TheJaedenBeast• Show poetry

Real Name: Ric Reed. Remember that.

I've been writing for forever. I'm taking an interest in songwriting, but that's tough stuff.

Check out my MySpace at [myspace.com/thejaedenbeast]
Check out my Xanga at [xanga.com/thejaedenbeast]

Okay, here is my biography. My life revolves around uncertainty. I did not use to like it, but change has brought me about to loving what I am and what I do, even now that uncertainty has brought me through a circle (and that was the best thing that has ever happened to me). Rainy days make me wet. Music is a large portion of my life: listening, playing, singing. I like to spend my time forgetting my lines on stage. AOB was one of my original families. I eat dinner with my real family. I believe that people who say [and/or pretend] they are "straightedge" are dipshits. My personality is somewhat effeminate. I get PMS. I have been in two car accidents in one week. I am too tall to stand up in an ambulance. I am a pretty good actor. I like slurpees. I love frappuchinos. I am too smooth for words, which is ironic, because it is how I got so smooth. I want to be a professional writer/ poet/ lyricist/ prosemaster. I am addicted to my Zune, my cellphone, toothpicks, and life. I like sad songs and movies that make me teary. My style encompasses "Goth", "Emo", "punk", "preppie", and "just plain unmatched". I have never had crabs (except to eat.) I love to write short stories that involve scenes in my head. I like to be confusing. Pasta makes me uncomfortable. I like candy corn. My family owns at least ten animals at all times. Yard work is hard work. I wear a size thirteen shoe. I have a few different colors in my eyes (you should check them out). I am broke most always and need a job that does not involve selling myself on a corner (…or does it?). I wish I could have flown on the Hindenburg. I am a pyromaniac and own a wide variety of flame-making tools. I have more stuffed animals in my room that most of the female species combined. (UPDATE: Actually, now that I go to college, I leave all my stuffed animals at home.) Poonany. My electric guitar does not have any strings and I have a banjo. I can speak in many different dialects and accents. Reality TV is a turn off. I like to push grocery carts. I am a hobo on a mission. Take my advice: do not trust whitey. I am ashamed of my addiction to MySpace. Sometimes I seem bipolar, but then I seem like a polar bear. I run with scissors. I am generally an unsafe person to be around. I am an underachiever. I hate mascara and mainstream/overplayed things. I do not sleep very much. (EDIT: Waiit... yes, I do. In fact, I sleep for 10 hours sometimes. Thank God for security.) I have four different shampoos and a bottle of conditioner in my shower, and they are all for me. I like splashing around in puddles after the rain. Watching the sky at night is one of my favorite pastimes. Can't touch me, dun dun dun dun. Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it (ice, ice, baby). I do not like huge, gross boobs. Big yet sexy is alright, as long as they fit. I can not crack an egg without getting the shell in the pan. (UPDATE: I have been practicing and I think I can do it properly now!) Drugs are bad, in my opinion. (UPDATE: Call my a hypocrite, but they are also quite good.) My opinion should be worth more than anything to you. I like deep conversation with just about anyone on just about anything. I do not cry often, but when it happens, it is meaningful. I have done a lot of regretful things, but I don't regret them. NO REGRETS ’06. I am a camera whore, a comment whore, and a critic. I think I have an obsession with pulling out my hair. I look introvertedly often and realize deep things about myself, which nobody else can relate to. I have the best friends on the planet. (UPDATE: Sometimes.) I like both the sand and the snow! I like to throw rocks at bats. Long periods of darkness are sometimes fun. I love camping. I am white. I have an elbow on my face, but most people call it a 'nose'. I prefer to stay away from conventional medicine when I can. I hug trees. I try not to be a hypocrite, others do not agree with that philosophy. I am naturally more comfortable on stage. I enjoy a good duet. I am a member of the Cinnamon Boys. Save the drama for your mama. Vicodin is crap. I know CPR, and I will use it on you whether you need it or not. More likely not. Insanity does not equal Saturday. I own at least 13 articles of clothing that came directly out of the drama department. I have problems with my internalities. I am an international superhero (but only in the Netherlands). I am most likely to die a horrible, painful death. I am constantly writing poetry. I love dressing up and pretending to be an aristocrat (or Sinatra.) [and, actually, I am not pretending.] I wish I were born in the 40's or possibly, like '35, so then I could live through WWII, the hippy age, the emergence of rock ‘n roll, and other awesome eras. I am very contradictory. I love hearing new bands, seeing musicians, and singing in the shower. I am very impatient, especially when I am all dressed up and ready to go, walking with a dead man over my shoulder. I am Superdad. I love my emo hat and glasses. AMVETS sells Jesus’ jeans for $149.95! I write depressing posts and poetry: it is a fact of life. Sharpies fix anything. So does Gatorade. Convalescent homes are fun places to sit for 14 hours... and old women are very spry escapees. Teenage drama is great. (And by great I mean retarded.) Theatre and certain friends can bring me out of any mood and make me feel awesome. Or, at least, temporarily awesome. "He says, she says" crap does not fly with me; I cannot stand people who contribute to it. I get excitement when life does a 180 on me. I am an IMPROV KING. I crack nearly all the joints in my body. Loudly. I enjoy writing autobiographies and descriptions of myself. I hate everyday politics. I love sad, acoustic music. I am really not that talented. I will probably make the same mistake several times before learning my lesson. I hate my current cellphone (and I always will). Breakfast food is the best. My middle name is not "Carol," thank you. I am pretty good at killing phones and building bridges. I always save the best for last (e.g.: the marshmallows in Lucky Charms). I like the movies. I like the word "okay". I own a banjo and special, wrap-around finger picks (I have stated the banjo thing before, but I just enjoy it that much!). I steal peoples CDs and never give them back: mwuwuahahahaaaaaaa! Some things I can't hold back and other things I hold back too much. HINDENBURG! Some day, the we will all come together and realize what makes the world really go 'round. Boomerang! I love to learn, then forget, then learn again. I smile like I mean it. I have stolen the secret ingredient of Utah! (Fry Sauce) "Is that how you pronounce it?" Chuck Norris is the most badass person alive, right next to Sean Connery. 12:40am is the best time of night. I love baths, showers, and towels. My futon is the most versatile piece of furniture I own. And s’mores are awesome. I am Gaston. I love sleeping in. I am pretty godly at Halo 2, my gamertag is BeastlyJaeden. I have a goddess. I want to sing in a band, but I am not sure where to start. I love every single type of music. Mmmmm.... toasty. I am the King of the fort, so take THAT! I hate being stuck in games with losers and de-levelers, they suck so hardcore. I go to bed late and complain about how tired I am all day. I love it when you call me Big Papa. Stage fighting RULES. I walk around with my guitar and make up songs about people on the street. Damn you, Morrowind! I love chocolate. I love kisses. I never give my real name at Starbucks. I drive through mud and shit every once in a while. I love making movies. I love directing. I do not like getting up early and being too awake to go back to sleep. Tanning lotions (instant tans) are stupid; they always just leave my skin stained but not much darker. (Not that I use them.) I go insane when my phone dies. I am incredibly seductive when I have my hair done. Dorothy? I enjoy the occasional work-out session. There is one form of working out that I enjoy above all others. I want to be a power ranger. I wish I had a specialty. I need to learn to cook. I am officially a student at Southern Utah University. Getting teeth pulled is the worst torture that could ever happen. Bringing a guitar to the beach is just a set up to get sand in every hole (mostly the acoustic hole). The Sims is hardcore old school awesome, especially because I have probably created you, fine reader, into a character and did horrible things to you as if I were your God. I am your God. Happy peanuts soar over chocolate covered mountaintops and waterfalls of caramel, prancing nougat in the meadow sings a song of satisfaction to the world (...the world). I am a Gunz champion, and if you would like to challenge my title, you will lose. I am a one man wrecking machine. I am a college boy now. I braved northern Utah and became Yazz from Sweden. Shpadoinkle! Now that I am learning to draw, can I sketch you naked? Please? Showering is for the weak. Train Stop dancing is probably the best idea since the Chinese Fire Drill. Not procrastinating is for people who do not have a life. I do not understand why I procrastinate. I died first, twice. Say Anything is the greatest live band ever. TOP BALLS! I am soon going to be performing with a locally famous improvisation team. I am a DJ for Power 91! I have successfully ruined my voice by continuing to be loud, even when I had no voice. Cafeteria dinners can be very blah, sometimes. Bridging the past and the future does not always work. I was the Biker from the Village People for Halloween. You cannot beat that, bitch! I have the greatest skateboard wrecks ever! I am the world’s most giant doctor! All I need is two days of rehearsal, baby, and then I can play any part. Pollen and Salt. I enjoy Xanga probably more than MySpace. I love pistachios: God's little salty gift to man. (Do not ask what God's little salty gift to woman is…) I love my laptop, oh so much. Basketball is fun to watch, mostly because you can taunt the other team while they are up close to you. Top Balls! I am a massage GOD. Playing in the hall with bouncy balls is like, the greatest game ever invented: playing in the stairway makes you a God. The Warriors book, movie, and video game are probably the best 3 takes on any story ever. I am part of the 76% of Americans who does not stretch before physical activity. SNOWMEN! All day snowboarding is super fun, but the next day usually leaves you totally trashed. Final Fantasy is awesome. I am a grade A procrastinator! I can schmooze my teachers out of anything. I am a concertoholic now: I cannot help but look at concerts and buy tickets. I love writing super long profiles. (Did I ever mention that?) I write sappy songs on my guitar. You know what I said about me being on the radio? I play your requests and saying basically whatever I want to. (I love being on the radio.) I think that I can write some pretty good poetry, so you should ask about it and I will send you something (maybe I will write you a poem.) I love looking at other people's MySpaces and seeing how their lives are, which is probably you and you do not even know it. I went through my whole profile on a vendetta against contractions; I hate them. I am a mattress surfer and enjoy trapping people in the elevator, as well. I love my iPod and am very happy to have it back; even happier to destroy it. I now love my Zune. Do you have a difficult question? Message me and I will answer it for you. I love Scrubs, Lost, and Prison Break. I love you. I am one-third felon. Courts cannot hold anything against me: I am untouchable by the law! I drive forty minutes for Jack-in-the-Box. I sometimes hate where I am, but I guess I get over it. "And you will never know, just what you mean to me." I am a bad poet, writing bad poetry about bad ideas. I have no idea what I want to do with the rest of my life. Does that give you as much anxiety as me? I put more people to sleep with a guitar than Dr. Kevorkian did in his entire career. (ZING!) Eh, you hoser. I was a male-cheerleader; I threw girls in the air and caught them on my hands. The B306 boys had a short lived band, and we were awesome. I love concert-going, in fact: I have written four essays on that topic. Black Bird. I love getting out of speeding tickets because I am smooth. I love being a cultured individual. I hate being sick every time I come home (or if people come out to see me). I like being naked. (Especially around other naked people or in situations involving a device pouring water from a higher altitude than me.) I am a sucker for acoustic. I am a poker champion, and I cannot wait until I am 21 so I can enter into tournaments. Never mind this sentence, it has been voided. My opinion does not matter, in my opinion. I am a sailor on a sail boat. I play tennis in my free time, but I am not good at it (as of April 2007). N64 Zelda games are my favorite. I am a Guitar Hero (II) because I have beaten the game on hard.... but expert is a little more taxing. I'm an uber-nerd for Star Wars. I've recorded some of my songs, making me (officially) famous. I run from confrontation, bottling it up inside, making a mountain from sand. Old flames, old flames, old flames. I will drive 1/4th of my day to see any worthwhile concert. Making a giant profile does not mean I am compensating for anything. I did the Relay for a Cure, 2007 (I both walked and disc jockeyed!). The "Look Around You" series is the funniest damn thing, ever. I am slowly running out of things to write about in my profile. Yarp. I am officially a carnie, because I worked at the fair. I am still famous at the EHS Drama department; the girls there still want my nuts. Prosecutors hate to call me back. I can hit baseballs farther than golfers can hit golf balls (sometimes). I will build you something for the meager price of seeing you naked. I am a bloggoholic, check out my Xanga. I am an avid reader, again. I have a music MySpace: myspace.com/mynameisric. I was a carnie for a month, but I made a deal and got to keep all of my teeth. I am a sly bastard when you let me handle money. I own a snake, and it is quite awesome. I am still a passionate theatre man. I have got a funky sleep schedule. I like to party. I like to think of myself as an environmentalist (though I consider myself an entrepreneur when I recycle and make some quick cash). I like making money (and I have a PayPal account, if you would like to donate a few dollars to me). I cannot navigate a vehicle in cities that I do not often go to. I cannot drive well with other people in the car, distracting me. (Though, I do like to have company… really it is just sacrificing quality for entertainment.) I am finally killing the packrat inside of me. I am addicted to my music library. I consider myself to be creative and inventive. I have decided that I appreciate my chest hair and, in fact, enjoy it. I can push myself to the limit... I just normally choose not to. I believe in professor Snape's intentions. I wish that my facial hair grew faster and were thicker. I love seeing old friends, but I rarely initiate seeing them. I want to become a record producer, but I am not sure the path to take to become one. Zulu handshakes are the best. I love fire. I want to be formal, but I am here to party. I will whip your ass at Guitar Hero (III). I love acting like me, whoever I am at the time.
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