfalfa is hosting the extravaganza
Melodies	#2 Tie your shoes and zip your dress and clean up that big awful mess that the dog did? Now, confess! I think I love you less and less!
RoseRomance	I think that I shall never see a dog that does not have to pee on my lovely dogwood tree... or, for that matter, right on me!
J Rhys Davies	1. Once upon a time, there was a midget who loved to exercise, but he could never reach the pull up bars, so he invented midget pull up bars, but everyone hated him because they kept banging their shins on them........
KittyBlue	1. When the aliens arrived and it was totally unexpected, you know, well, then, you see, Mary Anne opened the door and oh my gosh there they were but she thought they were just trick or treaters so she gave them candy and guess what... they pulled out their lazer guns and shot her anyways.
Lavender Love	l. On Christmas morning Lucy was like sooooooo excited and she yanked her stocking down and looked inside and there was nothing in there but one piece of candy and a big fat cockroach and Lucy screamed and cried and that went on for awhile and then she started playing with the cockroach because it was still in the stocking, you know, and she had the best Christmas ever!
galfalfa	1. The fallen hunter lay there on the cold hard ground knowing full well that any noise, any sign of life would result in being mauled to death by the hungry Grizzly that sniffed out his still form...all the while mentally kicking himself for eating that can of brown beans the night before....Phfffffffffffffffffffffffft
speakingup4kids	#1 This is a story about a person who couldn't write a story but said she would write a story so had to attempt to write a story so here is the story that she attempted to write when she could not write a story about a girl who couldn't write a story.
Billbard	Lucky am I you did apprehend me I love you although you offend me In a gruesome manner you send me If we do not part it will end me.
brevans	Santa santa claus and his big black boots always wearing that big ugly red suit whiping those deers, and always laughin with cheers. to me santa i think was drinkin some beer as he flew thru the air whippin those deer with that red suit was santa some queer, why else with kids he would always get near, was santa an old man we should have feared
LAPoe	#1, The day before Colin's risky colon surgery, Colin acted out of character and ate a whole tube of chapstick, 1.7lb's of cheddar cheese and half a charbroiled chicken coated heavily in spicy jalapeno chutney, he figured why go out with a whimper when you can go out with a bang.
Sheshh	Option 1. and all of a sudden he knew why he was here. it was because the witch had come to steal her. let's flash back...
femurlee	#2 Pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey Is the game we'll play at the Halloween party. I'll come as a pumpkin pie -- orange -- And my husband will cook me -- a range.
brevans	Garth brooks, Tom Jones on a satuday nite watchin tv with snoop dogg as he prays before he cuts the turkey with a knife, Oh Boy Its tv lands marathon snoop doggs fav nite, with beaver cleaver, and daddy knows best wow no way will soop doggy rest
Lady Altheia	I wrote this as a poem: Roses are red. Violets are blue. Honey is sweet. So are you. Sleep with me.
grannyeri	He was such an imitator Not really an ilustrator but only an indicator serving as a masquerader for the one who was not.
DarkenedAuras	#2. Hey everyone come gather round And drive that monster into the ground So no one can find his remains It will make all insane :D
galfalfa	2. You took my heart and threw it in the gutter While eating a snack of jam and peanut butter "I can't live without you" is what i so want to utter Can ya spare me 3 hours cuz i do tend to stutter
potanical	2/ The moon shone on the village well, This filthy poem I daren't tell! (so if ya don't know it, too bad!?
One Angry Monkey	1. I sat and dozed slightly as the wind bristled past my ears and the gentle mechanicle groan of the crane continued while Andy yapped on about how expensive the final stage of the bridge would be and how heavy this single steel gurder was, then I heard "Whoops" but no explanation.
liquidmindforever	I don't give. A shit on you falls the pitiful prideful pandamonium. Price of tatters going up till the sky fills rain holds tight her jeans seem creased in faded glory
brevans	Darkness, deep within me, layers under my soul Sadness, the unseen angle, with broken Wings Depression, the son of the midnight father suicide, the tree with unseen freedom that the ropes awings and swings with deaths whisper, cold,dark and isolation, from life i'll take a long vacation, for i have longed for a relation, hell is my next gas station
galfalfa	1. For the last time, I'm not bald ! , screamed Melvin Morehead as he slammed the phone down cutting off the Dolly Parton wig selling solicitor's yodelling spiel -"Why oh why can't those people take no for an answer,I've just more head than hair"
LAPoe	#1,Just as Jimmy was about to produce the largest turd on record,the man from Guinness Book of World Records called to say his plane was running late and could Jimmy please hold that turd till he gets there, as he would need to be present when turd is birthed and then it would be weighed for precise poundage, no answer came from Jimmy, as he turned blue and passed out.
galfalfa	1. Discovering he was fresh out of condoms Ted resigned himself to the fact he'd be taking yet another cold shower, until he spied a ziplock sandwhich bag hanging out of his Dumbo lunch box.
majix	Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Lone Ranger was disquised as a cactus and Tonto, thinking he was a porcupine, shot him.
brevans	al gore with his lisp and all walked over to al frankin and said, we together will take over this world, elton told me we could, he did, Oh Frankin let me fix that hair you silly man you
galfalfa	1. Twas a dark and stormy night, leastwise until the rain let up and the moon shone out from behind a cloud - Twas a night
Cinnarry	2-My penis is conjoined with my brother But I love it like there is no other When we take a piss, I suddenly wish It wasn't as big as a cow udder.
Sarah957	Once upon a time in a land far far away there was a prince who slew a dragon to save a princess. Princess Pinelope. Or was that the name of the cat?
brevans	once time there was a one who came and met two, soon without protection it became three, than four than five than six, no longer one was one but now it was more than seven, without protection it will be alot more than 11, how high can one go with when one becomes two, if you count wuth me can we fit within a shoe, i was beatin and beatin and beatin some more, no matter what i did i ran and ran and far as i can, will rodgers, silly billy where is willie jelly jam so i am sam
-Yvette-	There seems to be much delusion uttered here within, with billiard bald men and dog dirt on the sidewalk and do it yourself contraceptive device it makes one wonder who is taking the proveribial and who is twice as nice will admit am lost as lost as can be just gatecrashing with a part four to join galfafa's all poetry party
brevans	Many many worlds come together, such great winds from all around make wonderful wheather winds colide, and thunder rolls as the lightenting cracks, all together love of poetry we do not lack
Unca Goat	As Melvin tried to quietly sneak through the door, he was frightened by the sharp squeak of the rusty hinge. As terror seized him, he was sure he had been heard. Unfortunately, it wasn't the hinge but his own been-dip laden lunch that had given him away and not a hinge.
Happy Pilgrim	1.) This is the story that was twisted and turned until the story didn't exist so that the story was actually fake; so what's with a story that isn't a real story but is said to be a real story when the true story is just a fake? The story is about a writer who's writing their story about the story of their grandmother who told the writer of the story about the story of their ancestors. Her story was twisted and turned by an ancestor who was writing the story about a story writer from long ago--who was a liar. So the story writer who's writing the story about their grandmother's story of the story of the ancestors who's writing the story of the liar is fake. So the story is true in some parts because the grandmother said the story was true...but who wants to believe grandmother when her story is made up by Alzheimers?
leannewales	If it wasn't for me I would not exist I would have no leg I would have no wrist Or any other body parts written on my list because I wouldn't have any if I didn't exist.
LongRoadHome	The sun rose with a terrific boom pouring bright and yellow into my room I knew then that life would be good because my girl was there and I had wood. (2)