XxSuicidal-LovexX• Show poetry

My name is Bianca, for those who care..I'm 15, hate life and people, and am what some may call "pessimistic". I can't say I really care about anything. I could live a hundred years, or I could die this very minute. Either way it doesn't matter. Also..your opinion of me, means very little. I couldn't care less about anything that escapes your lips, especially if it involves me, so save your breath. I don't trust anyone, or anything. People are just one big lie in general, so why trust anything that comes out of their mouth? There's no such thing as friendship, loyalty, or love. They're all just humongous lies people tell you. Love being the biggest one. I've given up on love entirely. Nobody ever has loved me, and never will either. So why keep on hoping..-sigh- All hope is gone. There's nothing tying me to this world anymore, so I'm going to remove myself from it. Nothing makes sense anymore. That a "God" created everything, and we're all just in this big universe. Ha, save your breath trying to make me believe any of it. Religion is stupid. The fact that there are so many, and the fact all the teachings don't make sense, tell me that there's no such thing. Suicide has become part of my daily vocabulary, especially in my thoughts. How I wish in the blink of an eye, I could die and take all those I despised to hell with me. Most people don't deserve to be happy, but they are anyways. Yet it's as they say "Life is an unfair game". My heart is shattered, and those pieces have been crushed and shattered again. Nothing is left except dust and black, icy blood. 'Silver razors and Crimson tears, never has such a beautiful sight been bestowed upon my gaze'. A little line I made up to describe my views on cutting. Everyone says it's a bad thing, that it's wrong and whatnot. Personally I've sliced my flesh to pieces and not cared in the least. It's actually quite exhilarating to see red rivers flowing from your wound, and that little crimson droplet hanging off the edge of your razor blade after. A lovely sight indeed. People might ask, "well, doesn't that hurt??" and reply always has been "No." I've grown so emotionally numb to the point where not even physical pain bothers me. Not even fracturing my arm and skull bothered me in the least. -sigh- Enough said. There's nothing left about me that needs to be known by others. So it's in your best interest to stay away from me...Farewell.




Bands:
-Evanescence
-Aiden
-Hoshimura Mai
-Hamasaki Ayumi
-Slipknot
-My chemical Romance
-Papa Roach
-Hawthorne Heights
-Rie Fu
-BoA


Songs:
-Concrete Angel
-Dead Memories
-Snuff
-My Immortal
-Like You
-Dearest
-Sakura Biyori
-Ohio is for Lovers
-Every Heart
-Life is like a Boat
-Vermilion Pt. 2



Lyrics:
-I've got a jet black heart. It's all fucked up, and it's falling apart.
-We were never alive. And we won't be born again.
-Oh, I'll never survive. With dead memories in my heart.
-A myth that i have to believe in. All i need to make it real..is one more reason
-My heart is just too dark to care..I can't destroy what isn't there.
-Nobody knows who I really am. I never felt this empty before.
-A name is written on a polished rock. A Broken heart that the world had forgot.
-But though you're still with me..I've been alone all along.
-I long to be like you. Lie cold in the ground like you.
-I used to be love struck, Now I'm just fucked up. Pull up my sleeves and see the pattern of my cuts.
-These tears are deadly.
-I'm so hollow, when am I confessed to die..?
...................................................................................

A song that..somewhat describes me...

~Life is Like a Boat-Rie Fu~

Nobody knows who I really am
I never felt this empty before
And if I ever need someone to come along
Who’s gonna comfort me, and keep me strong

We are all rowing the boat of fate
The waves keep on comin’and we can’t escape
But if we ever get lost on our way
The waves would guide you thru another day

Tooku de iki wo shiteru toumei ni natta mitai
Kurayami ni omoe takedo mekakushi sareteta dake
Inori wo sasagete atarashii hi wo matsu
Azayaka ni hikaru umi sono hate made

Nobody knows who I really am
Maybe they just don’t give a damn
But if I ever need someone to come along
I know you would follow me, and keep me strong

Hito no kokoro wa utsuri yuku nukedashitaku naru
Tsuki wa mata atarashii shuuki de fune wo tsureteku

And every time I see your face
The oceans heave up to my heart
You make me wanna strain at the oars
And soon I can see the shore

Ah, I can see the shore ...
When will I see the shore ...

I want you to know who I really am
I never though I’d feel this way towards you
And if you ever need someone to come along
I will follow you, and keep you strong

Tabi wa mada tsuduiteku odaya kana hi mo
Tsuki wa mata atarashii shuuki de fune wo terashi dasu
Inori wo sasagete atarashii hi wo matsu
Azayaka ni hikaru umi sono hate made

And every time I see your face
The oceans heave up to my heart
You make me wanna strain at the oars
And soon I can see the shore

Unmei no fune wo kogi
Nami wa tsugi kara tsugi he to watashi-tachi wo osou kedo
Soremo suteki na tabi ne dore mo suteki na tabi ne



(Yeah, it's in Japanese. Deal with it.)
`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`




*~My statue stands in a shaded place...an angel girl with an upturned face...my name is written on a polished rock...a broken heart that the world had forgot...~*
-Concrete Angel...