TheChaosInYourDreams• Show poetry

"I'm am a Yami Ninja person and I will be your page director" *poof I'm behind you* so look *poof "ha I'm already back don't touch anything mouse or keyboard seriously if you do I will go *poof* and be at your house and don't turn around cause I am already standing behind you and if you look at me you will go *poof* but never come back so comment or I will go *poof* and I will be in your dreams but seriously I'm not crazy" *the voice inside my head says "or am I"* "bye" zzz... *poof*

Well I'm Tony Machado I'm 17 I'm random strange and demented i pretty much just like to live my life so like me or my work or don't either way I don't care

"Yay" zzzzzz... Oh um "I'm back" "Ooooh look a pretty" "Uh what were we talkiin about" "Well bye" *poof I'm gone*

*poof I'm back*

Well I'm Tony Machado I'm 17 I'm random strange and demented i pretty much just like to live my life so like me or my work or don't either way I don't care

"Yay" zzzzzz... Oh um "I'm back" "Ooooh look a pretty" "Uh what were we talkiin about" "Well bye" *poof I'm gone*

"My eternal rivals are those acursed dragons and all of them shall befall extinction for they tempt to mess with the followers of the the death lord" "we the reeper nin. are masters of darkness and death" "Me and the reeper of souls will combine and we will become the bone reeper from my bone abilities"
"equiped with our new bone scythe" *we impell the dragons* "we continually grow stronger for each soul that is trapped in our sythe and fortunate for us the dragons have powerful souls"

This is a bit about my avatar and my true chaos form:
He's a warrior of Chaos who has given himself to the cause of Death. He's a warrior who has decided that he and he alone is going to become the great power on the planet. He has decked himself in armor; he's like a big tank with enormous swords, and he has decorated it with all the elements of Reality. Chaos is comprised of eyeballs, the color blue and eternal fire. He's all about feathers and birds and claws and beaks.
He is a chosen warrior, someone who is absolutely into Chaos, absolutely given to Death, the Changer of the Ways, the Great Manipulato. He's going to slaughter anyone who stands in his way -- or on his side -- or anyone who's near the top of the bone spires, 'cause that is the way of Chaos. Although they will fight on the ground with great swords, there will come a point when he will be able to fight strongly... by not having his feet on the ground.


Hello and welcome to the mental health hotline.

* If you are an obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
* If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
* If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
* If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want; stay on the line while we trace your call.
* If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transfered to the mother ship.
* If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
* If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.
* If you are dyslexic, press 969696961001
* If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on the line.
* If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name.
* If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.
* If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep, or before the beep. Or after the beep. Or before the beep. Please wait for the beep.
* If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9.
* If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are far too busy to talk to you.

*I press 3,4,5,and 6* -they traced my call then beamed me to the mother ship- *while on the ship I heard the little voices* and they told "me no one will answer" *I pressed 8 but can't remember what happened**I pressed 9* *I pressed 9* *I pressed 9* *I pressed 9* *But in the end I hung up the people were just to busy* *click*


MY CAR GOES VROOM and I say " yay" MY CAR GOES VROOM and I say " yay" MY CAR GOES BOOOM and I say "ooooh ppprrreetttyyy"

Funny Things To Shout Out

That's a huge *****.
"tacos!"
MEH!BEH!PLEB!
Yay!
PENIS!!!

Funny Phrases

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder
There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.
I don't have a solution but I admire the problem
Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.



Do you think you're cool? (FALSE) FALSE
Do OTHER people think you're cool? (FALSE) FALSE
Do you follow fashion (Yes), or do your own unique thing (No), or set the trends (Not Sure)? (TRUE) TRUE
Do you have a wholesome image? (FALSE) FALSE
Is your image true to who you are as a person? (FALSE) FALSE
Are you a kind person? (FALSE) FALSE
Are you generally upbeat? (FALSE) FALSE
Do you like being silly? (FALSE) FALSE
Are you ever accused of having a big ego? (FALSE) FALSE
Are you good at what you do? (TRUE) TRUE
Were you ever successful? (TRUE) TRUE
If you said yes to question #11, are you still successful? (TRUE) TRUE
Do you have lots of friends (Yes), few or no friends (No), or several friends (Not Sure)? (FALSE) FALSE
Are you a good role model for kids? (FALSE) FALSE
Are you a good role model for people in general? (FALSE) FALSE
Are you up-to-date (Yes), old-fashioned (No), or Out-Of-Style (Not Sure)? (TRUE) TRUE
Do you meet most of your short-term goals? (TRUE) TRUE
Do you meet (or feel strongly you WILL meet) most of your long-term goals? (TRUE) TRUE
Do others consider you physically attractive? (FALSE) FALSE
If someone offered you a large sum of money and garunteed success, but it would compormise your image, what would you say? (FALSE) FALSE
Your Score: 100%
*poof*
"Yes I know their is something wrong with me"
*poof behind you*
"but i'm not crazy"
*poof*

to every guy...We are a dying breed

To every guy that's said, "Sex CAN wait"
To every guy that's said, "You're beautiful."
To every guy that was never too busy to drive across town to see her.
To every guy that gives flowers and a card when she is sick.
To every guy who has given her flowers just because.
To every guy that said he would die for her.
To every guy that really would.
To every guy that took time to do what she wanted to do.
To every guy that she cried in front of.
To every guy that holds hands with her.
To every guy that kisses her with meaning.
To every guy that hugs her when she's sad.
To every guy that hugs her for no reason at all.
To every guy who would give their jacket up for her.
To every guy that calls to make sure she got home safe.
To every guy that would sit and wait for her for hours
just to see her for ten minutes.
To every guy that would give his seat up.
To every guy that just wants to cuddle.
To every guy that reassured her that she was beautiful
no matter what.
To every guy who told his secrets to her.
To every guy that tried to show how much he cared
through every word and every breath.
To every guy that thought maybe this could be the one.
To every guy that believed in her dreams.
To every guy that would have done anything
so she could achieve them.
To every guy that never laughed at her
when she told him her dreams.
To every guy that walked her to her car.
To every guy that gave his heart.
To every guy who prays that she is happy
even if you are not with her.




...This one bulletin is for you...


Not many girls appreciate nice guys anymore...
And because of this, there are not many left out there...


i guarantee 90% of the men on your page will not repost this cuz they care more about their image

If you are a nice guy repost this with "We're a Dying Breed "

If you are a girl that thinks every guy should treat a girl this way
repost this with: "To Every Guy...

*A true hero

A real hero is dirty
His cape encrusted with blood
he is mean and looks evil
But he will do everything to deny he is a hero

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, IwuvMyKenshyPoo, Heidiplease, iNsOmNiAc BiLlIe JoE lOvEr, Black Panther Warrior,Mina the Mischevious, SnowNeko, KylaMizuki, SkyeEyesSparkle7135, Ms.Misery.SouthernSecrets15. ChristinaXCuriosity, SecretButterfly, XxxSuicidal-lovexxX, Property.of.Jesus, Yourhateful. WhoAmIToday, bleedingheart91, Guardian of Shadows, shadow of the void, Danzy007, TheChaosInYourDreams



This is a website to one of my fav. bands and also some song lyrics
http://www.angelfire.com/wa/insaneclownz/milenko.html

The Great Milenko

Intro

"Pumpkin, put some music on, I feel like dancin'." "Hold on, suga, I'm fixin' to right now………3,6,4…awright, now come over here, woman, let's get this shindig started, woo! C'mon, everybody!………… Now what in the hell is wrong with this juke machine?" "Be warned, my children……six will visit……followed by the crumbling of time itself. Before the coming of Shangra La, a dark Carnival will sweep across the land, as a shadow, plagued with destruction. A parade of freaks, jugglers, and death. This wretched nightmare is led by six faces. Three have come…three have gone. The fourth emerges…now. He walks among us as a shadow, void of light, powered by your own darkness, strengthened by your own wickedry. A horrid reflection of your very own deep desires cast and reflected back upon yourself. Brothers and Sisters! The time has come for the Necromaster. The unleashing of the fourth joker's card. The arrival of…The Great Milenko…Milenko…Milenko…" "This damn thing! Maryanne, what in the hell is wrong with this music box?" "Don't mind that old thing, honey, it does that all the time."

Great Milenko

(Chorus Great Milenko (Ha Ha-Ha Ha Haaa…) Great Milenko (Hm-hm-Hm-hm Ha-ha-Ha-ha) Great Milenko (Ha Ha-Ha Ha Haaa…) Great Milenko (Hm-hm-Hm-hm Ha-ha-Ha-ha) (end chorus) (Chorus) Come one, come all, and witness magic! I introduce to you an occult sorcerer of the ancient craft of Necromancy. A caster of mind-bending illusions, from the nethervoid of the shadow walkers, excel from Shangra La…The great Milenko. (Chorus) (Chorus) Ladies and Gentlemen, witness the keeper of arcane, wicked voodoo magic. A beguiler of spells, hexes, and curses, with the help of potions, talismans, and ancient relics from the forbidden realms of the dark carnival. Ladies and Gentlemen… The Great…Milenko! (Chorus w/Milenko echo) (Chorus w/Milenko echo)

Hokus Pokus

aughterin' Strangulars, Jugglin' Jugulin' Juggulas, Fall-in, fat floppy titty freaks…IC fuckin' P's in the Haugh!(Hoo Hoo!) Abracadabra, boom shaka day, I'm Violent J, and I'm back like a vertebrae. And I come with a hat full of tricks, Trunk full of faygo, car full of fat chicks. Ha Ha-Ha Ha Ha Ha-Ha-Ha, fuck you. Wicked Clowns, we'd like to say what's up, to the Cobras, X-men, and Counts, And everybody with clown love, even sucks I never heard of. Roll into town, and out with the big top, Four cards down, and two more still to drop. And when it does, I'd pack up and hit the road, Cuz I don't wanna see your head explode! Toss me an ax, and I'll toss you a dead chicken, Add a buck, ya get a two liter wit' 'em. And when the genie says on with the show, it's Hokus Pokus Joker's, Great Milenko. (Once again, It's the psychotic carnival creatures in the ha…) (chorus Hokus Pokus Joker's ride, Come take a spin on a carny-ride (end chorus) (Southwest slivering snakes of darkness.)(w/Milenko echo) (chorus) Shazaam, Bam! Shaka-laka lokey, Shaggy the clown back like scoliosis, Call me a psycho-skitzo-freak, and I'll call you by your name! (Dick anus) Cuz I could give two shits and a fuck, I bounce down Frimmer in a popcorn-clown truck. I'm a circus ninja southwest voodoo wizard, I grab ya gizzard! Jump on the carpet, let's take a spin, Everybody's waitin' for the show to begin. Up to the top, by the neck, and let ya go, (Wow!) Try to land in a glass of faygo! (UH!) You suck! Ya missed the fuckin' glass, Broke ya neck, and busted ya fuckin' ass, But the genie says on with the show, Hokus Pokus Jokers, Great Milenko! (What awaits you after death? Rub the lamp and explore!) (chorus) (Enter Milenko's funhouse! Walk right through the wretched hall!)(w/Milenko echo) (chorus) F-F-Fuck off! F-F-Fuck off! Clown dog…Freak dog… Joker dog…Milenko dog… (Visions of Joker cards flashing in your mother's face!) (Female chorus) Rude boy and Chunky, down wit' the clown, First time we ever went to Mexican town. I remember, we couldn't pay the bill, they got hot, And beat us down in the fucking parking lot! (Fuck you!) Toljest, Jump Steady, and Nate the Mack, Tagged ICP by the train tracks! And it was on, the dawn of a new day, Magical carpets creepin' down the freeway. (Hoo Hoo) Walked in a gypsy's tent with a food stamp, And walked out with a magical limp, yeah, I met Milenko, he gave me three wishes, That night, I fucked three fat bitches! Stank, get the fuck wit' it, forget it, I'll rip ya face off, and wipe my ass wit' it! When the genie says on with the show, It's Hokus Pokus Jokers, Great Milenko! (Primal order, magic train, come join us in song!) (chorus) (City to village, hamlet to town, the show must go on!)(w/Milenko echo) (chorus) (Giant ladies, bearded ladies, radiant ladies! Ladies?) (female chorus) (Clouds of darkness, and underneath them come the clown!) (chorus) Fuck that!

Piggy Pie

Ahhh! They get it! Woo! We got some fresh fills for your fat chicken-ass to snack on, bitch! So here, start wit' a slice of this fresh piggy pie, mother fuka! The first little piggy, his house is made of wood, He lives in a chicken turkey piggy neighborhood. He likes to fuck his sister, and drink his moonshine, A typical redneck filthy fuckin' swine! I rode into town with my ax in my holster, Everybody knows about the wicked piggy roaster. A farmer at the border, he tried to take me out, I drew my ax with the quickness, and cut his chicken feathers out! Walked in the village, and to the piggy's place, He opened up his door, and popped me in the face. It blew me off the porch, and cracked my head in half, But I'm a Juggalo, so it only made me laugh. (Hehe!) Forty in hand, I rose from the dead, And threw with all my might, I made a pig noise off his head. Since we out west, I had a little fun, And pulled his fuckin' tongue out the back of his cranium! (Chorus Three little piggies, to make a piggy pie. There's nothing like the sound when you hear a piggy cry. I might use a gun, (No!) I might use an ax, (yes!) The carnival's in town, come and get your freaky sex! (end chorus) The second little piggy, his house is made of brick, And this little piggy is a mutha fuckin' dick. He sits on his bench and gets all the respect, But if I get a chance, I'm goin' straight for the neck. He walked in the room, and everybody rose, Lopped off bucket chillin' underneath my clothes. First they let the piggy, now you can finally sit, But what this piggy don't know is he's about to get his neck wet! Now I see the baliff, I'm thinkin' what the fuck? I can smoke this room before his hearing aid will pick it up. Old-ass man, I let him get away, That tired mutha fucka, probably die tomorrow anyway. Here come the piggy, it's time for my case, His eyes are blood red with a wicked lookin' face. He saw my joker's smile, and sentenced me a dime, So I racked on the bucket, made it fuckin' rain pork rhines! (chorus) (chorus) The last little piggy, his house is made of gold, He lives in a mansion on his own private road, I started walking down it, the gaurd he told me wait, I bounced off his head and did a Jackie Chan over the gate! Cuz this little piggy, must definatly fry, I'm a lop his nugget off and toss it in the sky. And then I watch the moon take the form of the devil, And pull it out the sky, and beat it with a shovel. People in my city, they fight for they meals, He sleeps on a matress stuffed with hundred dollar bills. A ritchie is the devil, he never really made it, So I'm a take his money stack and stuff his face wit' it. Opened up his door, he's sleeping in his bed, I grabbed a brick, and roller-laid it upside his head. He begged for his life, I told him it's too late, It took away his dough and watched the devil suffocate, cuz I need (chorus) (chorus) (chorus) (chorus) Rrrrriiinnng. "Hotline." "H-Hello?" "Whuddup." "What's up. I not sure that I wanna live any more, that's what's up." "Hold On!…………………………Helloo?" "I-I need someone to talk to." "Call your mom." "My mother died last year." "Serves her right, bitch! Hahahaha! I'm just playin', fuck-nuts. Listen! Whenever you're feelin' low, just page me, and I'll call you." "You will?" "Sure. I'll call you a nerdy bitch for botherin' me! Now! Don't blow your fuckin' head off." "Why not? Who cares if I do?" "The poor guy who's gotta clean that shit up! If you're gonna do it, do it outside or somethin'!" "Y-You think I won't really do it, don't ya?" "Honestly, I could give a rat's ass." "You think I won't, huh? You think I'm kidding? You think I'm-" "Do it! Do it Fucker! Bring me the gun, I'll fuckin' do it for ya!" BOOM! "Hello? Hello? Are ya there?" "Hello?" "I knew ya wouldn't do it, ya scary bitch!"

Halls of Illusions

Ticket please, thanks, walk through the doors, Into the Halls of Illusion and visit yours, To see what could've, and should've, and would've been real, But you had to fuck up the whole deal. Let's take a walk down the hallway, It's a long way, it takes all day, And when we get to the end, ya find a chair, With straps and chains, we slap you in there! Lock you down tight, so you can't move a thread, And, pull your eyelids up over your head! Cuz you're about to witness an Illusionary dream, It's just too bad it ain't worth seeing. You walk in and see two kids on the floor, They're playin' nintendo, and he's got the high score, And sittin behind them, chillin' in the chair, Is your wife, and you look, oh, you ain't there! It's some other man, and they're hand in hand, How she looks so happy, ya don't understand, See, this isn't a notion, it never came true… All because of you! Back to reality and what you're about, Your wife can't smile, cuz you knocked her teeth out! And she can't see straight from gettin' hit, Cuz you're a fat fuckin' drunk piece of shit! But it's all good, here, come have a beer, I'll break the top off and, and shove it in your ear! And your death comes wicked, painful, and slow… At the hands of Milenko! (chorus Great Milenko, wave your wand! (Don't look now, your life is gone) This is all because of you! (What you got yourself into) (end chorus) (chorus) Look who's next, it's Mr. Clark, The dirty old man from the trailer park. Ya got your ticket? Thanks, take your coat off, And later on, why not? I'll rip your throat off. Let's take a walk down the hallway, It's a long way, it takes all day, And when ya get to the end, ya find a chair, Ya see all the blood? Yeah, ya boy was just here! We get all different kind of people comin' through, Richies, chickens, and bitches just like you! In the halls, everybody gets a turn, To sit and witness your illusion before ya burn! What do we have here? Oh dear! No way! It looks like ya kids' in the O.K.! Ya daughter's chillin' up in college, top grades, And your son's a fuckin' doctor, fat pay! They got family, the kids, and it's all good! They even coach little league in the neighborhood! Is this true? Have ya really seen the holy ghost? Naw, bitch! Not even close! Back to reality, your son's on crack! And your daughter's got nut stains on her back! And they both fuckin' smell like shit, And live in the gutter, And sell crack to each other. When they were kids, you'd beat 'em and leave 'em home! And even whip 'em with the cord of the telephone! And that reminds me man, hey you got a call! Watch your step to hell, in the hallway. (chorus) (chorus) It's time to pack up and move to the next town. But we forgot Mr. Bigot, Okay, dig it, We can't show ya an illusion, cuz we're all packed, bye! I'll still cut your neck out! How's that? (chorus) (chorus) (chorus) (chorus

What is a Juggalo?

(vocal ad li What is a juggalo? Lemme think for a second. (well?) Oh, he gets butt naked. And then he walks through the street winkin' at freaks, Wit a two-liter stuck in his butt-cheeks! What is a juggalo? He just don't care. He might try to put a weave in his nut hair. Cuz he could give a fuck less what a bitch thinks, He tell her that her butt stinks, and all that, What is a juggalo? He drinks like a fish, And then he starts huggin' people like a drunk bitch, Next thing he's pickin' fights with his best friends, Then he starts with the huggin' again, fuck, What is a juggalo? A fuckin' lunatic. Somebody with a rope tied to his dick, Then he jumps out a ten-story window………oh! (chorus What is a juggalo? A juggalo? If that's what it is, well fuck if I know. What is a juggalo? I don't know, but I'm down with the clown, and I'm down for life, yo. (end chorus) (chorus) (vocal breakdown) What is a juggalo? A dead body. Well he ain't really dead, but he ain't like anybody That you've ever met before. He'll eat Monopoly and shit out Connect Four. What is a jug- What the fuck? Connec-man, that shit's wack. Don't worry 'bout my shit, just rap, mutha fucker. What is a juggalo? He ain't a bitch boy. He'll walk through to the hills and beat down a rich boy. Walks right in the house where ya havin' supper, And dip his nuts in ya soup……bloop! What is a juggalo? Well he ain't a phoney. He'll walk up and bust a nut in your macaroni. And watch you sit there and finish up the last bit, Cuz you're a stupid-ass dumb fuckin' idiot. What is a juggalo? He's a graduate. He graduated from…………well, At least he's got a job, he's not a dumb putz, He works for himself scratchin' his nuts, Ha! What is a juggalo? A hulkamaniac. He powerbombs mutha fuckas into thumbtacks. (Bwa!) People like him till they find out he's unstable. He sabooed ya mama through a coffee table. (Oh my god!) (chorus) (vocal breakdown) (chorus) (chorus) (vocal breakdown) What is a juggalo?

Neden Game

VOICE OF HOST: LETS MEET CONTESTANT NUMBER ONE hes a skitzophranic serial killa klown who says women love his sexy smile lets see if his charm will work on Sharon Sharon, whats your question for Number 1? Sharon: Number 1, i belive first impressions last forever if u were to eat dinner with me and my family, how would you make it last forever? hmm well lets see id have to think about it i might show up in a tux HA! but i doubt it id probably just show up naked like i always do and lick your mama in the eye and tell her FUCK YOU! hurry up bitch im hungry i smell spaghetti, i pinch her loopy ass and tell her get the food ready your dad would probably start trippin, and get me pissed, id have to walk up and bust him in the fuckin lips! its dinnertime! were hearin grace from your mother i pull a forty out and pour some for your little brother im steady starin at your sister, ill tell ya this, ya know for only 13 SHE GOT SOME BIG TITS! after that, your dad would try to jump again, but only this time id put the 40 to his chin after your mom dies the dishes and the silverware, id dry fuck her till i nut in my underwear ~~~applause~~~ HOST: now lets meet contestant number 2 hes a psychopathic deranged crack head freak who works for the dark carnival he says women call him stretch nutz Sharon, lets hear your question... >SHARON: i like a man whos not afraid to show his true emotion a mna who expresses himself in his own special way number 2, if u were to fall in love with me, how would you show me that you care? first thing, i could never love you, you sound like a witchy bitch yo FUCK YOU!! but if i did, id probably show you that i care by takin all these mutha fuckas outta here id go through your phone book, and whack em all, then find contestant number one and break his fuckin jaw WHAT!!?? anyone that looked at you would have to pay, id be blowin fuckin nuggets off all day id grab your titties, and stretch em down past your waist, let em go and watch em both spring up in your face id sing love songs to ya the best i can get ya naked and hit it like a CAVE MAN!! we go to tha beach and walk through the sand i throw a little in your face and say im just playin as you spit it all out, i rub your back, and grab your underwear and WEDGE IT UP YOUR ASS CRACK!! ~~~laughter and applause~~~ HOST: well it sounds like contestant number 2 is just overflowing with sensitivity, Sharon its a tough choice so far, sharon lets have your last question to find out whos gonna have the rights to your neden SHARON: ok, if we were at a dance club, and you both noticed me at the same time, tell me, how would you each get my attention and what would your pick up line be who ever'sthe smoothest wins!! first, id slide up the bar, and tell ya that i cant believe how fuckin fat you are id say i like the way you make your titties shake, and if you lost a little weight you'd look like Ricki Lake FUCK THAT!! youd be jackin me quick, id order you a drink , and stir it with my dick, and then to get your attention in a crowded place, id simply walk up and stick my nutz in your face yeah freak her with yo nutz that'll get her TELL HER THAT SHES FAT, YEAH THAT'LL WORK EVEN BETTER look, fuck you, i got a strong rap shit you dont want contestant number two hes mad whack i walked in a barn, and there he was, standin up on a bucket Hooough tryin to fuck it it was big fuckin smelley ass farm llama DAMN DAWG!! how ya gonna diss your mama?? ~~~champagne popping and laughing~~~


Interview

"Hello! How ya doin? I'm here with the Insane Clown Posse, ICP. How you guys doin?" "Bblblblblblblbl!!" "Well, uh, ok... I understand that you guys are from Detroit." "Wwaaaaaaaahh!" "Uh, yeah, ok. Why don't ah- Why don't you tell us something about the group?" "BURRRRRRP!" "Awright, Awright... Any long term goals?" "Ayayaiyaiyaiyaiyai!" "Sure, yeah, yeah... How 'bout ah, solo projects? Any solo stuff to look forward to?" "HA! ha ha-ha!" "Well... well, ok, ok. Well, ah, thanks for coming by and, ah, we look forward to seeing you again, uhu. Thanks a lot! Bye-bye!" Toy Box ~winding sound~ "Oohh, I like... this... toy! Hmm, watch it go..." ~gunshots~ "Ay! Ah! Ay! Uh!" ~Rrrrrinnnng... rrrrrinnnng~ ~beep beep beep!~ "We're sorry, the person you are calling is dead." I was like 6, I used to get dissed by the chicks. And everyone would chase me and hit me with bricks, And rocks and sticks and callin' me names. And fill my lunchbox with frog brains. Ugh! When I left school it was much iller. My daddy was a serial killer, and how about that, He always made me sit in the back, With all his dead bodies in my lap. Move! When I got home, enough of the static, Hammer and tools and up to the attic. Never knew any other girls or boys. Only my toys, toys, toys. Bang, clang, hammer and twist, Nobody knows I exist, and I'm pissed. But I won't be mentally scarred, Instead I make toys, toys of the graveyard. Monday, Ring of the bell. It's all about show and tell. Might as well Show all of these bastards just what I got. Yo, check out my toy box. "Nothin' feels better than a good hardy-har-har. Right boys and girls?" We got dead bodies everywhere you look. All the nerds sittin' up front got cooked. Others start screamin' and makin' a dash. So I start handin' out toys fast at last. You like slinkies? We got slinkies. Only mine like to wrap around your face then stretch, twist, kazoom, And whip your body all over the fuckin' room. So come, one at a time. Open your gift, and what you will find Is a toy my friend, that you'll never forget. It's not everyday that you get your skull split. You like soldiers? We got soldiers, made with rubber and steel. They're not real. But I wouldn't just toss 'em under yo' bed. That's how you get a axe to the fo' head. Oh, and don't let 'em sit around all day. Come home and find your mom... dead in the hallway. Cuz they can be nifty, all the toys are shifty (he-he) In my toy box. (huh?) "Woooowie, that sure sounds like fun!" That's not a toy, hey wait a minute. Don't fuck around, homie, you could lose an eye with it. That's my double blade razor whip chop jimmy. And it's mine motherfucker, so gimme gimme. You like toys? You come to the right place. Try my little toy mutilatin' mental case. Wind 'em up and let him go among alla ya. Then bang! Serial slaughterer! Your turn, reach in and get lucky. Oh look, he pulled out a rubber ducky. (squeaka squeaka) And it make a funny sound, then, Then BANG! Blew the fingers off his fuckin' hand. Don't stop, class ain't done yet. I remember you callin' me pointdex', bookworm brainy, My aggrivation went into these little creations. Reach in. You might find somethin' wicked. Wicked scary, chopping pickaderry. Off with your head, a robot with a sword. You're always lookin' at me, but what for? "Wa-wait a minute, I made you, get them not me. Wait a minute, motherfuckers!" O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-Oh I love this record!...(repeat 5x mixed w/ Hahahaha, Hoohoohoo! Yahoo! Turn it off! Hahahaha, Hoohoohoo! Yahoo! Turn it off! (2x) O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-Oh I love this record!... O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-Oh I love this... "Turn it off!" "Tell me why? Why do you feel that you should still be together with Lisa?" "Sure. Cccc'mon man, our relationship ain't all weak and shit. Ya know I mean-I mean just because she's dead we should just break up or somethin'? FUCK THAT!" "Tommy, Tommy, Tommy, listen to me, she's dead man. You gotta move on." "So what! So she's dead. Does that make you fresher than her?" "I didn't say that." "I don't think so! So she don't talk as much... and she really don't move around a lot. She's still fresh! She's still fun to be around! Heheh-heheh. You're just predjudice!" "Huh?" "You're predjudiced against dead people." "Aw man, you really are one sick bastard, Tommy." "Yeah? Fukoof!" "What?" "Fukoof!" "What the fuck is that? What does that mean?" "It means Fukoof!" "Man, you fuckin' lost it." "Yeah? FUKOOF!"

One day, a 6 year old girl was sitting in a classroom. The Teacher was explaining evolution to the children. The Teacher asked a little boy:

TEACHER: Tommy do you see the tree outside?

TOMMY: Yes.

TEACHER: Tommy, do you see the grass outside?

TOMMY: Yes.

TEACHER: Go outside and look up and see if you can see the sky.

TOMMY: Okay. (He returned a few minutes later) Yes, I saw the sky.

TEACHER: Did you see GOD?

TOMMY: No.

TEACHER: That's my point. We can't see GOD because HE isn't there. He just doesn't exist.

(The little girl spoke up wanting to ask the boy some questions. The Teacher agreed.)

LITTLE GIRL: Tommy, do you see the tree outside?

TOMMY: Yes.

LITTLE GIRL: Tommy do you see the grass outside?

TOMMY: Yessssss!

LITTLE GIRL: Did you see the sky?

TOMMY: Yessssss!

LITTLE GIRL: Tommy, do you see the Teacher?

TOMMY: Yes

LITTLE GIRL: Do you see her brain?

TOMMY: No!

LITTLE GIRL: Then according to what we were taught today, she doesn't have one...........

II CORINTHIANS 5:7 "FOR WE WALK BY FAITH, NOT BY SIGHT"

Emoticons:
http://allpoetry.com/column/306041


OBITUARY OF THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years.

No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

Knowing when to come in out of the rain; Why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding and unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Tylenol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing




Oh and Molly your are still short