Trilliana• Show poetry

Heaven's Not A Place You Go When You Die It's that moment in life when You Actually Feel Alive.


Life is but a dream on the way to death- The Crow City of Angels

... I die now....


I haven't been around in a LONG time, so names might have changed, some people might have left. I don't even know XD



*Seriously, get a hold of me off AP. I'd love to talk on messengers more than the CB or slow IMs!*
AIM-darkvampgodess
YIM-party_hardy2004
MSN-sweetieluv8@hotmail.com

AKA (AP style)
~irrationalmind
~Trilliana
~Star Rae


my second AP name is princessofpain...
*is officially the princess of pain... daughter of ... she changes her name constantly... but Postmarked Obituary of the AP Mafia*

Gott wei� ich will kein Engel sein
God Knows I don't want to be an Angel...

NurseChilly: we're not scary... just because I like blood.. what's wrong with that (August 16 2004 @ 11:34 Pacific time)
AnnD: ha ha ha. nooooo i'm not a vampire. i might be a witch though.lolol...........*flies off on her broom cackling * (August 17th @ 2:46 am)


AutomaticPilate: (August 16 2004 @ 7:31pm Pacific time)
HA! I got Gio to blush by saying he rocks! WHICH HE DOES!
AutomaticPilate: Wow, Trill, I got a couple of mentions on your page...
(11:56 Pacific time on August 17th)

~Nurse Chilly- My mod General... I have her deputy mod badge and I shine it like I have obsessive compulsive disorder
~AnnD- You're AWESOME!!
~AutomaticPilate- ^^ I can make him blush in the CB!!! hahahahah he's awesome
~Kasadaye- the coolest, she's so awesome. a great laugh sometimes too!!
~morgana raven- awesome poet, check her out
~icefire- You need to get back into writing, you're awesome Lewis
~KingDracoTempros- He's so awesome, I dunno where he's at though... he's just awesome though
~Op3n WoUnDs/bloody knife- totally awesome
~ri-parker- my sister, awesome
~Chibber Monkey- another sister. she's so awesome. I luff her
~static- ACK! My Brian!! heheh he's so awesome!
~Celtic-(and he says that I change my name too often!) heheheh he's awesome, really cool guy, we can get each other talking about music like nothing...
~Arkhayne- great friend, he's so awesome
~Ivory Pyre- my son! I lurve my son!
~coolmommy- The coolest mommy in SoCal! I'm gonna miss you Andrea, take care of Aiden for me!
~SadGothicAngel- A great great poet that... wow... she's awesome... she and I are quitting cutting together... I hope we can help each other, she's engaged now!
~facesofnatalia- My faces! he's so sweet!
~DragonDeamon- Awesome poet!! *shrugs* kinda good friend I guess
~Theostuges- Chris... friggin hilarious friend. Awesome guy too!!!
~Desire- The QUEEN of erotica!
~Torn Chakra- my Auntie Jess. She's so awesome and sweet and has been there for me when no one else was. I owe her a lot... and a lot less tears that could have been shed weren't because of her awesomeness!!
~Silvrwolf- One of my first friends here, he's great
~TheRainKing- JASON! He's such a sweetie
~Spoo- SPOOOOO! lmao... he's so great, but he thinks he sucks, he's taken though
~forgotten-my Katie, I lurve her!
~mannyz143- SISSER!!! she's got a little boy named Andrew now!
~Wicker Ghost- she's so awesome, she's the coolest, she's JANI!!!!! lol awesome CB friend
~the_lost_one- a total sweetheart and very very pretty compared to me, don't believe her if she disagrees cuz it's true!!!
~Darcion- *huggles* my fallen angel, he's so great
~Midian- I miss him... he's supposed to make a contest for me
~Sinfiend-hee hee he's coolies
~midniteracer111- the main reason I joined! my stephie! I love you!
~brodie25- daddy! lol I love my daddy... he's cool!
~Postmarked Obituary- my mommy... I hope she stays
~Trikra- Crystal, my sister, she's awesome and has some really awesome poetry
~TheLiberalPoet- Aaron, my liberal bi boi, he's cool and has an awesome sense of humor...
~BladeofEquinox- sezzy brit DJ boy... me miss him for a long while there... I miss him whenever I don't see him on!!
~Paper Heart- MEH CORY! I lurve my cory so much, he's the best guy! haha ... people need to luff him, he's too awesome
~Prince of Heaven- Lee, an awesome friend, a great guy... totally the best
~King Bongmaster- 4:20 baby!!
~moonwyrm- A newbie mommy... Susan, take care of the lil one!
~sidewinder- Bill, he's so cool!
~JPuchyr- John, my best buddy
~Kutless- how I love him, he is just the best
~Cheesy Poof- there, you're added hee hee, he's cool and lives near me... we need to see a movie sometime! He's also my awesome AP son
~wastedlove- my second AP son, he's such a sweetie
~PurpleBunny- he's so friggin funny, always puts a smile on my face
~ilovemygrape- my friend!
~Mad at Gravity- A great friend and an awesome commenter... and a great poet too....
~MainMatt- such a sweetheart!
~dragonmaster- a sweetheart ^^
~blue-eyed-poet- my blue eyed one... I lubb him, he's awesome. Don't talk much though
~ HeLLaKeWL420- AKA IceCold... awesome awesome poet... cool as hell too
~DocFeelGood- My pick me up, he's the best if you feel sad!
~MeesterFoppotee- Ohana means family, Family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten... he ish my stitch and my cousin!
~Seraph1885- cool chicka!! awesome writer too
~touchof1der- awesome erotica writer, her version of Jack and Jill is one to be read! my second AP mommy and my lovely mentor


Current song I love...
"Angel"

I believed that love was sacred
As I dove blindly into her sea
You see, that warm embrace felt more like drowning
As endless waves crashed over me
She was an insatiable black hole
Feeding off my mind and off my soul
I find love humilating
Sick and desperate need that drains me
God I hope I never feel again
But I've never been loved by an angel
I've never felt anything so pure
I've never been loved by an angel
Until tonight your heaven filled my room
She showed me love could lift me higher
With a kiss she reparied these broken wings
She revived my fading spirit
Restored my faith in everything
I have never felt I had a home
Even in a crowd I felt alone
I'd almost given up on life
I'm fully determined now
And never thought I'd ever feel again
I believed in nothing
But you believe in me
I thought that life was worthless
But you told me I'm a star


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a poem dedicated to me by dragonmaster

all alone (dedicated to trilliana)


She sits in the corner all alone,
people hurt her and they don't care,
they get pleasure out of peoples pain,

all she wants to do is roam,
life to her is not fair,
she sits all alone in the rain,

people may care but they don't show it,
all I can say as in the usher song... "let it burn",
we should be grateful for all... not just some,

she needs respect as much as anyone else,
love her with all your heart,
care for her with all your soul,

all I'm asking is...

make her wanted


There's a lot of other poems written for me, but I"m too lazy to look for them all lol Anywho, you're probably wondering who I am.

I used to be irrationalmind, but that's when I first joined. Then I became Trilliana. I was named that by my AP mommy Allissia T after she had some JD and did some stuffs with my AP daddy brodie25 and I came into the world. I was named after Trillian, how sad... lol Then I changed to Star Rae because that's the name that I wrote my stories Crimson Lips and Crimson Lust under.

I have a lot of things to write about. From Bush being an idiot president (my opinion) to paganism (my beliefs) to people I love to people I hate to my life, to random things like my allergies.

I've been on AP for a lil over a year and I have celebrated both my 18th and 19th birthdays here. Isn't that awesome!? lol. I'm a freak and I'm damn proud of it.

I am also a mod in training. I help the mods keep the CB G-rated, even though sometimes I break the rules, but I don't go in there much any more because there are two people that hate me on this site. lol Poor them.

I have been in a lot of long distance relationships. Many of them have been brought through AP and I'm still friends with most of my exes on here. I love all of my friends. They're the best.

midniteracer111/darkdreamerz/reblewoutaclue and coolmommy are my oldest friends and I met them where I used to live. They are awesome poets and I think everyone should check them out.

ummmm I think that's it. Adios!