| My wife left me
And my dog has died They said I had my job But they have lied Now cold and alone On the street I be With ragged stained pants And no company | |
| Was burying my dog and what do you know?
Saw wife running with best friend Joe. Went to the state to pick up a check, They said it ran out, now im really on the deck. | |
| They towed away my car and took my tv
My phone disconnected missed call from Jeopardy I ate a day old burger that I found in the trashcan Now I got diarrhea and the only wipes my hand :( | |
| Now, I am sitt'n on this street
thinking 'bout all these things and wondering what's next Can things get worse for me? | |
| A pigeon flying overhead drops a big white bomb
I hits me square in the eye while missing everyone It blinds me for a sec or so and I stumble into street A taxi smashes into me and rips off both my feet :( | |
| Lying in the hospital,
stumps bound and being fed, a dyslexic cleaner comes along, removes the name above my bed, Medication comes around, sleeping juice i'm given, i wake up in the morning, no penis to be found. | |
| What else I wonder will happen to me
How much of this will I survive I need my feet to get around I need my pecker to thrive | |
| but wait! they have a new plan,
a transplant they give me, to restore me to a full man, awake, i gingerly pull back the sheet, my eyes go first to these tiny wee, feet, eyes travel north, i scream but no sound, the willy of a four | |
| Try to sue the bloody bastards
But the judge threws our the case So I hobble out of courtroom Head hung in full discrase | |
| Reports jump in my face the case of doc vs wee
Trying to get the scoop, saddest case they've seen Why you lose the case they say was it just a con No the judge dismissed it, for had no leg to stand on | |
| So off he hopped as best he could
Wondering why so much bad luck he's found At the Barbers hop, hop up said he Oops his ear fell to the ground What's going on 'ear said the luckless man I've had enough of this Where will I hang my | |
| Glasses now
Oh Strewth I need a P**s | |
| I thought I'd found a new fast friend
Turned out he was no friend, just fast Had his way with me then threw me out Left me cold and naked on the grass | |
| And I lay there cold and shivering
Bemoaning my latest distress Along came a huge dog And upon my cold body did he digress | |
| Now my wounds still healing,
The dog pee did turn my wee dick green, It did sneeze, snot of a strange colour, The worse the doctor had seen, One morning while trying to go wee wee, my poor dick it fell on the floor, Ok said the vet | |
| Ok said the veterinary surgeon,
A horses dick is all that's left, Nothing more | |
| Nothing more??!! who'd need MORE??!!
Who'd not settle for one so sublime Just get right to work, doc I can hardly wait til it's mine | |
| The vet, he rubbed him with liniment,
sewed on the shiney new cock, everything seemed to be dandy, until a filly in a field he did spot, he reared up on his legs, the blood rushed from his brain, the zip of the front of his trouse | |
| was burtsing from excessive strain | |
| Off to the filly he did trot
With 'it' out in the lead He mounted her and then began Until heeee laid his seed | |
| The filly she let out a nay
Attracted maiden walking by And when she saw the massive tool She decided to give it a try | |
| but since it was his horrid day
she tried it and ran with a scream and then he wondered to himself what here smells like gangrene and he looked down and sure enough his tool was rotting the filly was too rough | |
| lol this was fucking hilarious!! good job |
