See the problem with love is not the mere fact that it actually exsists, nor that it hurts, but the idea that once you are fully in love with someone, then they leave you and your surroundings, love seems fake, as if it never was. Then you only believe in hate, pain, anguish, and that passes onto others, until you have hurt so many people, that you have hurt yourself, and take the final step...death.
Okay, so I kind of disappeared for a long ass time there. So, I'm just going to rewrite this as an update type thing. My name is Xavier, but most people call me Zave. I have matured a lot over the past year and I don't think I'm as much of a dick as I was last January, even though I still have one
. I'm now eighteen years old and a completely straightedged kiddo. If I could go straightedged, I'm sure anyone can. I moved out of my dad's house and took my little sister with me a few months before I turned eighteen. She has it pretty damn rough, I must say, since she has to switch between my trailer (yes, I bought a trailer, apartment got too expensive) and her friends house a few times a month. I work quite a few jobs now, and am working extremely hard in school and I am determined to graduate next year, I won't be held back again. I'm now a mostly A student, with a C+ in Chemistry. I use to suck at life, but I've gotten a lot better . I wrecked my truck, but managed to get some cash together and bought a 1986 Chevy Blazer. Oh, and I am madly in love with this girl named Tia. (she is a sweetheart, she helped me get the new truck)
This is kinda what I look like now, some of you might notice significant differences.
Hair: Black and depending on the day, spiked in random places or flat
Piercings: I've had all of them removed. Including the bridge
Tatoos: a safety pin on my right upper arm that looks like it is stuck in my arm, and on my left arm all of Jack Skellington, I recently got RIP 1989-2004, dedicated to a certian girl on my upper back, almost at my neck. stars down my left arm. On each shoulder I have the druid snakes
Height: 5'6" 1/2, I know, I'm short
Facial hair: fuck shaving, i have a beard type thing, usually just whiskers
Weight: 225 FUCK DIETS!!
Eyes: dark brown
Acne: not any more
Do you smoke? nope
Do you drink? Nope
Do you do drugs? nope.
Have you ever injuried yourself on purpose? Nope, I'm scared to death of blood.
Can you skate? im geting back into it
Have you ever been arrested? Yup
Have you ever had sex?
Have you ever been in love? yeah, first time killed me, and her... second time hopefully will go better
Have you ever cheated on your gf/bf? sadly, yes, I have
Do you regret it? Yeah, I know how much I hurt them, and that kills me
Do you have big plans for the future? Uh, I'm going to college, and that is BIG for me
I'm a registered voter now, and for the democratic party. And in the next election in 2008 I will exercise my right as an American citizen to vote. You should too.
BEST CONVERSATION EVER
Monkey hits Simba
Simba: What did you do that for?!
Monkey: It doesn't matter; it is in the past.
Simba: Yeah, but it still hurts
Monkey: Yes, the past can hurt, but the way I see it, you can either run from it, or learn from it
LEARN FROM THOSE WORDS
*BEST MONOLOUGE EVER
“Sure, there was a lot more punks than there were four years earlier, but there were just as many posers. Posers, are people that look punk, but they did it for fashion, and they were fools, they would say, “Anarchy in the UK.” You see? Posers. Anarchy in the UK. What the fuck’s that? What good is that to those of us in Utah, America? It was a Sex Pistols thing, right? They were from England. They were British. That’s what they did. They were allowed to go on about “anarchy in the UK.” You don’t live your life by lyrics. I mean, that’s all you ever heard from these trendy fucks. Like, ‘Did you hear the new Smith’s album, its fucking terrif!’ Kids are walking around Utah saying ‘terrif’ with that stupid little English twang. See what I mean? What the fuck’s up with the English bullshit? You know Jag? He’s a fag. I knew a girl that would only have sex with a guy if he had a fucking accent. Can you think of anything more ludicrous in your life? So every asshole in Salt Lake City—and let me tell ya, there are plenty of assholes in this general region—who want a little of this, would get her drunk and put on some kind of stupid fucking accent like, “Hey, hey, mistress, do you fancy a shag?” And there she would—fucking knees in the sky. It was sad. It made me really sad. Poor girl had no self-respect. See, to me, England was nothing but a big fucking American state, like, uhh, North Dakota, or Canada. You gotta look at me and say, “Hey, buddy, why are you so mad?” And I’ll tell you. ‘Cause for all the fawning that went over to the English bands in the S.L.C., those fucking English chaps could only say shit about us Americans. All we were to them was a bunch of hicks. Well, you know what? I’m not a fucking hick! I don’t wear cowboy boots, I hate the fucking rodeo, horses smell like shit to me, and I don’t fuck anyone in my own bloodline. By definition, I’m not a redneck, and god damn it, I’m not a fucking hick. ‘Well, the sun never sets on the British Empire.’ Well, the sun never sets on my asshole! Another thing that pissed me off, talking about who started punk rock music. Was it, the Sex Pistols in England? Was it the Ramones and the Velvet Underground in New York? It was the Ramones! It was the Sex Pistols! Ahhh! WHO CARES WHO STARTED IT?! It’s music, I don’t care who started it, and I don’t give a fuck. But what I do know, we did it harder, heh, god damn, we did if faster, and we did it with more love, baby! Uh! You can never take that away from us. Exhibit A. It’s my only exhibit really, but you know what? I think its pretty fucking good.” ~Stevo, SLC Punk
LAUGH HARD AT THOSE WORDS
I play pretty much any intstrument you can name, since I work in a music shop now.
My poetry is dark and shitty. I like to write short stories more though.
Most of my stories are dark, but that is not because of my past, or my supposed future, but rather by the mere fact that I LOVE HORROR AND STEPHEN KING!!! I don't think that I write too well, but I think I write well enough for my own purposes, which in the end is all that truely matters.
Umm, I like to listen to people, so if you ever need to talk you can IM me on AIM at PunkRockerX666XM and MSN is the same thing
Well, I've seen other people on this site post their favorite music and such, so I figure I shall too.
Wihelm Scream, Harison Bergeron, Right Aways, Five Iron Frenzy, City of Vanity (RIP Kyle Watts), Lawrence Arms, Lagwagon, The Great Redneck Hope, Bleed the Dream, Blood Brothers, El Pus, The Commies, In Death We Rise, Orgy, Leer 43, Another Shade of Hate, Halifax, Fall of Troy, Against all Authority, The Nicotine Fits, Dropkick Murphys, Flogging Molly, The Mansfields, 3 Round Burst, Monsters of Mock, Runsfasterscared, Planes Mistaken for Stars, Sinai Beach, Bullet for my Valentine, Jedi Mind Tricks, The Letters Organize, Hands like Guns, Love me Destroyer, The Agony scene, GBH, The F-Ups, The Eyeliners, Gogolo Bordello, Something Corporate, Reel Big Fish, Less Than Jake, and more underground bands than you will ever hope to know.
I plan to live forever
or die trying
Okay, so I kind of disappeared for a long ass time there. So, I'm just going to rewrite this as an update type thing. My name is Xavier, but most people call me Zave. I have matured a lot over the past year and I don't think I'm as much of a dick as I was last January, even though I still have one
. I'm now eighteen years old and a completely straightedged kiddo. If I could go straightedged, I'm sure anyone can. I moved out of my dad's house and took my little sister with me a few months before I turned eighteen. She has it pretty damn rough, I must say, since she has to switch between my trailer (yes, I bought a trailer, apartment got too expensive) and her friends house a few times a month. I work quite a few jobs now, and am working extremely hard in school and I am determined to graduate next year, I won't be held back again. I'm now a mostly A student, with a C+ in Chemistry. I use to suck at life, but I've gotten a lot better . I wrecked my truck, but managed to get some cash together and bought a 1986 Chevy Blazer. Oh, and I am madly in love with this girl named Tia. (she is a sweetheart, she helped me get the new truck)This is kinda what I look like now, some of you might notice significant differences.
Hair: Black and depending on the day, spiked in random places or flat
Piercings: I've had all of them removed. Including the bridge
Tatoos: a safety pin on my right upper arm that looks like it is stuck in my arm, and on my left arm all of Jack Skellington, I recently got RIP 1989-2004, dedicated to a certian girl on my upper back, almost at my neck. stars down my left arm. On each shoulder I have the druid snakes
Height: 5'6" 1/2, I know, I'm short
Facial hair: fuck shaving, i have a beard type thing, usually just whiskers
Weight: 225 FUCK DIETS!!
Eyes: dark brown
Acne: not any more
Do you smoke? nope
Do you drink? Nope
Do you do drugs? nope.
Have you ever injuried yourself on purpose? Nope, I'm scared to death of blood.
Can you skate? im geting back into it
Have you ever been arrested? Yup
Have you ever had sex?
Have you ever been in love? yeah, first time killed me, and her... second time hopefully will go better
Have you ever cheated on your gf/bf? sadly, yes, I have
Do you regret it? Yeah, I know how much I hurt them, and that kills me
Do you have big plans for the future? Uh, I'm going to college, and that is BIG for me
I'm a registered voter now, and for the democratic party. And in the next election in 2008 I will exercise my right as an American citizen to vote. You should too.
BEST CONVERSATION EVER
Monkey hits Simba
Simba: What did you do that for?!
Monkey: It doesn't matter; it is in the past.
Simba: Yeah, but it still hurts
Monkey: Yes, the past can hurt, but the way I see it, you can either run from it, or learn from it
LEARN FROM THOSE WORDS
*BEST MONOLOUGE EVER
“Sure, there was a lot more punks than there were four years earlier, but there were just as many posers. Posers, are people that look punk, but they did it for fashion, and they were fools, they would say, “Anarchy in the UK.” You see? Posers. Anarchy in the UK. What the fuck’s that? What good is that to those of us in Utah, America? It was a Sex Pistols thing, right? They were from England. They were British. That’s what they did. They were allowed to go on about “anarchy in the UK.” You don’t live your life by lyrics. I mean, that’s all you ever heard from these trendy fucks. Like, ‘Did you hear the new Smith’s album, its fucking terrif!’ Kids are walking around Utah saying ‘terrif’ with that stupid little English twang. See what I mean? What the fuck’s up with the English bullshit? You know Jag? He’s a fag. I knew a girl that would only have sex with a guy if he had a fucking accent. Can you think of anything more ludicrous in your life? So every asshole in Salt Lake City—and let me tell ya, there are plenty of assholes in this general region—who want a little of this, would get her drunk and put on some kind of stupid fucking accent like, “Hey, hey, mistress, do you fancy a shag?” And there she would—fucking knees in the sky. It was sad. It made me really sad. Poor girl had no self-respect. See, to me, England was nothing but a big fucking American state, like, uhh, North Dakota, or Canada. You gotta look at me and say, “Hey, buddy, why are you so mad?” And I’ll tell you. ‘Cause for all the fawning that went over to the English bands in the S.L.C., those fucking English chaps could only say shit about us Americans. All we were to them was a bunch of hicks. Well, you know what? I’m not a fucking hick! I don’t wear cowboy boots, I hate the fucking rodeo, horses smell like shit to me, and I don’t fuck anyone in my own bloodline. By definition, I’m not a redneck, and god damn it, I’m not a fucking hick. ‘Well, the sun never sets on the British Empire.’ Well, the sun never sets on my asshole! Another thing that pissed me off, talking about who started punk rock music. Was it, the Sex Pistols in England? Was it the Ramones and the Velvet Underground in New York? It was the Ramones! It was the Sex Pistols! Ahhh! WHO CARES WHO STARTED IT?! It’s music, I don’t care who started it, and I don’t give a fuck. But what I do know, we did it harder, heh, god damn, we did if faster, and we did it with more love, baby! Uh! You can never take that away from us. Exhibit A. It’s my only exhibit really, but you know what? I think its pretty fucking good.” ~Stevo, SLC Punk
LAUGH HARD AT THOSE WORDS
I play pretty much any intstrument you can name, since I work in a music shop now.
My poetry is dark and shitty. I like to write short stories more though.
Most of my stories are dark, but that is not because of my past, or my supposed future, but rather by the mere fact that I LOVE HORROR AND STEPHEN KING!!! I don't think that I write too well, but I think I write well enough for my own purposes, which in the end is all that truely matters.
Umm, I like to listen to people, so if you ever need to talk you can IM me on AIM at PunkRockerX666XM and MSN is the same thing
Well, I've seen other people on this site post their favorite music and such, so I figure I shall too.
Wihelm Scream, Harison Bergeron, Right Aways, Five Iron Frenzy, City of Vanity (RIP Kyle Watts), Lawrence Arms, Lagwagon, The Great Redneck Hope, Bleed the Dream, Blood Brothers, El Pus, The Commies, In Death We Rise, Orgy, Leer 43, Another Shade of Hate, Halifax, Fall of Troy, Against all Authority, The Nicotine Fits, Dropkick Murphys, Flogging Molly, The Mansfields, 3 Round Burst, Monsters of Mock, Runsfasterscared, Planes Mistaken for Stars, Sinai Beach, Bullet for my Valentine, Jedi Mind Tricks, The Letters Organize, Hands like Guns, Love me Destroyer, The Agony scene, GBH, The F-Ups, The Eyeliners, Gogolo Bordello, Something Corporate, Reel Big Fish, Less Than Jake, and more underground bands than you will ever hope to know.
I plan to live forever
or die trying
- Last seen on Oct 26 9:36 PM. Member since January 22, 2005.
- I'm a diamond love poet for 206 comments.
- My mood is , and quote is "Enjoy life; there's so much time to be dead".
- I am a 18 year old guy (United States)
- When I'm not writing, I'm a professional fuck up, lifeguard and student.
- Visit my homepage at www.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=10278454&Mytoken=20050306155446
- I have 206 comments, 1 contest, 8 poems, 20 stories
My Poetry
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And we drink until we can't walk
And smoke until we can't breathe -
I remember the last time I kissed you
The last time my thumb trailed your face -
39 lines, 4 comments, March 6, 2005. In Sad
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Contest: Pity Me
by: IMSICK Feb 8, 3:33 a.m. (bookmark) (print) (next)
My Stories
1 - 3 of 20
Show all at storywrite
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I walked into the deserted house with my gun pointed directly in front of me. My hand was gripping it so tightly that my knuckles were whiter than the moon that was out tonight1940 lines, 5 comments, September 26, 2005. In <200 lines, Horror
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He stood up slowly reaching into his jacket pocket grabbing his cigarette pack. James lit up and took a long drag. He stepped off his porch and into the open air. At that momen2050 lines, 6 comments, September 4, 2005. In <200 lines, Horror
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So, at times one has to question why one feels the way they do. I’m lying on my mattress in the middle of my room, staring up at my posters that cover the holes in my walls. Fo1124 lines, 4 comments, September 2, 2005. In <200 lines, Depression
Guest Book
1 - 4 of 38
Show all
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anyonita jenea on October 23, 2005lol i absolutely love your front page...some good shit you have up here! esp that first quote by woody allen...lol awesome
Edited on Oct 23, 5:51 p.m. because ''. -
Araina on October 16, 2005Just wanted to say thanks for the trophy and the points So... Thanks! You really went in depth on your page. I like!
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Unholy Water on September 19, 2005Sorry if I go on the defensive, for some reason that's how I tend to operate. First off, I know that blood runs through my entire body, but just seeing it makes me pass out, I don't know why, it always has, and probably always will. And life isn't really depressing toward me, A lot of the stuff I wrote on this page was meant to be sadistic/pessimistic/cynical. I'm not really depressed by life in general, if I was I would probably be dead. There are small aspects of it yes. Like, the girl that I loved died in a car accident because of a stupid mistake that I made, maybe because I have scars on my back from a "loving parent" or maybe its because I've had two trips to rehab for being stupid. I'm not depressed by life to be honest, I love my friends, I love to work my several jobs, all with the exception of the lifeguard at the YMCA, I'm not depressed. At least I don't think I am, maybe it's the fact that I'm a seventeen year old guy that I don't think I'm depressed, I'm not sure, maybe I am and it just hasn't occured to me. A lot of stuff I have written on this page was before my friends really started helping me, or when I just felt like bullshitting some information. I don't live in darkness either, I actually have my mind set on a certain goal in life, and with the exception of once maybe twice in the past two years, I haven't taken my eyes off that goal. Being punk, is not about being depressed, never has been, never will be. I'm not depressed, I have my days when I'm sad, when I grieve over some past mistakes, but overall, I'm generally a decently happy person. On a scale of 1-10, one being the lowest mood ever, I'm usually at a 6, 7, or 8. And, I know I don't live. I'm too busy trying to support myself, my education, my sister's life, her education, and my friends when they really need me to live all the time. I have my days when Im just walking around, but I also have my days when no one could tell me I was dead, since its pretty clear that I'm not. On the smoking aspect. For right now, I'd rather take the cigarettes to calm me down, over the booze and drugs. I'm cutting down, since I can't really afford cigarettes any more, but they're what is stopping me from having a third tour of rehab. A cop would shoot me is kinda an inside joke I have with my friends where I live, since we use to steal food from the safeway, the police in my hick town, didn't really like that. I'm not demeaning or destroying myself, I'm trying to get by with what I've been handed. Trust me, I did not want this lifestyle, but it's not my fault that I'm seventeen and have to support three people, maybe we could extend it to four, single handedly. I'm not throwing your words away, I'm just trying to tell you that right now, all I'm trying to do is take the cards I've been dealt, and make the best possible hand out of them.
~Zave -
Scared of blood? It runs through your entire body. What really scares you? The fact that it is easy to bleed or the fact that it is easy for others to make you bleed?
And why does life have to be so depressing to you? I thought you wanted to live forever. I thought you wanted to enjoy life. Living life in darkness is not living, just existing. Like being a vegetable. You can be as punk as you want without having to make yourself depressed. If that's what life is, I never got the memo. Sure the world is going to Hell, is in Hell, is Hell, for all we know, but, we can atleast enjoy life while its there, without destroying yourself, too.
I'm going to go read some of your work, Zave. Though I don't know you, I find you terribly amusing. I see a lot of my own cynical views in your page, but I'm not so deep in darkness that I don't live. I hope you live, too. (And stop smoking. It's disgusting. If you get old, you'll hack and couch up gross tar like spit and die. You're smoking rat poison, basically. ANd if you don't live to that ripe old age and you die because a cop shot you, that is really dumb. I hope you are not insulted. I just find your lifestyle interesting. Why demean and destroy yourself? It just doesn't make sense to me.) I really hope that you take these words to heart. think on them. maybe they mean something or maybe they mean nothing, but don't just throw my words away. Atleast read them and think on them. You don't need to talk to me again, and trust me, I won't give you any personal information about myself. Goodbye and good luck in judging your contest.
