Tamaska Forsaken• Show poetry

There are two me's: there's the me that everyone sees, and then there's the me that tries to hide.

The me that everyone sees is Nikki. I'm seventeen, live in Bozeman, MT, am a high school dropout with piercings and tattooes who works two jobs. I've got long black hair, grey eyes, glasses, and I wear my eyeliner heavy. I've got three piercings in each earlobe, with the bottom set gauged to a "0," a helix ring in my left ear, and an industrial in my right. I've also got a ring in my left nostril, and a bananabell in my right eyebrow. I have more ink and metal planned out, but I'm stuck waiting until I turn eighteen. I'm quiet, and I have talent for finding guys that treat me like crap.

The me that tries to hide isn't always as successful as she thinks she is. I'm a philosophical person by nature. I want answers. I don't believe in God. I don't have the time, energy, or inclination to find out. I figure if God existed and worked the miracles his followers' claim, then the world would be a better place. Or maybe I'm just forsaken. I'm kind of an emo kid, but I find that a lot of 'emos' twist the nature of the term to fit their own needs for attention and love. And after working at Hot Topic, I get more of that than I really know what to do with. I spend money on books and tattoo mags. Most of my check goes directly to Barnes and Noble, and payday is shopping day. I like XTreme Couture, and the Affliction line of clothing. I'm almost always in a tee shirt and jeans, supplemented with hoodies.

Right now I'm listening to IAMX. I find that the hypnotic bass and dirty, nasty, filthy lyrics are fitting into my state of mind. There's a local rapper called Pop-a-Pillz I've been listening to as well. Normally I don't care for rap and hip hop, but his lyrics and rhymes are really clever. Some of my favorites and standbyes are HIM, Emilie Autumn, AngelSpit, and Atreyu. I can't stand death metal, the constant bass and screamo vocals grate on my nerves. Darker lyrics and odd metaphors really attract me to an artist.

I suppose that's all I've really got to say at this point in time. If there's anything you'd like to know just drop me a line. You know where to find me.